Being happy with what you have and where you are is okay, too. [View all]

[X_Digger]

When I was a teenager, my friends talked about what they wanted to do / be. Things like being an engineer, a dental hygienist, a teacher, an electrician, or a computer programmer. Sure there were a few who aimed quite high- doctor and lawyer and such.

But you know what I've found? Twenty years on, a majority of those who had realistic expectations are happier than those who aimed ridiculously high. Sure, a fraction of the fraction who "aimed for the stars" even achieved their goals. Most didn't.

When I talk to those who achieved their high goals, I hear a lot of complaining- mostly about how much work it is to maintain. Crazy work hours, tons of student debt, broken marriages (or no social life at all)- all seem to be common.

It seems like we've embraced a culture of "everybody is special" to the absurd extreme that fewer people are happy being ordinary. And by "ordinary" I don't mean not successful; I mean not an entrepreneur, not a director of something-or-other, not a senior partner.

Now couple that with the concomitant rise of the "stuff means success" mentality and you've got an alchemical admixture sure to cause grief. Houses you don't need and can't afford, astounding credit card debt that will never get paid off, new car(s) every three years, or a new kitchen / bath / media room / home theater- it's a never ending source of post-consumer waste, untenable debt, worry, and unhappiness.

The political result of those attitudes, though, is even worse. Look at how the right is focused on gaining and protecting personal wealth. Cut taxes, remove regulation on business, break unions which increases corporate profit and therefore dividends, and open the floodgates to H1B visa holders.

My self-worth is not wrapped up in how much stuff I have, my title at work, or how much I've given to my favorite causes. My happiness doesn't depend on bragging rights. If I have the time and ability to do the things I enjoy and value, and appreciate the people I find myself surrounded by (either physically or virtually), I'm happy.

And, really, here's the point- that's okay. Why let others decide for you if you should be happy or not. If you enjoy the fact that your job as loan officer at a local bank branch gives you the time to see all your kid's soccer games, more power to you. The world needs loan officers, too. If you're able to have activities that you can immerse yourself in, and enjoy the people around you, who cares what anyone else is doing with their time and money.