General Discussion

Old and In the Way

(37,540 posts)

181. Hi RQ....I have to admit something on this thread.

Mon Dec 23, 2013, 11:44 PM

Dec 2013

I, too, was sorta raped. My folks used to have really wild paries (hey, they survived WW2....wth!). Anyways, one night, one of my mother's drunk friends decided that she needed to "teach me how to be a man". For that, I'm thankful. Shit happens. Honest to god, it happened...but I'll probably be banned because I'm a male and this is counter to your reality. Anyways, we're all anonymous posters here and I'm sorry for your awful experience...but mine had a happy ending. Oh well.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

199 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Women of DU [View all] boston bean Dec 2013 OP

Men in their 50s shouldn't be ogling young teens on the beach. DanTex Dec 2013 #1

Understand this is from where our experiences bring us. boston bean Dec 2013 #3

No, I get it. I'm not offended by the "creep shaming" or whatever. DanTex Dec 2013 #11

. boston bean Dec 2013 #12

of course uppityperson Dec 2013 #2

yes, and I took action Skittles Dec 2013 #4

I've done that as well, and the retort is usually, "b*tch". boston bean Dec 2013 #5

I don't give a damn WHAT they call me Skittles Dec 2013 #7

Well, as an adult, their words don't bother me so much, but some have gotten very angry boston bean Dec 2013 #8

the problem is that some men can and do get violent when humiliated and rejected. geek tragedy Dec 2013 #43

Yes, starting at age 10 BainsBane Dec 2013 #6

It's happened to me many times. Texasgal Dec 2013 #9

I wonder what would have happened it you loudly asked him Matariki Dec 2013 #74

Too many times to count. xulamaude Dec 2013 #10

tell your mercuryblues Dec 2013 #53

I would tell them I was going to march down to the police station and report them BainsBane Dec 2013 #55

Report them for what? Although creepy, I don't think looking at someone, even an underage kelly1mm Dec 2013 #104

soliciting children for prostitution is a crime BainsBane Dec 2013 #113

That surely is and it is tragic that it happened to you. I thought the comment was about kelly1mm Dec 2013 #124

The comments have been about sexualizing underage girls and children BainsBane Dec 2013 #127

Sexualizing via looking/staring/oggling underage (or overage) women is a problem. It is not illegal. kelly1mm Dec 2013 #133

I was struck azmom Dec 2013 #193

A no good dirty rotten despicable post hootinholler Dec 2013 #13

This is probably the most offensive post anyone has ever written to me on DU boston bean Dec 2013 #14

If your parents weren't such religious fundies, you'd LOVE being objectified! redqueen Dec 2013 #22

OMFG, RQ, really! boston bean Dec 2013 #24

I wish I could be surprised. redqueen Dec 2013 #33

Hi RQ....I have to admit something on this thread. Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #181

Your post is FUCKING SICKENING. redqueen Dec 2013 #190

Why would you feel dirty? hootinholler Dec 2013 #25

You have fucking truly offended me to the core! boston bean Dec 2013 #26

I have apologized hootinholler Dec 2013 #28

So glad you are sorry I'm offended. boston bean Dec 2013 #31

You should stop digging. MerryBlooms Dec 2013 #59

Saying you are sorry someone is offended whopis01 Dec 2013 #198

You shouldn't give people such power lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #152

Obviously you have described yourself to a T. boston bean Dec 2013 #153

It's a better way to live. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #154

I'm not wasting my time with someone who doesn't take into consideration boston bean Dec 2013 #156

Okee dokee. lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #158

FWIW, I had a great day! Don't concern yourself with me. boston bean Dec 2013 #159

Thanks! One more visit to the hot celebrities thread and it's off to fix dinner! n/t lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #162

Cool, bro! nt boston bean Dec 2013 #163

It may not have been your intention but xulamaude Dec 2013 #29

Which part of what I said? hootinholler Dec 2013 #32

let's start with you not being qualified to tell other people why they feel what they feel. nt geek tragedy Dec 2013 #34

Yes that was inartfully put, obviously hootinholler Dec 2013 #46

Seriously? Telling men that they are "ogling"; because they want to make women feel... lumberjack_jeff Dec 2013 #157

Men ogle for any number of causes/reasons, some geek tragedy Dec 2013 #186

It's easy - just read what we have said in this thread. xulamaude Dec 2013 #36

Check out the plenty Feminism 101 resources on the net. NT KitSileya Dec 2013 #39

Let me try. redqueen Dec 2013 #40

Thanks! hootinholler Dec 2013 #50

I get where you're going with that... redqueen Dec 2013 #62

No I didn't mean to go that far hootinholler Dec 2013 #71

Old men oogling Texasgal Dec 2013 #44

Yes but it's the old man who is dirty n/t hootinholler Dec 2013 #51

It's none of your business Texasgal Dec 2013 #54

That was not my intent hootinholler Dec 2013 #63

This thread was not asking Texasgal Dec 2013 #66

That's an excellent question. nt xulamaude Dec 2013 #80

his intent was to belittle the woman's feelings. one has to ask why he felt the need. bettyellen Dec 2013 #117

