OldBaldy1701E
OldBaldy1701E's JournalI wonder about my doctors sometimes...
Nowadays, we all have to fill in various forms and stuff online, and offices and hospitals have sites where one can do many things in regards to their health. However, I wonder if they actually read them. Case in point: I have now filled out some 'forms' that the orthopedic doctor requested. And, for the third time, they asked me about mental aspects of my life and the effect that my injuries may be having. Now, I decided a while back to stop holding back when it comes to being honest about my medical state, regardless of whether I like it or not. And, for the third time, I point out that I am suffering from issues regarding being a crippled failure, and that I don't see anything ever improving. So far, no one has said anything to me about these 'forms'. I will await the next appointment and see if they mention anything. I bet they won't. I suspect that they are thinking, "Well, that is a can of worms that I do not want to open!". And, I consider them smart for thinking that way. Because it is a can of worms. Hell, it is a VAT of worms. And, although all of this was in place before the accident, said accident has given the monster fresh fuel. I don't know... maybe I thought that reading this would at least warrant a question or two... maybe a referral or something? But, I also know the greed that lives in the medical profession these days. Whichever it is, I find it very unsettling that one can point out something as serious as my mental state is and get nothing back from the medical profession. Kind of telling, actually. Anyone care to bet on why?
I am thinking, "Nah, he can't afford that kind of help, So best to just hope it doesn't act up until we release him. Then, we won't have to worry about it."
So, the physical therapist asked me a question yesterday...
She asked, "What do you want out of this (meaning the physical therapy), what hobbies do you have, what do you do for a living, etc.?". I was actually taken aback. Not because of the question, but because, as someone who is literally just marking time these days, I have no ambition, no 'goals' to accomplish anymore. They are all gone, as far as I am concerned. All of the things I wanted to put into life and get out of life failed miserably. So, how does one answer such a question? Well, one choice is to lie like a rug and mention some of the failed wreckage as things that were still alive and being pursued. It really sucks that I had to do this, but what else was I supposed to do, casually look at her and say, "Nothing. I am a shell of a human and I am not even sure why we are here. I am just being a robot when it comes to this injury and rehab thing, but getting as much functionality back as my body can handle is not appealing. It is a bit silly to be honest. I am not long for this world anyway... why are we doing this again?"
Anyone else find themselves in this position? I am curious because I was really caught off guard by this question and I am pretty good and babbling without pause if I have to. Yet, it still threw me. Anyone else ever do this?
(Quick summary: I was biking and a vehicle pulled out in front of me. I hit the front fender and it tore all of my left rotator cuff ligaments as well as a good part of my bicep as well. I put a really good dent into the vehicle, so bad that it took three people to yank the passenger door open. Not bad for an old defensive lineman.) They have stitched all of it back together and the healing has begun. I started therapy yesterday. Also, this accident happened the day after I went to the doctor to see about my right shoulder, which was giving me fits of pain and weakness, and was supposed to be going to the orthopedist because of it... until the next morning. Sigh.)
Profile Information
Name: Dalton IveyGender: Male
Hometown: The Outer Banks
Home country: USA
Current location: Minneapolis, MN
Member since: Wed Mar 6, 2019, 02:24 PM
Number of posts: 5,126
