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Gender: Female
Hometown: Illinois
Home country: USA
Member since: Mon Nov 10, 2003, 12:24 PM
Number of posts: 29,629

Journal Archives

I am going to Madison on Monday

to see a surgeon. Apparently I can have a lobectomy, or similar surgery to remove the portion of the lung that has cancer and have the rest of the lung sewn back together. I will keep you informed.

I am still very scared about things. The mental health support for all of this has been nonexistent.

Thank God we discovered this early. I may still have a few years to live productively and accomplish a few things.

I have had the bronchoscopy.

I am leaving soon for a pulmonary function test. I will have a referral to Madison about a resection of the left lower lobe of my lung. All they are doing is testing and not treating and I am terrified. I will die before they treat me, even though my cancer has not yet spread.

Broncoscopy tomorrow.

Then I wait 1-2 weeks for the results. I am beyond anxious.

A broncospopy on the 20th?

And then a pulmonary function test on the 27th?

All these people do is test me. I have yet to have any treatment. I told my doc about my symptoms and that I thought I had lung cancer on the 26th of July. I am going to die before I have any treatment at all.

If I was scared before,

now I am terrified.

I don't know how the people here keep up their spirits.

I thought I was getting a pulmonary function test today. Instead, it was just another consultation. The pulmonologist was upset that things were delayed by three weeks. Now she just delayed them more. I am getting a covid test on the 24th and a pulmonary function test on the 27th. I thought my lung cancer had not spread. So did my primary care doc. Now it looks like it may be in my spine. I don't know yet. If it is, they cannot remove it. I will get chemo and radiation only. The only thing I can do is wait.

We don't know what kind of lung cancer this is. We don't know if it is stage three or four. I am beyond anxious.

Update on my cancer

I have a pulmonary appointment on Thursday, Sept. 15. There is a tumor in my lower left lobe of my lungs. She (my primary care doc) says it is large, 3.3 x 2.8 cm and it is cancer. Lower lobe tumors do not metastasize as often.

It has not spread into my back. They caught it in time. The treatment I am having is a broncospopy.

I will be getting treatment and I should be able to heal.

I have had one and one-half cigarettes since July 26th, and I am done smoking. I don't care how many cigarettes my husband brings home. That is over.

I am feeling good about things. I know I can beat this.

This is supposed to be an important post,

due to its number. Maybe I should not overshare, but I am terrified.

I have lung cancer. Yes, I smoked for most of my adult life. I have quit many times, unsuccessfully. I swear it is hard because there is another smoker in the house. When I decide to cheat, I just reach out for my hubby's pack of smokes.

Please send prayers, healing vibes, whatever you think will help. I have a great deal of guilt and fear.

I have a couple of other medical problems that may or may not be connected to this, I don't know.

I fell on August 8 and had a brain bleed. I got up in the night to use the bathroom. There are boxes and bags strewn around our house because the kitchen and laundry room are being remodeled. I ended up in the hospital for five days. I had already had the CT scan, where they found the lung mass. They did not schedule me to go back until 9/7. I will find out then if this is malignant, I think.

A whole month! That terrifies me. Maybe I am too far gone to be helped. I am 74. The mass is greater than 8mm and is a solitary pulmonary module.

Maybe 74 is too old to ask for help.

I am also being scanned for compression fractures to my spine. I have osteoporosis. This is the third time I have had compression fractures. I hope the cancer has not metastasized to my spine. I picked up a microwave and carried it back to the kitchen because my husband would not help. It was too much for my back. He cooperates when he feels like it.

I will not know results until 9/13. That is a long time.

I will keep you posted. I am only asking for support, not medical advice. I am sure I will have all sorts of doctors weighing in.

If I sound critical of my husband, well, I know he is in shock, too. He does not know how to react.
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