When you are retired, your resume

[Cirque du So-What]

4. Among the tasks I never want to do again

* Climb 250 ft up the side of a smokestack, pull 50 lbs of equipment up after me, and hang out there in sub-zero wind chill for two hours, poking a probe incrementally into the stack at prescribed time intervals

* Operate not just one but three rubber presses at once - each running at 350 degrees with an ambient air temp of 110

* Make adjustments to gas and air valves atop a furnace that is leaching chlorine gas through holes in the roof

* Scrape maggots out of hidden crevices within a band saw that has been used to cut up sides of beef

* Direct a crane operator to pour a crucible of molten steel into a mold 10 ft away from me

* Don a Class 3 chemical suit in 100+ ambient temp, then slip-n-slide down to a spigot and draw a liter of hot hydrochloric acid solution for analysis

My present working life is centered around a computer workstation. When my cubemates whine that the job is sooo stressful, I try to keep my eyes from getting stuck when I roll them derisively.