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IdaBriggs

(10,559 posts)
Thu Aug 6, 2015, 03:30 AM Aug 2015

It has been a rough couple of weeks. **UPDATED** [View all]

Last edited Thu Aug 6, 2015, 08:50 AM - Edit history (2)

I have been dealing with a young (23 years old) family member who appears to be suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness.

On Tuesday I stood in front of a judge with copies of half a dozen police reports to explain why I am legitimately in fear of her harming herself or others. The reports range from an "abuse/neglect" case involving her then boyfriend causing her 22-month old son to require brain surgery (the baby is now in the care of her mother, or as the family member calls her, "the devil&quot to larceny charges incurred by stealing from her 74-year old grandmother, with a bonus "kicked the window out of a police car when placed under arrest", through last week's suicide threats, which she made multiple times but denied when questioned by police officers.

The judge signed the order very quickly. I don't think the suicide plan from last week (two days of hell that started when she was fired after eight days on a job due to "attitude&quot was what did it, or the menacing/breaking the "no-contact" order with the grandmother; I think it was when I explained that foster care had put in a "no contact" order after she had verbally abused her mother in front of them by stating "you used your vagina to put a roof over our heads, and I am not going to do that." Do I have to add that her mother is an office worker/not a sex worker?

She and her partner - her baby's father, not the boyfriend who put their son in the hospital - are currently homeless/living in her car. He works at McDonalds. Family cannot / will not take them in due to her unpredictable mental state. She verbally abuses her partner at levels I simply cannot comprehend, and nearly brags about how she has at least six domestic violence reports against him from when they lived on the other side of the state. She waved this in front of me during our last talk as her "security" - she told me she could always go to a domestic violence shelter, and they would take care of her. Her partner would have no shelter or transport, and is controlled by her as a result. (They only have one incident together here - her trying to get her grandmother arrested by hitting herself in the face/claiming grandma did it doesn't count, right?)

My plan was to have her escorted for evaluation at her next court appearance (Thursday morning) but she found out Wednesday evening. A very nice deputy took the paperwork and escorted her to the facility; he then explained to me that she and her partner didn't want any further contact with me, and if I did attempt to contact her, I could be charged with harassment. They were done with me now.

I nearly burst out laughing, but contained myself lest it become hysterical. I had already dealt with her earlier screaming threats aimed at me and my children ("I will ruin your life! I will open a CPS case! I will make sure you regret this forever! You are a liar! You said you would help me! I have always triumphed over my enemies and I will triumph over you! I will destroy you!" Etc.) so my instinctive "Promise?" is understandable, but I did not say it out loud. I heard "stay away" multiple times during the suicide drill, and she texts it frequently in between asking for help/meeting for meals, etc. This was the first time a police officer had relayed the message, along with the implicit threat, and I was torn about asking him just how seriously he was taking it, considering the place where we were at and the paperwork he had seen?

But I didn't. I could see doubt in his eyes - she can present "calmly" on occasion, and maybe he thought she was being persecuted or something. Heaven knows she does. I finished making sure the staff was aware of her issues by high lighting important bits, and left. HIPPA means I will have to rely on others to know whether they decide to keep her for more than 24-hours. She had told me she would kill herself if she was forced into a hospital, and I am trusting they can keep her safe. I had made arrangements for her boyfriend to have shelter (the car is hers and he has no license/his last arrest was for driving on a suspended license), but after the policeman's warning, I didn't call him again. (I did make sure the helper had his number, so hopefully he is going to be okay.)

It has been a rough couple of weeks. I did not take this step lightly, and am confident it was the right decision. The up/down mood swings have been getting shorter in duration and more violent in intensity. She cannot understand why the world isn't working the way she expects it to - she *knows more than EVERYBODY* and they should listen to her! - and when they don't, when the police officers and the doctors and the lawyers and the shelter workers and the social workers and her supervisors and anyone in authority tries to tell her how to behave, or that her decision making might be in error, she just cannot Get It and she explodes in epic verbal tirades. The number one question every time law enforcement has had to deal with her: is there a drug problem? And the answer is no, we don't think so - she is tested regularly during the supervised visitation, and also during the week she spent in jail last month. It doesn't seem to be a drug issue, and she is in the age range when these types of issues traditionally start to manifest....

I am left with the questions that have me awake and posting on a message board in the middle of the night. Will she be able to fool them? Am I wrong about her being mentally ill? Will they be able to help her? Only time will tell.

It's been a rough couple of weeks....

ON UPDATE: They released her within hours. The cycle continues....

Thank you, everyone for your support. I wish there was a better system for getting people who need help what they need.

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