General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Do sexual assault victims have an obligation to resist/protest? [View all]"No" does not mean "try harder."
I am very much a sexual creature, but I have never, ever said "no" when I meant "yes." If I say "no" and you want to talk about it, fine. I may, or I may not. I may change my mind at some point, but don't count on it.
A couple of times I've said "yes" and thought the better of it, then said "no" before things got out of hand. That was the end of the matter.
My mom, of a different generation, was all about the "hard to get" game. I never understood that. She was horrified by my forthrightness about sexual matters. But I never saw any point in being coy. I think those behaviors and ambiguities lead ultimately to muddy waters, and unintended outcomes.
When I was raped (see post 30), I knew it. I also knew that I could never call it out for what it was, for all the reasons I said in the post.