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In reply to the discussion: This message was self-deleted by its author [View all]99Forever
(14,524 posts)49. Thanks for your permission.
But then since I'd already done that....
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274 replies
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“Most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic prospect while most women fear
Nye Bevan
Jan 2013
#1
i never thought to share with the men and boys in my life, our different perspectives.
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#3
I wonder if nice guys have any idea how badly some men take rejection... because I've never
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#98
+1. all men don't benefit from rape, & all whites don't benefit from racism. southern whites,
HiPointDem
Jan 2013
#241
why is it so easy for us white women to acknowledge and see the privilege and not feel
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#157
" Because we see it in male privilege is my guess, allowing us a two way view and also
whathehell
Jan 2013
#244
for example, a parent of a daughter indirectly benefits from real world dangers to girls
BlancheSplanchnik
Jan 2013
#99
exactly! it reinforces the gender roles.. and parents do find it useful- expecting daughters to be
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#142
thanks 1StrongBlackMan--I was having a lot of trouble articulating my thoughts there!
BlancheSplanchnik
Jan 2013
#147
it's not that you want or personally enjoy the "benefit" yourself. but that society as it is now,
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#100
wow is right or more... odd. i do not think i have ever heard it be argued that the oppressor
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#215
it does benefit all men. and no, i do not mind my boys understanding this concept. i am proud that
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#26
All men benefitting from something doesn't mean all men want to benefit from it
gollygee
Jan 2013
#29
I never realized when I'm worrying about my daughter when she's out with her friends
Nye Bevan
Jan 2013
#30
It isn't the best place for denying the existence of privilege, that's correct
gollygee
Jan 2013
#31
you make me sad nye. i do not get why some men are struggling so hard to hold onto something
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#37
I am possibly the least racist person in the world. But I still benefit from racism.
ieoeja
Jan 2013
#53
excellent. mroe good stuff. i like... lol. you are good. this isnt about them vs us. us vs them
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#79
I've met men and women who hew to that assumption, but avoid them because I know it's unrealistic.
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#135
every man benefits from the control and domination regardless of how opposed they are to it.
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#34
have you looked at any issue as a whole (macro), seen how it effected you as an individual (micro)
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#52
read his reply. he is taking it that it means all men condone rape. have ownership of rape.
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#65
ha ha. i got sooo fed up with guys asking to put their feelings first that over the course of 2-3
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#205
I think it's a mistake women are making trying to assuage Mr Nye because they feel he bears no guilt
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#114
or the poster clearly understands what was being said but has a personal beef and is using
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#117
and that happens too frequently here too.... wanted to share an interesting blog with you
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#125
I think you'll love CaptA's voice as I do, some cool memes in there. Great comments too.
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#131
there's some great advice in there, and she moderates enough to remove the vast majority
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#139
glad you liked it! some amazing voices there.... I give her credit for moderating well.
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#213
Yep- an OP that we can all unite around, then a few posts later we get "all men benefit from rape".
Nye Bevan
Jan 2013
#22
is there some sort of limit on how much discussion can be had of such an important topic?
niyad
Jan 2013
#23
I don't get this "i'm personally offended and want to limit discussion" attitude.
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#111
i feel like it hits a little close to home. to hard to consider what it would be like w/out the
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#220
And this is why the word "feminism" is a toxic label that most women run from
LittleBlue
Jan 2013
#148
"They can't really explain how rape benefits all men". except there are a number of examples and
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#151
OK, so I benefit from rape because its existence gives me more control over my daughters.
Nye Bevan
Jan 2013
#38
You're not aware that a lot of families like controlling their daughters? Seriously?
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#115
post 56 is very clear on an example. and there are others in this thread that give a clear example.
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#66
your interpretation of what the OP is saying is incorrect. i gave you an example
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#80
Assigning blame and observing benefit are two wholly and separate concepts.