No it wasn't at all hootinholler Dec 2013 #143

I can accept that. boston bean Dec 2013 #149

Thank you!! hootinholler Dec 2013 #151

I'll accept that. Texasgal Dec 2013 #150

Thank you hootinholler Dec 2013 #161

Merry Xmas. 840high Dec 2013 #173

learn from this one thing, it is different if you are a man. you haven't had people rub off on you bettyellen Dec 2013 #164

I have actually, but not to the degree that a woman would. hootinholler Dec 2013 #167

multiply it by 20 and you'll know what we have heard from friends, and then that bettyellen Dec 2013 #170

"your upbringing made you feel dirty" xulamaude Dec 2013 #17

Thank you. hootinholler Dec 2013 #35

You will please not thank me when I am obviously xulamaude Dec 2013 #42

Wow theHandpuppet Dec 2013 #18

LOL Skittles Dec 2013 #19

Where did I defend his behavior? n/t hootinholler Dec 2013 #30

You put the onus of the shame on the victim BainsBane Dec 2013 #64

Give it up. RC Dec 2013 #69

they? them? Skittles Dec 2013 #126

Nice victim blaming. Very revealing. nt geek tragedy Dec 2013 #20

Really, how much do you think children are supposed to overcome? BainsBane Dec 2013 #21

What? Texasgal Dec 2013 #27

Whoa! graywarrior Dec 2013 #38

I know, that really wasn't what I intended n/t hootinholler Dec 2013 #56

Well, that response is fucked up beyond belief. n/t demmiblue Dec 2013 #60

that was repulsive, which is a long way from "unartful". bettyellen Dec 2013 #76

oh my... Whisp Dec 2013 #122

I agree, who wrote that? hootinholler Dec 2013 #148

Yeh, I'm guilty of that too. Whisp Dec 2013 #165

I believe Warren Montangue is responisble for this. Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #179

he's a legend in your own mind, and probably the foot in your…. bettyellen Dec 2013 #187

You were right on your first post. Old and In the Way Dec 2013 #184

Too many times to count. redqueen Dec 2013 #15

That has been my experience etherealtruth Dec 2013 #48

Ugh. How sad. redqueen Dec 2013 #58

Miss it? OMFG Matariki Dec 2013 #84

IKR? redqueen Dec 2013 #116

My mom is on DU?! xulamaude Dec 2013 #129

! redqueen Dec 2013 #132

the people saying it are clearly NOT women etherealtruth Dec 2013 #131

Oh, definitely. KitSileya Dec 2013 #16

ditto ditto ditto laundry_queen Dec 2013 #41

Recently on the bus I watched a middle aged man, 45 or so, openly stare at a young pretty woman. CrispyQ Dec 2013 #23

From the time I was 11 years old. MadrasT Dec 2013 #37

We ALL have! Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #45

At least uncomfortable on occasion yes - TBF Dec 2013 #47

Honestly, no. Butterbean Dec 2013 #49

when i was 14 mercuryblues Dec 2013 #52

+1 Matariki Dec 2013 #92

Your last paragraph nails it. whopis01 Dec 2013 #199

I doubt any man on this forum thinks that behavior is ok. n-t Logical Dec 2013 #57

some 'men' have suggested that women wear burkas if they don't like being stared at. geek tragedy Dec 2013 #89

Wow, that is terrible. n-t Logical Dec 2013 #112

the hits keep on coming geek tragedy Dec 2013 #120

Of course. a la izquierda Dec 2013 #61

"He was in his fifties, and not an ugly man, physically." WorseBeforeBetter Dec 2013 #65

It's okay then BainsBane Dec 2013 #70

Don't put words in my mouth. WorseBeforeBetter Dec 2013 #73

Then perhaps you should read a thread BainsBane Dec 2013 #81

So many on DU? kcr Dec 2013 #86

thank you. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #108

I said that because people have said that women are only uncomfortable if ugly men boston bean Dec 2013 #95

Yeah mercuryblues Dec 2013 #166

Yes, it's happened to me. LumosMaxima Dec 2013 #67

I understand that mercuryblues Dec 2013 #175

yes, i am sure it happens to all of us Liberal_in_LA Dec 2013 #68

Jezus fuck yes. Matariki Dec 2013 #72

And sometimes it happens in an instant. Mister Ed Dec 2013 #75

I see a lot of anger from men who got the same look that you did, now directed at women…. bettyellen Dec 2013 #109

Yes. LWolf Dec 2013 #77

Women ogle other women's breast as much as men NoOneMan Dec 2013 #78

Nope. LWolf Dec 2013 #85

And since you are a representative sample of all women... NoOneMan Dec 2013 #99

That's one well-used way to LWolf Dec 2013 #191

I learn from the best NoOneMan Dec 2013 #192

Are you a DU woman? xulamaude Dec 2013 #87

The title of this thread is not "Du men, post your dishonest excuses for ogling women" nt geek tragedy Dec 2013 #91

