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(45,851 posts)
Fri Feb 27, 2015, 09:28 PM Feb 2015

I'm a hard person to love these days and I'll tell you why [View all]

I was a teenage geek when Trek came on the air as a weekly series and it was stunning. Showing a hopeful and above all intelligent approach to life and civilization on and Earth that was assumed to be diverse, cooperative and peaceful. Chekov and Uhura and Kirk and the others and no one noticed sex or color or race or nationality as anything special or any impediment, Uhura was obviously as competent as anyone else, Chekov's impish nationalism cracked me up.

And above all there was Spock.

Nimoy-Spock managed to turn geeky into dignified and oddly cool, an amazing thing in our culture really, a role model I had a hard time pulling off. I was old enough to be sure it was make believe and young enough to be idealistic. Star Trek and the entire crew became a fairly big thing with me until the show was canceled. And of course I continued to think about the role model I'd found.

Fast forward forty years of steady upward climb to lower middle class for thirty of them and then in 2003 the wheels started coming off, prolonged bedridden illness, depression, vast bills, loss of job and the coup de grâce, my thirty year marriage fell apart and I was divorced reasonably amiably but horribly hurt in 2008.

I took my grandchildren to see the 2009 Star Trek reboot, all five of them. About halfway through the scene with Nimoy I realized I had tears trickling down my cheeks and it took me a little while to figure out why. Sitting there with my beloved descendants I didn't and don't believe we have a hopeful future ahead of us like the one in Star Trek, with a benign Federation and an open, egalitarian and post-capitalistic society. I realized that I think my grandchildren will probably not have the same opportunity I had to thrive in an open and relatively free society albeit a less than perfect one in many ways. I think the future is more likely to be Bladerunner or Clockwork Orange or Snow Crash or Rollerball or Elysium or any number of other dystopian films and novels I have experienced. I now think the power of human greed and hate is just too strong as I watch what is happening in this country and in so many places around the world.

I have lost hope.

From the stars our bodies largely come and to our star they will eventually go, we are all starstuff but some of us shine a little more brightly than others. Godspeed Leonard, our atoms will in due time be mixed and we will all indeed be as one.

You gave me hope and then, through no fault of your own showed me I thought it was gone.

I keep having to stop and dry my eyes to see the screen, I've been that way since I heard Leonard had left us.

