few in the UK actually want to leave the EU, whats wanted (by and large) is two-fold: firstly a distancing between the UK and the EU/Eurozone/'European' economic/political structures that have failed spectacularly to deal with the Eurozone problem, and secondly a return towards the organization/relationship that the UK joined in 1973 - which was a free-trade, economic/political co-operation block.
what it was not was a kind of half-built state was economically welded together but with political chaos.
its important to remember that the UK is 1/7th of all economic activity within the EU. the 'economic block' within the EU, Germany the Netherlands etc.., are not going to allow their trading relationship with 1/7th of the economic power of the EU to be damaged over the Social Chapter, or straight bananas - they will, entirely in their own interests, see that an arrangement with the UK that sees the UK revert to a 'free trade+' relationship within the EU as being of far more importance to them than anything else.
its actually also in the interests of those within the EU who are very strongly in favour of becoming a single state - the UK is a big beast in the EU, if the UK doesn't like the idea it can stop it, and moreover it acts as a 'standard-bearer' around which far smaller countries which also may not like a particular idea can group, countries which, without the UK saying the same thing, would be much more easily swamped/bribed/cajouled to STFU - with the UK out of such fights, the 'single state steamroller' has a much less bumpy ride.
the French won't like it all, but Germany (who'se EU ardour has somewhat cooled of late, even if they intellectually accept that far greater political integration of the Eurozone countries is neccesary to solve the Eurozone problem) will prefer a situation where the UK remains in the 'free-trade' fold, as well as within the EU's foreign policy and defence structures (an issue the French will also want to secure UK participation in), but outside the EU's economic/political/social spheres, to a situation where tempers run hot and the UK flounces out of the EU all together. Germany signs the EU and Eurozones' cheques - what Germany says goes.
being a member of the the EU is a good thing for the UK, and the UK being a member of the EU is good for the rest of the EU - the UK provides about 10% of the EU's budget (after rebate and EU projects in the UK), 50% of its UNSC P5 seats, and a very large slice of the EU's military capability - big picture concerns will, in the end, trump fragile ego's.
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