Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Hillary Witch? We Are! [View all]

[McCamy Taylor]

That's right. DU is frothing at the mouth, demanding that Some---no make that Any Democrat play Dorothy and throw a big bucket of water on the Clinton Witch and dissolve her before she has her witchy way with us. How do I know? Because I read the posts here, which commonly ascribe Clinton with superhuman---magical, witchy powers.

1. Hillary " the War Hawk" Clinton: Funny, I thought that was Rand Paul's name for her. So why is that DU's favorite name for her? Guess a lot of us just love the wit and wisdom of Rand Paul. Anyway, Hillary singlehandedly started the war with Iraq because hers was the only Senate vote that counted. She is so all powerful that if she had voted the other way, every other Senator would have followed her lead. Plus, she is responsible for Afghanistan, too. Obama was lying when he said he would escalate the war in Afghanistan if elected. He was trying to appeal to the independents. He would have been a total peace-nick.... except that Hillary used her witch powers and her position as SOS force him to commit more troops to Afghanistan and to invade Iran---oh, wait. She didn't seize the opportunity to invade Iran. I wonder if that was part of some super-tricky Hillary witchiness.

2. Hillary "the Lawless" Clinton: Hillary never met a law that she did not break. Just to prove she could. Using her crystal ball, she looked ahead in time, saw that there would be a law in the future requiring government officials to use their government email accounts and so she deliberately and maliciously used her own email account just so she could brag later that she broke the law--and got away with it.

3. Hillary "The Bankster" Clinton: Know why the Obama Administration did not indict Goldman Sachs? It's because Hillary would not let them. To quote from a recent Greatest DU thread. "She is snuggled up good and tight with organized crime crews like Goldman Sachs that stole our future." Never mind that Clinton was SOS and Holder was Attorney General. It was her job---as the Universal Mom--to protect us from the Banksters and she blew it. And while we are on the subject of a recent Greatest Thread...

4. Hillary "She Who Squashes Our Civil Rights Beneath Her Stiletto Heels" Clinton: That witch! She voted for the Patriot Act in 2001, forcing every single other US Senator at the time--except Russ Feingold--to vote for it too. She must have an awesome magic wand. I want one of those. And---OMG!---she forced Obama to vote in favor of reauthorizing the Patriot in 2006! How dare she!

5. Hillary "She Who Is Just Asking for It" Clinton: My all time favorite friendly fire criticism. It goes something like We can not support her because she is too divisive. She deliberately forces people to hate her. It is her own fault that the press plants phony stories about her. She should be nicer, then people would like her more and they would stop saying all those mean, false things about her. If she was not so mad with her own witchy power, she would stop trying to get people to hate and fear her by doing all those awful things she does. You know, like



Ooo! Scary

All this Hillary Has Witch Powers talk is not new. The Press, Republicans and Democrats commonly ascribed supernatural powers to her during the 2008 election. Every time an opponent stumbled, it was because Hillary stuck a pin in a voodoo doll. Every time Matt Drudge slimed a Democrat it was because Hillary Made Him Do It! She turned the ultra-left of left wing New Hampshire Democratic primary voters into white hood toting KKKers who voted not for her but against Obama. Her cackle was the subject of months and months of MSM debate. She was accused of using her sexuality to try to sway the minds of weak willed men---MSNBC spent 23 minutes talking about her cleavage. Her tears were crocodile tears. She was a "whore" (to quote Randi Rhodes) who slept her way to the top---nice trick considering that the press also labeled her frigid and a Lesbian. She was Medea, according to Chris Mathews, the evil mother who wanted to "crib death" her opponent's campaign. Oh, and then there was her magical, witchy stare. A quote from Comedy Central that sums up all the craziness of those who fear the Big Bad Hillary Witch

Of course he didn't. How could he? Hillary, that cunning laserist, amplified her powers by propping her chin in her hand and refusing to blink. It is a miracle she didn't leave singe marks on the Senate chamber wall.

In this undeclared war between the candidates, there was no stronger weapon at Clinton's disposal than the Stare. In the first Democratic debates, Obama seemed visibly uncomfortable with being the object of Clinton's gaze, and avoided eye contact.

But there were nine ageing white males between McCain and Clinton -- including his great friend and fellow supporter of the Iraq war, senator Joe Lieberman -- which perhaps diluted its power.

Yes, only a doughy mass of ageing white males can block the deadly impact of Hillary's Stare.
That is because its energy comes from her vagina

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