“If results don’t matter, who cares who we bomb?” [View all]

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Last edited Mon Sep 2, 2013, 07:43 PM - Edit history (1)

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a senior fellow at the Capital Management Foundation - a think tank consisting of former government officials and corporate leaders throughout the banking and defense industries - told us of their trepidation regarding the bombing of Syria and the NSA spying.

“We like the idea of getting involved a war, any war, but we don’t like the questions being asked by some people in the public and the media. Not to mention those in Congress. ‘Who are we helping?’ 'What’s the purpose of the bombing?’ ‘Wouldn’t other methods like peace talks, sanctions and the freezing of assets be smarter and cheaper?’ What kind of BS is that, I ask you?”

Walking through the halls of the Capital Management Foundation, one gets the feeling that, here the real levers of power are being manipulated. “See, we have a tried and true method for military actions. We focus on a terrible tragedy real or fictional, but real is better of course, get people emotionally outraged, then tie that emotion to a military action. Critical thinking stops and we now have support for what we wanted to do. Works every time. And even if we don’t have big numbers, there’s about a thirty percent jump in approval numbers once we’re in.” Taking a break from the conversation, our source signed two considerably large checks. One to the House Republicans and one to the House Democrats. ‘Have our guys divvy this up accordingly,’ he whispered to an associate.

“Now, where were we? Oh yes, you see we have the tragedy, but now we’re getting questions. Too many questions. We already spent the profits of this campaign, so to speak, so we need a target, soon. We can do this anywhere, doesn’t have to be Syria. My idea is to find another outrage in the region and bomb there. But, just between you and me, I’m getting push-back. ‘Just use the NSA information,’ they say. ‘What’s the point on spying on everyone all the time if we don’t use it? Well, except for drugs, and taxes, and stopping protests, and feeding Chevron data, and the rest. Why not blackmail?’ Of course I think we should use the NSA data for blackmail. That’s a given, but I think we can find a better target. If results don’t matter, who cares who we bomb? But, they always tease me for being the eternal optimist. I know it sounds trite, but I really care about our money. I really do.”

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