niyad
niyad's JournalI Am Not a Slave to the Biological Clock
I Am Not a Slave to the Biological Clock
PUBLISHED 7/11/2022 by Kirsten Stade
Our creative impulses are so much more than they seem in a pronatalist society.
(Creative Commons)
I’m celebrating World Population Day with a toast to the waning days of my fertility, and the fact that I’ve made it through my childbearing years without being overpowered by the so-called “biological clock.” With the recent turn toward the benighted and punitive in our nation’s abortion and reproductive health landscape, menopause will come not a moment too soon. The thought of bringing a child into an already full life, and onto an already full planet, has always seemed preposterous. It wasn’t just my anxiety about our planet’s carrying capacity, or the fact that that for most of my 20s and 30s I had little time to contemplate having a child, though I certainly didn’t—I was too busy playing in marimba bands, volunteering at Guatemalan wildlife rehabilitation centers, rescuing dogs, immersing myself in a Master’s program in conservation, and liaising with a series of activists, drum circle devotees, and professional music festival-goers who were decidedly not Dad material.
More than anything it was that the notion of having a child—a small, strange-looking, utterly dependent and infinitely demanding incipient human—held absolutely no appeal. And it was a good thing, too, as my career with conservation nonprofits exposed me to the fact that each new human born to an average American will contribute roughly 9441 metric tons of carbon to our total footprint. That means that a lifetime of the most dedicated efforts to bike to work and eat low on the food chain would be negated many times over by the act of making another human—a human over whose consumption habits I would, after all, ultimately have no control. Fine then, a pronatalist cheerleader might urge: Teach your child to consume less. Teach your child to live like an African villager, or even an average European—whose consumption of land, water and fuel are appreciably smaller than those of Americans. But the problem is this: Even babies born in Africa or Europe have an environmental impact that can no longer be absorbed by the ecosystems into which they are born.
. . ..
In fact, regardless of the biological or culturally-conditioned genesis of the procreative impulse, we do ourselves and our species a disservice when we throw up our hands in its face, and declare our powerlessness to exercise discernment over one of life’s most consequential choices. And in fact, while there is surely the possibility that I will one day regret not having had a child, there is an equal possibility that I would regret having had one—a possibility so terrifying that our failure to warn young people of its existence (just Google “I regret having children,” and be prepared for a ride) seems grossly negligent.
This is why I feel no regret and a building sense of relief as I appear certain to carry my ambivalence about childbirth beyond the menopausal point of no return. And why we would do well to recognize that perhaps the “biological imperative” is simply a powerful creative impulse, and we are glossing over this more complex reality when we attribute that impulse, with little examination, to wanting a child. That, by obeying the cultural expectation that we procreate, we may be denying ourselves the broad array of fulfilling creative outlets that would also satisfy our inchoate longings, while also saving the planet from the many burdens that accompany each human who joins our ranks.
https://msmagazine.com/2022/07/11/women-biological-clock-child-free-world-population-day/
The Case for Making Government Work for Single Cat Ladies
The Case for Making Government Work for Single Cat Ladies
PUBLISHED 7/26/2024 by Erika Felix
Instead of ignoring or making fun of us single people, listen to us.
In 2021, 52 (FIFTY TWO) percent of American women were unmarried or separated—a record-breaking number. (Rawlstock / Getty Images)
JD Vance’s incendiary comments about the Democratic Party being run by “miserable” single “childless cat ladies” has struck a major nerve. Political contests incentivize wild claims by people like Vance who are desperate for attention and power. In response, defenses in favor of Vice President Kamala Harris point out that she is a parent because of her stepchildren, which puts her in the same class as George Washington, a founding stepfather.
There’s less attention defending those of us who truly are single cat ladies. Nearly 20 years ago, social scientists Bella DePaulo and Wendy Morris aptly described singlism: the prejudice, stereotyping and discrimination toward singles. Since their article, the number of single households has only been growing. Instead of ignoring or making fun of us single people, listen to us. Singlism is not partisan. The stereotypes singlism engenders make many policies and practices across parties unjust. I saw this during the pandemic when many public health guidances and policies failed to reflect the reality of the 27.6 percent of single-person households.
