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In reply to the discussion: Growing up female [View all]

Amaril

(1,267 posts)
74. I'm 49
Tue May 8, 2012, 05:22 PM
May 2012

Things I remember:

*Family gatherings -- women would cook all day while the men watched TV or drank beer in the garage. After dinner, the women would clean up while the men sat in the livingroom, talking and demanding that someone bring them coffee. One the hardest slaps I ever got from my Mom was when I told my Dad to get his own damn coffee because the women were BUSY.

*Wanting to play baseball with the boys at recess and them letting me play.......but only if I agreed to be all-time pitcher..........AND when I started getting good, then I wasn't allowed to play anymore because I was a "girl".

*Packing the night before I was to leave for college and hearing my Dad tell my Mom that he didn't understand why *I* needed to go to college since I was only going to married in a couple years and start having babies, and that it was a big waste of money on a "girl". (shouldn't have surprised me -- the man completely rejected me from birth because I was a girl........pretty damn sad, considering I was his only child).

*Being told by my mother to not think that I was anything special because I was "just a girl, after all"

*Being completely pissed off when my breasts started growing. Girls were "lesser than" and having breasts made me one of them. I spent my entire childhood trying to act like a boy (in a vain attempt to win my Dad's affection), and sincerely felt like my body was betraying me.

*Overhearing one of my aunts tell my Mom what a shame it was that I wasn't "pretty" because I would probably never find a husband, but at least I was smart enough to be able to get a job, so she should count herself lucky that at least they wouldn't have to support me for life.

Ugh! Enough! Pulling all of that out of the mental filing cabinet just set my head on fire.

