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Profile Information

Gender: Do not display
Hometown: Kansas
Home country: USA
Current location: Kansas
Member since: Mon Dec 14, 2020, 10:27 AM
Number of posts: 1,576

About Me

Bleeding heart liberal, in the mold of FDR, and damned proud of it! Retired, still doing web work and teaching. Still rescuing animals and finding, as well as giving, them warm, loving homes. My personal belief: all alive are precious; everything living on earth forms an interconnected network - much like a neural network. Most of us have forgotten, or never learned, how to tap into it. Of course, there are those that totally ignore the interconnectedness. Mostly Republicans/Libertarians (YMMV)

Journal Archives

I'm so frustrated, I'm nearly in tears...

For months now, I've been worried sick about the damnable debt ceiling and whether or not we'd have a social security check come June, and for how long we'd be without one. My "retirement money" went towards buying a house outright so we'd at least have four walls and a roof over our heads and not be homeless during our elder years. But we have cats, a dog, and ourselves to feed and the usual multitude of medications now that we're both old to pay for and worry about. On top of that, hubby has had four (mild) heart attacks, I have fibromyalgia, lupus, and severe back problems. We also work with my sister to support our mother who's in a memory care home. Rather than a nice, calm retirement... thanks to Trump and the damned magats (who've been in power since my retirement), it's been anything but calm and peaceful.

I've seen every bit of progress I fought for in my youth for women, young people, and minorities stripped from us in the last few years and hate grow by leaps and bounds. When I was 18 and sought to become a preacher, I was laughed out of the Baptist church where I'd made my inquiries because I was female, although I had a strong background and foundation of religious education. Knowing what I wanted to do in my heart, and not being driven by money (as in, not being concerned with that being my "career path," I started studying different world religions until I found one that fit my internal belief system and soon became initiated into the Craft of the Wise (Wicca). I was about 20 at the time. Today, close to 50 years later, I'm seeing shades of the old Satanic Panic days beginning to rise once again, as well.

Over the last few days, it looked like a debt ceiling resolution was going to be accomplished without demolishing our economy and the world's economic foundations. I actually had the temerity to breathe a sigh of relief and start to make plans to take my car in for a checkup and an overhaul it has 236k miles on it). Also to make plans for material to expand the outside catio. And what do I see a few minutes ago? Kevin McCarthy once again talking commission about cutting Social Security and Medicare. Social Security needs to be increased per month for most of us, not cut. Most of us do not get SNAP or any other benefits; we make do with budgeting on just our SS checks. The COLA isn't figured correctly for the elderly. Our needs and how our money gets spent is different from other age groups, and yet our COLA is figured as though we're 35 years old and our buying habits are the same as a middle ager. We often are care givers for our even older parents and yet are not recognized or helped with that, and many (if not most) of us are trapped in Red States that have stripped what little state aid there was for elder care of any kind. Note: I live in Brownbackistan and it's like night and day here after they came to power. I figure it's much the same in the other states where the R's took over. The care programs and $$$ available dried up and went to the rich and powerful instead of to the elderly and caregivers where it was needed. Now McCarthy is making noises about stripping away even more money that we paid into our retirement insurance accounts all our lives. These are Entitlement Accounts with a capital letters. They are not dirty labels, as the R's make them out to be.

They are Entitlement Accounts because it is OUR money because we worked and paid into the accounts with our own earned income. I realize that "Earned Income" is probably a mysterious concept to most Republicans. They make most of their money in unearned income, which is taxed less (and is absolutely backwards in taxation, AFAIC). Republicans also consider it to be "dirty money" because it is "social money"... it isn't put into an account under your own singular name to draw from, like an IRA. And, while they've stolen from that pot of money for themselves quite generously through the years, they've never paid back the IOU's, and never even mentioned the IOU's exist. And Lord knows, they won't do what needs to be done to correct the IOU issue... which is to raise the income cap.

