Are You Monogamish?

[Heddi]

38. I think it's a conversation that people should have

we're all adults.

We're pro GBLT rights.

I'm the B in GBLT. I happen to be married to a man. Big deal. That doesn't mean that I stopped liking the Vajin once I said my vows.

My husband and I do what makes us happy.

I've been told that being bisexual is being emotionally and sexually immature. THat being monogamish is being sexually and emotionally immature and insecure. WHAT? Insecure? I can tell you that you have to be pretty fucking secure in your marriage/relationship to be okay to see your wife or husband go down on another person. And make the faces they normally make with you. Or have something done and see a face that you've never been able to make them make, or a sound that you've never heard come from their gullet.

My husband and I have been togther for 16 years on Monday, married for 13 (Dating & wedding anniversary same date!). WE've never broken up, never split up.

We've only welcomed others to our bed since around 2010....pretty long into our relationship. And we're okay. It works for us. It doesn't work for everyone, but that's okay, too. As long as people are happy, and fulfilled, and doing what feels good to them, who am I to judge?

I have found that the people that give me the ugh ew nasty response when they find out about what we do are generally unhappy in their marriage, probably on their 2nd or 3rd, or have had a series of failed relationships. Maybe their ugh ew nasty is their internal response to their lackluster sex life and interpersonal relationship with others.

Because to me, the most Ugh Ew Nasty thing in life is to go through it unhappy, unfulfilled, and having no sense of entitlement to your own fantasies and wishes and living what is basically an unconsentual life.

fuck that.