General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: On this date, 4/17/1963, Adults entered into a contract that limited my rights without my permission [View all]StevieM
(10,527 posts)in this country.
Anyone of us could have been aborted. It is unfair to tell adoptees "you could have been aborted." They also could have been born and kept by their natural families.
You are right about single mothers being rare in 1962. That's why it was called the Baby Scoop Era. Women usually had no choice. They often wanted to keep their children but were separated by manipulation and coercion. One way or another, they got her signature to proceed with the adoption that our society was demanding.
But that didn't mean that the women just got over losing their children and happily moved on with their lives. In most cases they grieved for those children for the rest of their days. If you want to show empathy for her first mother then try to empathize with the pain that it cost her to lose her daughter.
And giving birth--giving life--most definitely does make you a real mother IMO.
Finally, I think it is very unfair to tell adoptees to just get over it and let it go. When someone has been wronged, and continues to be wronged, they have every right to process the pain in the manner that is best for them. Part of that often includes speaking out against the injustice that befell them.