LanternWaste
Jan 2013
#126
no, but I've noticed a lot of men do, LOL. something of a phenomena! and we agree on this:
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#201
k and r--thank you for this excellent post. susan brownmiller said it pretty clearly in her book
niyad
Jan 2013
#7
OMFG! HOW is that story not a NATIONAL OUTRAGE? (rhetorical, it is due to rape culture of course)
redqueen
Jan 2013
#107
Thank you for that. I am so tired of having to live the life you have described so eloquently.
smirkymonkey
Jan 2013
#274
Rape is not about sex, it is about power and control. This needs to be understood in order for any
teewrex
Jan 2013
#13
I missed the man bashing. Can you point it out for me? Because I just don't see it. n/t
ieoeja
Jan 2013
#58
Privilege in action- assuming we give a fuck about what threads you trash, LOL.
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#154
Arrogance is coming in to piss on a conversation and add nothing. Look in the mirror dude.
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#194
I don't think the OP made the case it set out to make: that ALL MEN benefit from rape. How? nt
Romulox
Jan 2013
#32
I follow the general concept, but I think you need to make the specific connection.
Romulox
Jan 2013
#41
The OP's premise is that having a culture where women can be made to fear being raped ...
LisaLynne
Jan 2013
#43
That's the part I think is hard to follow. Specifically, I don't think the case has been made. nt
Romulox
Jan 2013
#45
The argument in the OP is that I, personally, passively benefit from "rape culture".
Romulox
Jan 2013
#95
the recurring mistake is thinking it's always either/ or... the dangerous person in the parking lot
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#144
another subtle benefit- you are not going to get any nasty condescending attitude , labeled
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#156
trying to pull it up without going back to the thread... DAMAGED personalities.
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#158
you're not going to see all this condescending snark aimed at W Pitt... just like there is so little
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#168
very clear, precise example. thank you for sharing this. and thank you for adding the ironic.
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#57
she clearly stated it left her at a professional disadvantage. how dare you negate everything she
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#106
It is difficult to defend the idea that being sent to a combat zone is a professional advantage. nt
lumberjack_jeff
Jan 2013
#188
not really, she stated it quite succinctly. lots of women would LOVE to serve, your feelings
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#190
Don't get me wrong. I support equality, therefore I support women in combat.
lumberjack_jeff
Jan 2013
#208
i don't understand why anyone would want to go to combat, but people do, god help them.
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#211
I've been thinking about how the Female Experience is SO alien to Males:
BlancheSplanchnik
Jan 2013
#108
Believe it or not there are women (like me) who never think about rape.
Waiting For Everyman
Jan 2013
#145
you were raped and choose not to think or talk about it? do you think this is a good thing?
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#160
My point is that what the "patriarchy" gets out of this as a benefit
Waiting For Everyman
Jan 2013
#173
I disagree because, it's only working collectively that will end the benefits of patriarchy...
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#176
what does the very exceptional case of a super wealthy woman have to do with the majority? Nothing.
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#181
i wonder how we ignore the issue in india with a shrug... blaming and confining women to avoid rape
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#183
You have no entitlement to expect interest where you think it should be.
Waiting For Everyman
Jan 2013
#185
we have a world of people that shrug away injustices. i get that. i dont accept it though. i will
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#187
you can't put old hands on young shoulders. and with this narrow world view, I'd say that's what we
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#197
If you are blind to the RL demographics about poverty, it's on you. IF that's truly your thing.
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#196
Some can't imagine reality being different from what they are willing to accept
Major Nikon
Jan 2013
#231
i understand the tough girl attitude to a large extent, they don't "need" feminism, it does't serve
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#186
It might be, but the systems that maintain it are still in place -- courts, police, ALEC, etc.
ancianita
Jan 2013
#254
I don't know, even though I fought off a biker rapist at 15, I didn't think about it for another 15
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#171
it is part of the it "can't happen to me syndrome" - a refusal to identify with someone who was
bettyellen
Jan 2013
#227
I have a somewhat contrary point of view, all men are damaged by rape as well.
Uncle Joe
Jan 2013
#161
and then... you have this. the next step. i LOVE it. thanks. and so very in your face, true.
seabeyond
Jan 2013
#165
I also think that the early sexualization of girls is part of this too.
werknotgoin2takeit
Jan 2013
#230
Gotta run but have to take a minute to kick this! Thanks seabeyond! nt
riderinthestorm
Jan 2013
#163
ok, guys, I get why you fear me. I am a woman, and I can see right through you.
toby jo
Jan 2013
#217
FINALLY. SOMEONE brings up the complicity of men who won't rape but want to maintain power.
ancianita
Jan 2013
#252