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In reply to the discussion: If a woman is hitting me....I still won't hit her. [View all]moriah
(8,312 posts)I mean, it's true, that many man's a rake
But there's simply no excuse for a body slam
No one asks for it. -- Woman, I Am
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Maybe I'm a bad feminist, but the only advice I have to men who refuse to hit a woman is..... just don't let her break plates over your head or crap like that.
Yes, abusive women exist -- both emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive. But the best thing to do in that situation is exactly what advice we give battered women -- get the hell out of dodge. I'm not saying it's easy to do, logistically or emotionally. It took a firearm to get one person I know out, and many go back because they think they're still in love, or worse, that their abuser really loves them. No one deserves to be abused, man or woman.
But I'm not going to come down on a guy for refusing to hit back. I honestly wouldn't recommend anyone who is alone with their abuser to do so unless it's at the last defense of their life. It just makes things worse. And if the man who was hit by the woman and decided to just turn around and walk out really had a shiner like they would from a solid-landed punch, well, they'll at least have evidence to use when they're getting the restraining order. And since it's much harder for a man who is being abused by a woman to get taken seriously by the police, it could be very helpful physical evidence that could be misconstrued if he hit back and left similar marks on her -- who started the fight?
I would only resort to physical violence of any kind if I felt my life was in peril and either it was my only chance and I had no hope (final defense of life -- if I knew I was going to die I know I would not go down easily), or knew I had at least a decent chance of surviving by using it. Most times, unless you're sure you can get the upper hand, it's best for a person who has been abducted or the other situations other people threw at Trumad for saying he wouldn't deck a woman back to be passive and submissive until they see a chance to get that upper hand. No need to escalate a bad situation that you might get out of without fighting.
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