And so I sit here nearly in tears at the frustration of it all. They won't be satisfied until they once again see the elderly homeless on the streets or starving once again. I remember those days... it wasn't that long ago. My parent's generation is the only generation that hasn't had to worry (much) about Social Security being there. My generation got scammed with Medicare Advantage. But at least there's being some eyes turned towards that scam now. But is it going to take a resurgence of the Grey Panthers to fight McCarthy and the R's on Social Security cuts and to try to get the cap raised? Why aren't the younger generations fighting mad about this? Is it because they're acquiescing on this issue because so much else is wrong with the U.S.? Or because it's so far in their future they feel it just doesn't affect them?

I actually am, literally, sick and tired of all this bullcrap. I've worked in paid employment since I was 13 years old. I'm 67 now. I was forced into retirement at 62 because of disability. Rather than swallow a handful or two of pills and shake off this mortal coil of pain and disillusionment, I'd like to spend what years I have left in some form of peace and love with the friends I have left here on this plane of existence. Right now, we're all worried about how we're going to eat and afford our medication for our chronic illnesses, and how we're going to feed all our cats (no jokes, please!). Life, especially at this age, should not be reduced to this. I would say "This isn't fair"... but it just brings up the old "Life isn't fair" adage my dad drummed into me from a very early age. But really, when you've lived your life ethically, legally, and morally correct to the best of your ability all your life and you've done your best to help those around you when they've needed help, regardless of your own circumstances, neither you nor anyone else your age should have to worry about what tomorrow will bring because of a political party of Deatheaters.

I don't know what the answer is... at least, not that anyone would listen to, anyway. The easy answer is to raise the damned income cap on Social Security. It is now and always has been set too low, especially when you consider SS is available for everyone who meets the minimum work requirements. And the higher your earnings the higher your SS check. But god help us if we tax the rich equitably. I guess the damned sky would fall in or something...

So excuse the rant and ravings of an old woman. I know I have it better than many others, and I am grateful to be as blessed as I am. But no one should be reduced to fearing for their next meal, no matter what their age; and no one should be scared of losing their house or their medical care, especially when their memory is failing and they have trouble reasoning things out as they once did.

Under the best of circumstances, old age is not for the feint of heart.

I'm at my wit's end this week.

It's been up and down with temps and rain, and I know that's the main thing that brings on my fibromyalgia pain. But I've never had it this bad before. Imagine breaking your bone, and that's what my joints feel like. Earlier this week, it was every main joint in my body, both sides. I've managed to hang in there and it's down to being one side of my body screaming at me the most now... my right. It's so bad, I even googled to make sure I wasn't missing something important, like a stroke or something.

I'm not in a pot-ok state, and my hydrocodone meds weren't even taking the edge off this. Besides, I'm close enough to the "end of the month" that I'm afraid I'll have more month than pills at this point. I did take a sneak over to the state next to me and found a salve that I thought was the answer to all my prayers.

Within minutes of applying it to any hot spot that hot spot was hot no more... as long as it was a hot spot of pain caused by sciatica, scoliosis, or osteoarthritis. It even managed to kill the minor fibro pain. But even it can't keep up with the stuff going on right now. I'm a believer, and before this hit, was advocating for getting it legalized here. Legalization should be one of those no-question "duh" responses from anyone, especially after what I experienced. Keeping it illegal is keeping people in pain when they could be living lives without pain... and without any effects of smoking it. Gods... people can be so cruel by being so damned self-righteous.

Pain scales don't take into account this level of pain I have right now, and I have nothing in my repertoire to counteract it. I'm reaching out to anyone here on DU with chronic physical pain, no matter the reason, for help. The only thing else I've been doing is knocking myself out with tylenol PM to try to stay unconscious as much as possible. I'm not asking for expert help... but I know all of us chronic pain sufferers have our "tricks and ways" we use to try to beat back the worst of it. I'm just up against the point where I've been through everything in my book... and reaching out to try anything else. We have more rain coming in tonight.
Thank you...

So often, when we post here,

it's either a picture of a new family member or one we've rescued. And yes... I am SO jealous of you who can post pics. I just can't seem to make it work for me!

The other reason, unfortunately, is to mourn a family member who has passed. I thought that's what I'd be doing this weekend, and to say I was panicking, heartsick, and at wit's end is to state an understatement.

