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(20,176 posts)
36. How to be awesome.
Sun May 20, 2012, 01:27 PM
May 2012

Actually it's advice for anybody: iconoclasm, edginess, confidence. Look at what you do, what the personal standards are, and push yourself closer to the edge. Stay this side of being a lout. Honor once lost, is never regained. Be honorable in all you do.

Don't grow sideburns, grow muttonchops. (Then shave them off after a week, they look like shit on anybody but Elvis and Civil-War officers...but first...grow them. They make anyone feel like a badass, note the feeling...that feeling, that swagger, it's what you're after.) Anything worth doing is worth doing bigger

Take fashionable risks. Wear narrower ties, complementary patterns, buy good dress shirts in non-standard colors. (Always own at-least one crisp pressed brightly-white dress shirt though.) Slimmer-cut designer suits. Do the things that you think: "I wish I could dress like that." I have a lawyer friend that wears Italian driving moccasins and Sperry Top-Siders to court among the wing-tip crowd. A casual shoe or sneaker in dresswear says "Fuck you. I'm impressive enough that I don't need to wear uncomfortable shoes for the likes of you." The richest most-powerful guy I know wears ratty plain-old Converse All-Stars with his suit; who the hell is going to tell him he can't?

Look good, feel good. Nobody loves a boring inactive slob. Do something daily that is fun and active. Shoot hoops. Play tennis against the side of the garage. Hell, chase the mailman barking your head off, it works for the dog. Find the one small bar in town that serves sangria and has a mariachi band with a dance floor. Not only will you get your exercise...the women tend to outnumber the men about 6:1...and it's better if you can't dance because they'll love to teach you. Personally, I've been needing to be taught how to dance for several years now and have rarely gone home alone.

Do interesting shit because you can. What's interesting? Who cares. Do things because they're there to be done and you might enjoy them. You might even meet someone else who does not suck while doing it. Perhaps at this very moment the next Mrs. dawg is preparing to run the length of Africa and you'll never meet her otherwise. Perhaps not, but if not at-least you've gotten an experience out of it.

One skill everybody needs to know is--How to be a conversationalist. It amazes me that nobody has this skill and so many people are daunted by it. "Hi, How are you?" "Fine. And you?" "I'm awesome. I just won an encyclopedia in an raffle." "Have you read anything interesting in the encyclopedia yet?" Really, is that hard? People dread having to talk to other people. If you can't have a conversation, there is no helping you. There's a great book on the subject, thankfully, called "The Art of Conversation" by Catherine Blyth.

Devise a mantra. Mine is: "What would Cary Grant do?" Of course the answer is always drink gin-drinks, engage in recreational-sex and look classy & stylish doing it...but it never hurts to ask the question. It's helped me discern that real men don't wear casual dress-pants with polo shirts unless they're golfing. Also, golf is a sport for men that want to dress like dorks. Also wit, charm and confidence excuse all manner of poor behavior. (except dishonor.)

Do what you do. We're all good at something; do the shit out of it. Look good doing it. Display no modesty whatsoever about what you're good at, but always in "bite-sized" portions. Accept praise humbly. Always acknowledge the contributions of others as central to your success.

Don't go to the dark side. Mid-life crises are for posers. Don't buy the sports car that screams "I have no self-confidence" when you drive it around in golfwear. Don't chase (wo)men half your age because you want to feel younger, chase (wo)men regardless of their age because they intrigue you. Don't pretend to be awesome, be awesome. Do or do not, there is no try.

