General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: OK, DUers- I need advice, and this is not a political post [View all]Jirel
(2,018 posts)dont let them move in. Period. I have never seen this go well for a family member or friends of a drug addict who hasnt already turned the corner themselves to fight like a cornered badger to stop the addiction and get their life in order, and I dont mean just checking into a rehab program. The behavior you are describing WILL happen in your home, and it will be twice as difficult to kick them out, assuming your home doesnt burn down, making it a moot point.
See what happens after theyre out of treatment. I have had so many clients whove done treatment, who come out temporarily clean but every addictive, manipulative behavior continues, lying to everyone around them and especially to themselves. Theres always a reason their problems are someone elses fault, and always a reason that the next drug binge was just a 1-time thing and there was a good reason. The folks who have succeeded generally have done so after multiple rounds of treatment, but they have genuinely become disgusted with how their lives have been going, and they stopped BSing about it. Theyre some of the best folks around at that point, but its a long journey getting there, and there are lots of people who meant well and tried to help them but got burned scattered on the road behind them.
Al-Anon is a good resource IF theyre already committed to turning their lives around. The problem is, as long as drug abusers are not ready to change their lives, nothing you do will make a difference.
If you want to help, do so at a comfortable distance. Help get social service aid. Offer rides. Have them over for dinner and happy conversation. Help with moves, or getting some starter furniture in their new place - but its got to be THEIR place for which they take responsibility. Be their friend, not a surrogate parent. Dont be a money well for them.