I have a very tiny cat I rescued from a kill pound 20 years ago. She's a Japanese Bobtail (not a Manx). She's four pounds of spit and thunder with a puffball. While you can never put a price on such things, with her convoluted colon, we've spent thousands keeping her healthy and her colon flowing freely. And every penny, even those we scraped together, were given gratefully to the talented vet we'd been with for years. Izzie was that special to us.

Don't get me wrong, all my babies are special to me. Last year at this time, I lost 2 who were over 20 (one was 23) and another to a diabetic crisis in space of 3 months. I thought they were going to have to help ME over the Rainbow Bridge. Especially because of the one I lost to diabetes.

But when I had my hip replaced and was working from home, Izzie spent 8 hours a day laying across my arms while I worked on the computer. Then she led me to bed to lay down. When I worked the stairs during rehab, she was right there with me for every step.

The last two weeks, she's changed from being with us in the Family Room to staying exclusively on my bed. This past Monday, she didn't wake up when I did. I admit I poked her hard until she raised her head quite disgustedly at me. I should say she is now deaf as a post. Day before yesterday she sat herself in front of my shower while I was in there. She's never done anything like that... EVER before. I just knew I was on the last days with her, and was so heartbroken. But the day before, when she had gone into a coughing fit, I made an emergency appt with the vet here that I trust in this little town, and they fit me the next day.

We ran blood labs and x-rays. Izzie's got thyroid problems we're treating and the treatment is going well. Her lab numbers, even for her kidneys are great, I'm happy to say. She was a little dehydrated, so they gave her intravenous fluids, and then I told them to take her back for X-rays. It means I'm going to be scrimping a bit for a while, but the peace of mind they gave me made up for it. They showed NO masses anywhere in her little body. Her lungs are good, no masses in her stomach, and even her colon is good (which my hubby was thrilled with!). We're thinking now her coughing fit might have been either because of the dry heated winter air in the house (especially my bedroom), or even the fur from the other cats. There are at least 6 who sleep each night on the bed.

So... instead of writing an "in memoriam"... I'm writing a "Hallelujah! Bast be praised!" This little black puff ball cat that stole our hearts is not ready to give up yet, even at the ripe old Queen's age of 20, and her Mama ain't ready to give up on her, either. She's spoiled rotten, and will continue to be so for as long as she'll let me. Besides, she spent all last night curled in my arms around my neck while we both slept. How much more peace can there be at night for one person? To love and know you're loved just as much in return.

I only wish I could post a pic. (sigh)

Thank you for the heart!

I had a horrible mental and physical day yesterday... and seeing a "private message" waiting for me, all I could think of was I really screwed up bad.

Seeing someone gave me a heart sent a warm feeling of love and acceptance. Thank you for putting up with me through all the good... and bad... days. It means so much to me!

Watch Out

Due to a disability, I took early retirement 2 years ago. Dying of boredom, I decided to look for something I could do remote that didn't involve telemarketing. I've got 40 years experience in the IT field and Administration strongly interspersed between all that. The Admin is what I was stressing on Career Builder, as I didn't want to deal with the stress of IT.

You can probably guess what kind of notifications I got -- basically all IT based. However, there were a few Admin based. Followed up on a few of those and a couple looked really good. Interviewed with one, and an offer letter followed, which I accepted. Sounds good, right?

Turned out it was a scam. I'm so disheartened and depressed now I wish I never started this hunt.

When this first began, I checked things out via the BBB, did research via Google on career hunter scams, etc., and pulled up nothing. But my personal hackles got raised by some things that were said yesterday, and I went back online and did a search on this specific company with the word "scam" following it. That led me to a Facebook page and another couple of pages with information that matched exactly what had raised my curiosity. Finally, it led me to a page with a message from the company, itself, stating that people had been purportedly representing the company offering jobs and they were *not* with the company. That only by filling out an application on their website would you be considered for a position (which, btw, I consider to be very spoof-able).

Luckily, I "caught" this scam before they scammed me out of any money. They wanted me to send $350 for a piece of time tracking software. But I didn't find out before filling out a W-4, and I'm not sure how to protect myself against this. I'm open to suggestions. I'm also open to how to safely hunt for a job in this deadly age we're living in today.

Thanks... Sandy

My baby is growing up!

I'm still having trouble having pix showing up automatically. I've got pix posted over at imgur. grabbed the link, and wanted to show you.