Sounds like a call-out NoOneMan Dec 2013 #97

No, just an accurate statement, unlike your 'contribution' nt geek tragedy Dec 2013 #101

No, they don't BainsBane Dec 2013 #94

Eyetrack study captures men’s — and women’s — objectifying gazes NoOneMan Dec 2013 #96

Because looking and ogling aren't the same thing BainsBane Dec 2013 #100

Yep. The distinction can be quite subjective NoOneMan Dec 2013 #102

They were looking at a picture. boston bean Dec 2013 #107

"human beings know when they are being leered at" NoOneMan Dec 2013 #111

So, people who experience this are just a bunch of liars. got it. boston bean Dec 2013 #119

No. I didn't say you are lying about your perceptions of reality NoOneMan Dec 2013 #123

So, this shit doesn't happen, it's just a perception. ok. boston bean Dec 2013 #125

If that's what you want to believe, go have a crack at it NoOneMan Dec 2013 #134

I live in a world where I understand this shit is real and happens. boston bean Dec 2013 #135

I wish you the best luck in getting yourself to a healthier and better place NoOneMan Dec 2013 #138

It is you who needs your wishes. boston bean Dec 2013 #142

It seems increasingly clear that the healthier and better 'place' xulamaude Dec 2013 #147

wow mercuryblues Dec 2013 #177

Write the researches a mean, nasty letter NoOneMan Dec 2013 #180

you'd better mercuryblues Dec 2013 #185

Well, since it's established that you falsified the findings BainsBane Dec 2013 #121

Its been established that women spend as much time staring at breasts as men NoOneMan Dec 2013 #130

I don't find women staring at my breasts. They might do so in a picture, but in real life boston bean Dec 2013 #136

The study speaks for itself NoOneMan Dec 2013 #140

I don't feel left out. no need to feel sorry for me. boston bean Dec 2013 #146

"wanted objectifying gaze" Matariki Dec 2013 #139

That's just my sense of humor talking there NoOneMan Dec 2013 #141

Your transparency page is pretty funny too! Matariki Dec 2013 #144

You just LIED about the study you're citing. They did not conclude it was ogling. geek tragedy Dec 2013 #103

No, the beholdees here are classifying one stare from another as ogling NoOneMan Dec 2013 #106

I'm sure all the women here greatly appreciate you men's rights types explaining what women geek tragedy Dec 2013 #110

Do men rights type passively dismiss any woman's posts as rad fem talking points? NoOneMan Dec 2013 #115

Yes, I have, and I handled it. ohheckyeah Dec 2013 #79

Of course ismnotwasm Dec 2013 #82

Old women make me feel uncomfortable all the time Harmony Blue Dec 2013 #83

Are you a DU woman? xulamaude Dec 2013 #90

This is the interneet Harmony Blue Dec 2013 #98

I can usually tell the difference. nt xulamaude Dec 2013 #105

I wish I had your skills Harmony Blue Dec 2013 #118

Threads like this are a fantastic reminder... Demo_Chris Dec 2013 #88

I don't know if it's been touched on in this thread justiceischeap Dec 2013 #172

Yep PasadenaTrudy Dec 2013 #93

Creeped out mostly by but certainly not exclusive by older men many, many times. Whisp Dec 2013 #114

I don't think anything in that first paragraph is okay hfojvt Dec 2013 #183

very common on the subways, as was copping a feel, ugh yikes. bettyellen Dec 2013 #128

Speaking as a guy in his fifties I wonder if this guy had a daughter or at least a niece or two. Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin Dec 2013 #137

He probably had similar thoughts about them too. nt geek tragedy Dec 2013 #145

At least two notable times. Starry Messenger Dec 2013 #155

I am struck by how it starts at the same age for most who are talking about it Ms. Toad Dec 2013 #160

At the time of puberty? MadrasT Dec 2013 #169

The only age I've seen mentioned is 11 - Ms. Toad Dec 2013 #171

As a man, I feel creeped out by bulge hunting women who stare at my "package". panader0 Dec 2013 #168

The title sounded like it was advertising a calendar. BKH70041 Dec 2013 #174

I think you should put your flame suit on Harmony Blue Dec 2013 #176

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #178

Only a certain kind of man is whining about geek tragedy Dec 2013 #189

Glad that was hidden. Can't believe this one was allowed to stand redqueen Dec 2013 #194

Telling that juries getting 1/2 right is a relief. geek tragedy Dec 2013 #196

It was unanimous. Results below: MineralMan Dec 2013 #197

Overreaction score to today's topic: 6.0 Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #182

Yes. Solly Mack Dec 2013 #188

I'm in my 50's now azmom Dec 2013 #195