U.S. Interests: Anything that increases the wealth and power of those who own us.

Boots on the ground: Humans who are used as cannon fodder.

9/11: A vast gold mine for war profiteers.

Pundit: Anyone with an opinion who can get a TV gig.

The enemy: Anyone possessing something that someone else wants.

Common wisdom: Twisted logic believed by people inside the beltway.

Profiling: Looking for anyone guilty of breathing while black.

Sending a signal: Bombing the hell out of some country.

Proportional response: Bombing the hell out of some country.

Ted Cruz: A reckless prick with a Yale degree peddling ignorance and hatred.

Dick Cheney: 666

Income gap: A means for keeping the peasants in their place.

Modern warfare: Corporate profits by other means.

Justice: An abstract concept that many believe actually exists.

Republican Party: A club for those who have lost their souls, or never had one.

Fox News: A rancid, prehistoric cave where delusional people wallow in fantasy.

Heritage Foundation: A place where people come up with utterly demented ideas.

God: An entity that sees, hears and knows everything. Also known as NSA.

Tea Party: Current incarnation of a plague that occurs occasionally.

Benghazi: A word Republicans shout when they can’t think of anything else to say.