Growing up female [View all] noiretextatique May 2012 OP
Absolutely NO ONE ever asked if it was good for ALL of us to get married & have kids. patrice May 2012 #1
I'm 50, and had about the same list as you. LiberalLoner May 2012 #2
sorry you were a victim of rape Liberal_in_LA May 2012 #20
I am in my mid 50's Mojorabbit May 2012 #22
Me too. Birth control pills were a lifesaver! nolabear May 2012 #35
I am SO sorry about what happened to you when you were a little girl renate May 2012 #55
Thank you all. It really was just one more item on the list. I had an horrific childhood and the LiberalLoner May 2012 #65
I can't tell you how thrilled I am to read that you "have such a happy life now" renate May 2012 #77
Thank you! I feel as if I've escaped a concentration camp. Sometimes I do still feel guilt that LiberalLoner May 2012 #83
"I also was adamant from a very early age that I did not want to have babies" noiretextatique May 2012 #94
1989: Dad tells me that he doesn't support college just so I can get my MRS degree Starry Messenger May 2012 #3
Oh, I remember than one! Flight attendant was considered one of the best things that patrice May 2012 #14
I was supposed to be a nurse DevonRex May 2012 #26
omg. Starry Messenger May 2012 #28
mine was odd. i knew men were better/superior/higher on the heirarchy/boss seabeyond May 2012 #4
Spanking women - I love Lucy. And Lucy wasn't like an equal partner. She was what's-his-names Liberal_in_LA May 2012 #21
I am older than you The Velveteen Ocelot May 2012 #5
53 ??? jaysunb May 2012 #6
I tried to join a baseball team... cynatnite May 2012 #7
i took mechanical drawing cause girls werent suppose to. in HS, i forget. seabeyond May 2012 #8
i took mechanical drawing too--7th or 8th grade Scout May 2012 #12
i was Az., and Ca. and a little younger. i dont ever recall a rule i had to wear a dress seabeyond May 2012 #15
Ha MadrasT May 2012 #44
"I tried to join a baseball team..." KansDem May 2012 #16
There was talk around school about the 2 girls taking shop. lol Liberal_in_LA May 2012 #23
I took shop in 8th grade..... Darth_Kitten May 2012 #29
We had to take both in junior high. Jennicut May 2012 #52
They refused to allow girls in shop in the south in the early 60s Warpy May 2012 #73
You're exaggerating a bit slackmaster May 2012 #9
Piano and clarinet were acceptable. The Velveteen Ocelot May 2012 #10
My aunt, who recently turned 74, plays the lever harp beautifully slackmaster May 2012 #13
still going strong today. boys play the drums, girls play the harp...some of them. Liberal_in_LA May 2012 #18
I used to know a guy who played the harp... Neoma May 2012 #60
saxaphones were for boys also Liberal_in_LA May 2012 #19
Yeah, it depended on where you lived. My mom grew up in a small town, where everyone had to do Brickbat May 2012 #41
My mom and her sister learned piano. They can still play some 1 piano/4 hands pieces they remember. slackmaster May 2012 #84
no, it was very much dependent on where you lived Skittles May 2012 #27
I had a job like that at about the same time MadrasT May 2012 #45
um...no i am not all "exaggerating" noiretextatique May 2012 #85
I am 73 and was a teenager in the '50s, RebelOne May 2012 #11
I........er.......HORSE? Skittles May 2012 #78
girls had to take typing & home ec. Boys took wood shop / metal shop. I was the last class with Liberal_in_LA May 2012 #17
I'm too young to have experienced any of this XemaSab May 2012 #24
I'm 62 frazzled May 2012 #25
"You need to take typing in case you need a job." davsand May 2012 #30
I lived in IL for a couple of years too and remember those snow pants. nolabear May 2012 #36
For me it was, "learn to type but don't let anyone in your workplace know you know how" Iris May 2012 #39
I grew up in the 70s and 80s LadyHawkAZ May 2012 #31
These responses are all well and good... but CAG May 2012 #32
Ha, ha, ha! roody May 2012 #34
I graduated High School in 1964 HeiressofBickworth May 2012 #33
I got mixed messages. laundry_queen May 2012 #37
Sexual harassment started in elementary school for me as well. redqueen May 2012 #38
i could not play saxophone in elementary school because i was a girl guardian May 2012 #40
not sure why, but my school had that rule noiretextatique May 2012 #90
After I graduated from high school I had a choice...Stay home an be a waitress, salesgirl or secreta Auntie Bush May 2012 #42
Oh, yeah. 57 here, and the saxophone thing: I thought I was the only one! pink-o May 2012 #43
Remember the jobs listed in the classified ads under headings designating Skidmore May 2012 #46
I'm a few years older than you. Like you, I couldn't wear pants to school, but it was the whole 12 raccoon May 2012 #47
In the mid-70s, there was an ad comparing a Volkswagen and a chair. EFerrari May 2012 #48
i remember wanting to be a boy noiretextatique May 2012 #95
I saw a man wash a dish only once when I was growing up. shcrane71 May 2012 #49
Wow. My dad washed dishes all the time. gkhouston May 2012 #62
Even my younger brother (in his 30s) doesn't wash dishes. shcrane71 May 2012 #66
men never did "women's work" in our house noiretextatique May 2012 #89
Another example of how most times, when a kid gets a spanking, it's because of the adult's anger raccoon May 2012 #79
I was always shocked when my Mother told me she had to wear skirts in college. Jennicut May 2012 #50
life before panty hose and after the JFK assassination librechik May 2012 #51
I would just like to share this with you: juice feast May 2012 #53
What a nasty post, whether you write "no offense" sufrommich May 2012 #56
making friends all over, I see librechik May 2012 #58
LOL. While you were being born into second wave feminism EFerrari May 2012 #59
How nice of you to share your thoughtless cluenessness, before being PPR'ed yet again. n/t gkhouston May 2012 #64
purposely try to offend and throw out no offense meant? really? here, pull this finger. nt seabeyond May 2012 #67
When somebody says "no offense" The Velveteen Ocelot May 2012 #76
oh...FUCK...that noiretextatique May 2012 #86
Don't forget the segregated employment classified ads. sufrommich May 2012 #54
i remember those noiretextatique May 2012 #96
Mom vacuuming in high heels and pearls lapislzi May 2012 #57
I played on the state all-star softball team (early 1960s) but wasn't allowed to play baseball. Waiting For Everyman May 2012 #61
Yeah, I remember having to wear dresses to school. gkhouston May 2012 #63
I grew up in a cesspit of emotional, psychological and sexual violence. BlueIris May 2012 #68
seem minor by comparison.... that it does. nt seabeyond May 2012 #69
yeah me too...plus a debilitating chronic illness BlancheSplanchnik May 2012 #70
too damned depressing.... lol, ya. but, seabeyond May 2012 #71
awwww, thanks sea BlancheSplanchnik May 2012 #81
Thanks for sharing it, Blanche. Amaril May 2012 #75
thanks Amaril :) BlancheSplanchnik May 2012 #80
i can relate noiretextatique May 2012 #87
I'm a little older than you. When I was in high school I was approached by the Air Force. Arkansas Granny May 2012 #72
i wanted to go into the Air Force noiretextatique May 2012 #93
I'm 49 Amaril May 2012 #74
i have an aversion to "serving" to this day noiretextatique May 2012 #88
I'm a little younger but remember the 70s well - TBF May 2012 #82
thank god i had a few older cousins noiretextatique May 2012 #91
i played drums in the marching band in high school noiretextatique May 2012 #92
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