Living alone during the pandemic was neither better nor worse than living with others, but the degree of isolation was exponentially different. We had to contend with what to do in case of illness and were frustrated by an exclusionary public narrative. Still, there were also benefits, such as not having to engage in caregiving, reduced risk of infection or transmission, and not having to adapt to others. As a psychologist and single cat lady at the start of the pandemic, I recognized how the ongoing social restrictions did not seem to consider the reality of single, non-elderly people. I joined forces with a single dog lady, and we designed the ‘Living Alone During the Pandemic’ study. Within this study, we interviewed single people of all genders across the country.
Our single participants desired some public recognition of their experience: public health advice tailored toward single households and ways to connect with others in the same experience. We were repeatedly told by participants how grateful they were that someone was asking for their perspective. Singlism bias and stereotyping extends to other areas of government and policy. With women’s healthcare on the ballot, our sexuality and choices about whether or not to have children have been under heightened scrutiny.
The discourse over student loan forgiveness during the Biden administration failed to mention single people, or how it would help us despite us paying a higher proportion of taxes than our married counterparts. We gladly pay taxes that support K-12 education, even though we have only an indirect benefit. Childcare tax credits and the tax deductions for dependent children are worth the investment. Though I would not benefit from Biden’s policy personally, my partner, a single cat dad, would benefit and so would many married people. I am privileged to live in a time where I do not have to marry for my economic survival, the way our foremothers often had to. Now, it is time to get rid of singlism. Single people serve their communities, have meaningful careers, benefit their families as aunts and uncles and are active participants in their faith communities. Do not use us to get attention on the news, and do not forget about us when you make policy.
https://msmagazine.com/2024/07/26/single-women-economy-childless-cat-lady/
"No skin in the game" referring to those who are childfree, unmarried, etc.,
REALLLLLLLLY pisses me off. What an unbelievably stupid thing to say. Where is it written, and by whom, that single people, or childfree people, do not care about the future, do not care about anything but their own lives?? Oh, yeah, PROJECTION, from the group actively working to make sure there IS NO future.
Many years ago, a person told me that, because I was childfree, I couldn't possibly understand, etc., etc. I pointed out that, in not having children, I had more time than families did to devote to making certain all children, all people, would have more secure, healthy, happy lives. Total lack of comprehension from that person.
I know that whole nonsense is. .forget dog whistle, it's a whole brass band!!!, but, what utterly ignorant bs.
Twins separated at birth? egoloon muskrat and mango mussolini?
Think about the similarities. Both back out on promises. Both cheat their employees, etc. Both take credit for other people's achievements. Both have oversized egos. Both have multiple children by different women. Both are putin-lovers. Both are a threat to security, both national and international. Both are ugly at the soul level. Both look more than a little odd. Both claim to being self-made, yet inherited great wealth. Both are racist, misogynist wastes of resources.
I have probably missed a few. Feel free to add.
Imagine devoting your whole life to public service, and you end up getting
stabbed in the back by people you thought HAD your back.
FLOTUS as Edith Wilson??? This was actual BS I heard at our Drinking
Liberally meeting tonight. Naturally, one of the major topics of discussion was whether President Biden should stay, or go. The consensus was that he should stay, including our facilitator, who is somewhere to the left of Bernie. However, one of our group (of whom I have had doubts for months), insisted that if he stayed, it would be because Jill insists on it, and she is the power behind the throne (her words, not mine). I asked her where she had heard such a thing, and she said that "everybody knows this". I, perhaps not-so-politely, pointed out that I, for one, had not run across that idea before, and nothing I have ever seen of their relationship would give rise to such a notion.
Note to self: Drink VERY liberally BEFORE next meeting, so as not to create a scene.
Bill Penzey's email today about the shooting was one of the kindest, most
loving things I could imagine. I hope somebody who is on the list can post it here. He even explained why he took down the poster that read "Welcome, FAKE electors" from their store across the street from the security zone.
One million acknowledged covid deaths in this country during the pandemic.
But it just occurred to me, in responding to someone in another thread, that we do not talk about those who did not die, but are now suffering, and may well continue to suffer, the effects of long covid. One of my friends contracted covid in June 2020, long before the vaccines were available, was in ICU, on a vent, for over two weeks. She survived, barely, but has brain fog, heart, and digestive issues to this day.
How much long term damage are we as a society, as family, as friends, as the helping orofessions, going to be dealing with?
sharia law or "christian" nationalist talibangelicals (project 2025). Can
anybody explain the difference (apart from which sacred fiction is being used to justify the misogyny, cruelty, and hatred, that is.!
Thanks in advance.
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