North Catasauqua, PA — Six years ago, when Tom Newhart and his wife rescued a baby cat and named him Sugar, they never imagined that his life would end in a hail of gunfire. However, thanks to a North Catasauqua police officer, that’s exactly what happened.

Last Sunday, Sugar escaped from the Newhart’s home. Hours later, he’d be gunned down by police.

Now cats make badge wearing assholes fear for their lives

A nine-year-old boy has been suspended by officials at a Texas school because they believe bringing an imaginary Hobbit ring to class is an act of terrorism.

When Aiden Steward watched “The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies” earlier this week with his family, he naturally wanted to pretend to be a character from the film. Specifically, he pretended to be Bilbo Baggins, the hesitantly brave hero who acquires a magic ring from the creature Gollum in the first movie in the trilogy, which is based on a book written by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Forged at the fictional location of Mount Doom, it is “the one ring to rule them all,” giving the wearer the power of invisibility. The power of the ring aided Bilbo during his journey. So, Aiden brought a ring of his own to Kermit Elementary School and told his friends that they, too, could become invisible by using his ring. Again, the ring had no powers whatsoever, because this is reality.

More Tex-ass! Let them secede!

Rush Limbaugh has a secret that he keeps from his feces throwing listeners. He is cooperating with the Obama administration in a government effort to combat climate change induced beach erosion on his ocean front property in Palm Beach, Florida.

Worthless piece of monkey shit exposed.

A California cop who shot a man who had stuck his head out of a car that had rolled over will not be prosecuted, a district attorney announced Thursday.

Paradise police officer Patrick Feaster told investigators he never meant to shoot Andrew Thomas, possibly leaving him paralyzed for the rest of his life.

And Butte County District Attorney Mike Ramsey took Feaster’s word on it, which led to his decision not to prosecute.

Accident my asshole. Watch what the cops does with his gun.

A New York man was taken into custody for launching an attack on workers in a restaurant Monday night after demanding to know if they were Muslims, the New York Daily News is reporting.

In video obtained by the Daily News, Robert Murino, 26, can be seen reaching across the counter and punching a worker at the Salt & Pepper restaurant after calling the employee a “Muslim motherf*cker.”

According to court documents, Murino began by asking the employees — who hail from Pakistan, India and Bangladesh — how they felt about ISIS.

When staffer Tahir Mahood attempted to calm him down, the man reached across the counter and slapped him.

I hope he goes to prison for a long time.