Luna is now 3-1/2 months old. I think he's going to grow into a big cat! He loves to ride around on my grandson's shoulder! Actually, the taller the person, the better. He loves my grandson, AND my nephew. My nephew is almost 6'7", and is currently his most favorite person in the world to "ride" (LOL). But, in worst case scenario, he'll even accept me (and I'm only 4' 9". Anyway, I doubt it'll show up automagically, but here's a pic of Luna and David from the other day at my Mom's 87th birthday party. https://imgur.com/3W5QHb8

This is laundry day for me... Yuk!

To make it even worse, we lost our central A/C a couple of weeks ago and last week Summer finally decided to visit and STAY. We're under a Heat Advisory until Wednesday night, so I've been taking it easy and not doing much... as has most everyone in the household. We're trying to get a handle on what paperwork is needed to get help on affording a new system, or come up with the money. I've already lost 10 pounds and my doc is going to rip me good when she sees me again in a month. Oh, well... that's the way it goes. Meanwhile, even Luna, the new kitten is taking it easy. She's definitely decided the dog's sofa under the ceiling fan is the "cat's meow" and has made it his own special place lay these days. At night, he lays in bed with me, between me, the window and the fan. Did I tell you he's a pretty smart baby? (Proud mama here!) He's also getting Lexy wrapped around his little paw! After swapping loads, this is what I came into in the Family Room. Luckily, I had my camera close for once!

As you can see, Lexy really is a gentle giant, and Luna has her a big dog sister!

And I can't believe it.... the darned preview actually worked this time! Saints be praised, Hallelujah!!!!!!!!

My new baby, Luna


Well, shoot... I thought this was suppose to show automatically... what did I do wrong?

How extremist Christian theology is driving the right-wing assault on democracy

Full Title: How extremist Christian theology is driving the right-wing assault on democracy
Author: Paul Rosenberg
Citations include: Frederick Clarkson, among others
Commentary on [link:https://www.salon.com/2021/10/31/how-extremist-christian-theology-is-driving-the-right-wing-on-democracy/|

It's a (fairly long) article on the two types of Dominionism in American today, their history and how they are at work in today's Evangelical and Charismatic churches. Also, how they are taking charge of politics and hot button issues to press their agendas to positions themselves to be THE leaders and rulers of America in the near and far future. This is the Theocracy for which we're headed. You want to be scared? This is worse than any Tobe Hooper horror show!

I've only read thru half of it, and I've had to stop for the night. I'm re-reading the first half and the rest of it tomorrow. I recommend it just on the half I've read so far. It's important information for us to know to be prepared to fight against in order to retain our democracy. I've known for a long time we've been up against the Dominionists in the coming theocracy. Even I didn't know there were two branches. The "Reconstructionist" branch mingles religion and economy; the NAR is the one most of us who know of the Dominionists are most familiar with - the ones who tout Dominion over the "7 Hills" or "7 Mountains". They both advocate instituting old Testament Biblical law instead of laws such as we have today. IOW, the Sharia type law they've screamed about for years. This includes public execution of women who've had abortions.

This is where I stopped for the night. I can only read so much before the nightmares will take over...

Suddenly today (5/14)

I'm getting "Forbidden" on a lot of screens when I click on links. Doesn't make any difference what kind of link... could be to a story, to My Posts, even just clicking on the DU logo to go back to the front page. Completely blank page except for the word "Forbidden" in about 9 or 10 point sans serif typeface. It's happened enough, I cleared cache and cookies and when that didn't work I even opened up "Edge" (which I NEVER use). I figured since I don't use it, it'd be a clean browser. Still, the same thing happens. Is anyone else having this happen today? Has this happened in the past and I just didn't read about it 'cause it wasn't happening to me at the time? With today being the day of the Marches, and two mass shooting events separated by a matter of several hours, I just got concerned maybe somebody decided to take it out on us, too...?

Anyway, anyone who's experienced anything like this, let me know why and how to stop it. I'm using Windows 11, usually use Chrome. Using the latest updated version (as of last night, anyway). I've cleaned cache and cookies. Heck, I've even rebooted! (LOL)

Thanks for any info!
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