I'VE HAD IT WITH MEN Skittles May 2012 #1
Scheduling Skittles for an ass-kicking. MiddleFingerMom May 2012 #67
I found nice atheists at a Unitarian-Universalist church. YMMV. Manifestor_of_Light May 2012 #2
Speaking generally, wo/men who say "where are the good wo/men" Zalatix May 2012 #3
I heard this saying once: Selatius May 2012 #4
I think sometimes people who say that are looking for somebody who is raccoon May 2012 #7
Right, because women get worse with age, and of course a man who chooses Darth_Kitten May 2012 #14
I'm pretty confident that isn't what he said... Cave_Johnson May 2012 #54
Some things strike me as really funny. lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #83
Wrong. Darth_Kitten May 2012 #15
no video? hfojvt May 2012 #53
a lot of times people have these lists of things they are looking for ejpoeta May 2012 #5
Agreed too many people have their ideal/perfect person and don't want to jp11 May 2012 #12
ya. mine isnt perfect either. and yet, those nonperfections dont bother me at all seabeyond May 2012 #21
As far back as Jane Austen's time: treestar May 2012 #6
Most of the gay people I've known Confusious May 2012 #8
Well OK but at least as long as there is not an odd number treestar May 2012 #9
you have got to be kidding me hfojvt May 2012 #57
If you are single at that age aren't there some number of women to every man? treestar May 2012 #69
at fifty though, it feels like the game is already over hfojvt May 2012 #74
I found one. blueamy66 May 2012 #10
Most likely TuxedoKat May 2012 #11
No, have to disagree with you. Darth_Kitten May 2012 #16
Well, I have to go by my own personal experience. blueamy66 May 2012 #71
that is true. when I met bob i didn't realize it ejpoeta May 2012 #18
that's cool blueamy66 May 2012 #72
If that's the case, thank the Universe I never married! nt raccoon May 2012 #22
I've wondered if I'll ever meet a woman like me. unreadierLizard May 2012 #13
These women weren't as smart or strong as they wanted the world to believe... Darth_Kitten May 2012 #17
It's just beginning for you. dawg May 2012 #25
Looks get to women too treestar May 2012 #50
There are plenty of good men. mainer May 2012 #19
So, how can a certified public accountant make himself seem a little dangerous? dawg May 2012 #24
forget the sideburns. Shave your head! mainer May 2012 #26
Can't do that. dawg May 2012 #28
love it.... nt seabeyond May 2012 #30
How to be awesome. Chan790 May 2012 #36
Wow, what a brilliant relpy! dawg May 2012 #38
Women who chase men in sports cars get what they deserve mainer May 2012 #39
Oh, I'm not looking at the wrong women. It's way worse than that!!! dawg May 2012 #41
well for dawg's sake, get OUT THERE then! mainer May 2012 #44
Take the ring off goclark May 2012 #59
Screw you, I'll wear what I want. lumberjack_jeff May 2012 #78
I wish we could rec individual posts Rob H. May 2012 #84
Have you considered writing a book on the subject? Buns_of_Fire May 2012 #86
How about running with sharpened pencils? KansDem May 2012 #27
Yeah, it's pretty hopeless. dawg May 2012 #29
No, I just posted how to pull it off. Chan790 May 2012 #37
Here are some suggestions from Monty Python Art_from_Ark May 2012 #87
Some people are drama monarchs and many of them are women treestar May 2012 #51
Both men and women can be attracted to "baddies" Lydia Leftcoast May 2012 #65
Yep, I follow that idea of not looking and if treestar May 2012 #68
I would love to meet someone nice, stable, kind and sensitive. Marrah_G May 2012 #63
mahina... that is all i have around me. they arent hard to find. i hear ya. nt seabeyond May 2012 #20
I hope that I'm one of the good ones. dawg May 2012 #23
all it means to me is a person with good character and principles. i dont think it is a tough seabeyond May 2012 #31
sorry about hop? dawg May 2012 #32
lol... double sorry seabeyond May 2012 #33
It DOES mean different things to different women Lydia Leftcoast May 2012 #66
Hey now - nothing wrong with a little 420! Taverner May 2012 #34
In my personal life there are more than enough good, fine decent, kind, mature, smart, supportive... Little Star May 2012 #35
The same principle holds true for both genders: GaYellowDawg May 2012 #40
Maybe they should look beyond trying to meet men at the gym, bars and night clubs Sen. Walter Sobchak May 2012 #42
I"M RIGHT HERE!!!! Motown_Johnny May 2012 #43
Ms. goclark goclark May 2012 #45
Yeah, there ought to be a dating/dating advice board mainer May 2012 #46
I agree goclark May 2012 #47
If I weren't already happily married, I would specify on any dating website: mainer May 2012 #48
That is so cool goclark May 2012 #49
Political progressiveness is one of my criteria. mahina May 2012 #52
Absolutely agree goclark May 2012 #60
HOWEVER, I once perused a dating site for Democrats, and half the men's profiles Lydia Leftcoast May 2012 #80
Welllllllllll....................... DFW May 2012 #55
"Say, baby, who's awesome?" Ikonoklast May 2012 #56
Do very many women really wonder that? hfojvt May 2012 #58
My wife sort of likes me. We've been together since '84. HopeHoops May 2012 #61
Human beings are an odd bunch Marrah_G May 2012 #62
Have you ever watched "Excused"? WorseBeforeBetter May 2012 #75
yikes- no i've never seen that Marrah_G May 2012 #76
See my post above about "baddies" Lydia Leftcoast May 2012 #81
I met a good man at a bar and been married almost 23 years now.. cynatnite May 2012 #64
It happens; but under unusual circumstances Lydia Leftcoast May 2012 #82
Mine's pretty good ... noamnety May 2012 #70
The whole pairing-up thing never worked out well for me bhikkhu May 2012 #73
Look for Friends not someone to Love goclark May 2012 #77
You're looking for the wrong women Lydia Leftcoast May 2012 #79
There are a lot of good men and women Blasphemer May 2012 #85
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