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tiredtoo

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Member since: Mon Nov 2, 2009, 11:29 AM
Number of posts: 1,347

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Health update for journal

In November 2017 i had surgery to repair an abdominal aorta aneurysm. This was inter vascular surgery, a stent was installed. The surgery was hard on my lungs, decreasing capacity.
About two months ago a routine ultrasound exam found the stent had slipped or something and it was leaking. This not good, the aneurysm growing again. Surgeon said he would go back in and repair damage stopping the leak. This was done soon after the discovery of leak.
Yesterday I went for an ultrasound to check on surgery. Unfortunately, the surgeon came in and told me it is still leaking. He said he did not think i would survive massive surgery because of my lung condition. He said he will consult with additional experts in the field to see what can be done and call me with options available.
I did not tell him, but i did tell my family, my main concern at this point is surviving long enough to vote against trump next year.
If I don't make it please do what you can to get someone to vote for me.
Thanks for all you do.

An update for Journal

Mar. 15 2019.
My lungs are really going to hell. Can't walk to bathroom and back to living room without running out of breath. Have to sit in chair for 5 minutes or so just to get my breath back. Physical activity really taxes me. This pisses me off but nothing i can do about it.
Children all doing well.
Talked to grandson about me dying. He already has an aunt picked out to live with so i guess that is good. Not sure how the aunt would feel about it, she has her own family type problems. (her husband had a stroke a few years back and is deteroiating at about the same speed as me.)
Undergoing cataract surgery, right eye done last week, left eye next Monday. Vision much better already This may sound crazy but a couple times i have asked myself why am i doing this, my sight should be okay for as long as i will be here.
Ran into an old work friend last night. He came to table as soon as i walked in and asked me how I'm doing. I struggled to tell him bad, can't talk no air. He said "well i knew a few others in same condition and they lived a long time with it." I kinda have a goal to make it long enough to see the asshole in the WhiteHouse get his ass kicked in next election. But i don't know, may have to change living arrangements as i am finding it more and more difficult to take care of myself. Grandson is a help but he is limited.
My political activity is very limited attend a few meetings but now just sit and listen for the most part. Used to raise hell, some may enjoy the new me.
Actually just posting this to update my journal. You all carry on and continue helping me with my "dying wish"
Thanks for listening.

Well Went to Doctor today

He did not give me any good news or bad news. Just said my lungs are not changing, they are stable. Later i was taking a walk test with nurse and i told her my diagnosis is Pulmonary fibrosis. I saw her eyes tear up immediately, she asked me when it was diagnosed and i responded last march. Nothing more was said.
Grandson, has good days and bad days. Mostly bad days, he just came out and asked me if i had any good memories of my childhood. Said he had to think long and hard to recall a good memory. It was when he go two puppies but of course it was counteracted by having to get rid of them a few years later.
18-20 years of negativity is hard to overcome.

Brief update

Medication I take is inhaled using a nebulizer. Last week nebulizer was not working correctly. It was running but not creating fumes for inhalation. Meds just foamed in cup. Took it to provider where they tested it and told me cup was dirty, clean with vinegar and water. Gave me two new cups and sent me home. Went home and using new cup fired up nebulizer, continued to foam in cup. Tried it again in morning with similar results. Hadn't had meds in a couple days and i was puffing hard. my daughter took nebulizer with cup full of foamy meds to provider. They then fired it up and it worked fine for a few minutes then stopped. They gave her new nebulizer and i can now breath. It was a tough day or two but feel better now.
Grandson has been good. He is starting to open up a bit to me now. Told me he gets angry every day and he does. Trying to get him more accepting of his condition. He blames everyone else for any problem he encounters. Shirks responsibility. But he is starting to understand better. I can usually talk him down from his rages. Just posting this as a means of keeping records.

Day 2



Yesterday my first post regarding conditions at my place was shared here. This is a continuation of that post.
More background on health condition:
COPD was a diagnosis 8-10 years ago and I have been on various meds and oxygen since. This condition has been slowly deteriorating my physical abilities for years. A condition not unexpected by me. After surgery last fall I experienced what was a dramatic change in my health. Prior to surgery I was observing a slowly deteriorating lung capacity, after surgery my lungs seem to have a drastic reduction in functions. Shortness of breath much more intense and came about with minimal activity.
Now a short piece detailing some events yesterday.
Grandson asked what’s for supper. I suggested going to Mexican restaurant and he agreed. We went to local place where he ordered two chicken burritos and I ordered the taco dinner. (3 tacos, refried beans and rice).
Near the end of meal, I looked at his plate and noticed he had received beef burritos not chicken, I said nothing as he was consuming same with no comment. I then looked up and saw a small tv in the corner. The tv was tuned to Fox news.
The waiter came to table to check on us. I told him if I had seen that on the tv when entering my action would have been to get up and leave without ordering anything. He agreed and said he did not know how that came to be on.
Grandson then said. “What makes you think you can tell people what they can watch? Very Trumpian of you. I did not get what I ordered but quietly ate what I was served.” My reply was “yes I saw your order was not correct but said nothing as you were more than halfway through and appeared to be accepting of the mistake.”
I said nothing more to avoid getting him upset.
We paid for meal and left.
When we got in car I told him he is the customer and upon receiving wrong food he should have politely said “there must be a mistake here, I ordered chicken and this is beef”. The waiter would have apologized and brought you the correct order. He said something along the lines of “I don’t want to get shot.”
Nothing was said regarding the tv and him calling me Trumpian. He takes some time to mentally process things and I felt the mistaken food was enough to process for the time being.

One other thing, the tv was on the Golf channel soon after my complaint.

Not sure how long i have left.

Last spring i was diagnosed with Pulmonary fibrosis. Initial google search said 2 years, next search a few days ago said 3 to 5 years.
I am scheduled to get another X-ray in December and then an appointment at Pulmonologist where i assume he will give me a more accurate prognosis.
Posting this here because i may need some advice etc. NOT looking for sympathy! May have some questions and seeking answers.
Background information.
December 22 I will turn 78 years old. My wife of 56 years died March 4 2016, her 75th birthday. We had 5 children and all are doing well. 4 girls and 1 boy. Have 8 grandchildren and 5 great children.
Other than my son being a republican everything is super with my heirs.
I believe all financial items are in line. Small amount of assets are all joint with children and set up for equal distribution to the 5 children. I have written a personal letter to each, sharing my thoughts and memories with them, will most likely add to these letters as time goes on.
I do have a 20 year old grandson living with me who is on the autism spectrum. A little over a year ago the court determined he cannot live with his parents and brothers. The environment creates havoc with his life. Since moving in with me he has calmed down and now spends weekends with his family. Frequently when he returns it takes a day or so to get him calmed down. He is a good person but has been raised to believe he is a loser and can do nothing. Sad story for sure, but I will do whatever i can to help him have a decent life. If only i knew how to get him a more positive attitude I would feel like success has been achieved.
He is a concern for me, not sure if i should make any special arrangements for him or just let him be another grieving grandchild.(He has told me he does not grieve for anyone and does not expect to ever do so. Hard ass? but i just fed the dog and had to sit in a chair for a few minutes to catch my breath, he asked me if I was alright.
Thinking about posting occasional updates on my thoughts, feelings and condition .
Nuff for now. If this post is not appropriate or not in the appropriate forum, removal will not offend me.
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