87 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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My dear Fumesucker... CaliforniaPeggy Feb 2015 #1
What she said. rhett o rick Feb 2015 #6
Thank you Peggy, you're one of the nicest people I've run into Fumesucker Feb 2015 #13
What Peggy and csziggy said Hekate Feb 2015 #40
Great tribute, man...Thanks...nt Wounded Bear Feb 2015 #2
So in a nutshell Egnever Feb 2015 #3
I try not to be bitter Fumesucker Feb 2015 #4
I wonder what your intent is with your post. Tell me you are not chastising the OP author. rhett o rick Feb 2015 #5
Par for the course Aerows Feb 2015 #8
From a certain point of view it's not inaccurate Fumesucker Feb 2015 #9
If you post a lot Aerows Feb 2015 #15
I don't know you at all, but you seem to be someone who truly knows we're not our circumstances. ancianita Feb 2015 #56
Easy conclusion, easy way to not deal with it..... daleanime Feb 2015 #68
I recognize that too. Enthusiast Feb 2015 #65
I too, was stuck sick by the realization of what is and what could have been Half-Century Man Feb 2015 #7
Yes...thanks for this post...and a Hug to "Fumesucker" and the rest....... KoKo Feb 2015 #10
Remember - the Star Trek timeline had wars and hard times before Enterprise csziggy Feb 2015 #11
Yeah, I know... Fumesucker Feb 2015 #14
I remember when I was a teenager in the late 60s csziggy Feb 2015 #46
Well said. byronius Feb 2015 #18
...... madfloridian Feb 2015 #12
This is what gives me hope Tsiyu Feb 2015 #16
This is closer to my feeling most days.. Fumesucker Feb 2015 #23
I know you remember the other similar poster Tsiyu Feb 2015 #25
"The kids just have to wait out the dying Old Guard" was heard in the 60s. ND-Dem Feb 2015 #27
And then the kids of the '60s sold out Tsiyu Feb 2015 #28
I was at a family dinner table with some old friends quite a number of years ago.. Fumesucker Feb 2015 #32
... Tsiyu Feb 2015 #81
I know plenty of young people. I don't see what you do, particularly once they settle down, ND-Dem Feb 2015 #53
I am close with a good deal of young people whose energy, strength, and stability provides me much appalachiablue Feb 2015 #63
You are on to us. We sold out. Enthusiast Feb 2015 #66
Many of my generation ( I am mid 50s) did. Tsiyu Feb 2015 #82
What an interesting list of charities-- Jackpine Radical Feb 2015 #33
I was sort of struck by NPR.. Fumesucker Feb 2015 #70
Perhaps the hope is that funding them Tsiyu Feb 2015 #83
I agree about NPR, but defend WPR. Jackpine Radical Feb 2015 #87
My parents wouldn't let me watch the first few episodes of Star Trek... hunter Feb 2015 #17
Do you know that MLK all but ordered Nichelle Nichols to stay on the show after the first season? Fumesucker Feb 2015 #19
So I learned later... hunter Feb 2015 #22
Wow, I had no idea. BeanMusical Feb 2015 #42
R#38 & K for, I stopped reading halfway through but my condolences n/t UTUSN Feb 2015 #20
I get it... sendero Feb 2015 #21
Excellent post and points, Fumesucker. Thank you. eom littlemissmartypants Feb 2015 #24
kickety.kick.kick littlemissmartypants Feb 2015 #26
You give me hope. Martin Eden Feb 2015 #29
thank you G_j Feb 2015 #30
Oh dear one: spend some time with the children! tavernier Feb 2015 #31
During the Bush/Cheney years ThoughtCriminal Feb 2015 #34
Fumesucker, you got me. Your post will be in my head for a long time.. mountain grammy Feb 2015 #35
I agree that the future will be dystopian awoke_in_2003 Feb 2015 #36
*cough* sniff I think I may have poked my eye doing the Phlem Feb 2015 #37
the rite can only STALL progress. the crazy will lose eventually. pansypoo53219 Feb 2015 #38
I still don't know how to deal with this Kalidurga Feb 2015 #39
What a wonderful post, Fumesucker. BeanMusical Feb 2015 #41
Fumesucker... MrMickeysMom Feb 2015 #43
He lived long. And prospered. Warren DeMontague Feb 2015 #44
I sadly concur. Today's Republican Party is hell-bent on destroying the planet. And the DEMS are blkmusclmachine Feb 2015 #45
K&R DeSwiss Feb 2015 #47
Star Trek was formative to me too... although I idolized Mr Scott. lumberjack_jeff Feb 2015 #48
The weather has been either wet and cold, icy or frigid so I haven't ridden much lately Fumesucker Feb 2015 #50
Sending love and good karma - raven mad Feb 2015 #49
Thanks for the honest heart felt post. JEB Feb 2015 #51
Hang in there my little green friend. The future is us. It is always within us to remake it. leveymg Feb 2015 #52
the future is more likely to be Bladerunner or Clockwork Orange Joe Turner Feb 2015 #54
I disagree, globalism for extreme profit was what did America in Fumesucker Feb 2015 #55
What do you think globalism is? Joe Turner Feb 2015 #58
I think trade is a necessity, it's been going on for as long as we have been humans.. Fumesucker Feb 2015 #59
Trade is a necessity Joe Turner Feb 2015 #62
I grew up in Germany and it was my favorite show. tandot Feb 2015 #57
And that is the message to our son tandot Feb 2015 #60
What a beautiful post, Fumesucker. Fwiw, you are one of my favorite DUers. sabrina 1 Feb 2015 #61
Post removed Post removed Feb 2015 #64
Awesome post, Fumesucker. Enthusiast Feb 2015 #67
Well said. cwydro Feb 2015 #69
Beautiful Post! Paka Feb 2015 #71
In full agreement.... GTurck Feb 2015 #72
Thank You for Writing This Bmad1 Feb 2015 #73
I've Had To Hide Myself Away For Quite Some Time ChiciB1 Feb 2015 #74
Wow! Rosa Luxemburg Feb 2015 #75
Trying to type through tears, Fumesucker. catbyte Feb 2015 #76
The best of "Star Trek" was never about 'out there.' yallerdawg Feb 2015 #77
"illegitimati non carburundum" (VERY bastardized latin for "don't let the bastards grind niyad Feb 2015 #78
Me, too. LWolf Feb 2015 #79
Recommend... Zorra Feb 2015 #80
I understand. AverageJoe90 Feb 2015 #84
There have been times when I have had doubts that there would be a better future... 1monster Feb 2015 #85
Thank you, Fumesucker Hatchling Feb 2015 #86
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