July 25, 2015

Not Good Enough, Warren....

Sure, you say that you will vote for the nominee, whoever it is, but how can we (we being concerned citizens of DU who demand to know how everyone will vote and warn of the TOS and everything. I'm the night-shift) take you at yr word? How do we know yr not a sleeper agent from the vast army of Bernies clogging up DU announcing every post that they won't vote for Hillary Clinton NO MATTER WHAT?

There's only one solution to this terrible problem. We've compiled a list, and on election day a crack unit of the 15 remaining Hillary Supporters at DU will be squeezing into the voting booth with you and anyone else on our list to find out once and for all what yr intentions are. And once we know, we're coming back here, wresting the nuke button off Skinner, and we're going to set off those nukes and it's going to make Hiroshima look like a tiny firecracker by comparison.

And then in four years time we're going to do it all over again. Be warned, Bernies!

July 15, 2015

The problem is where to start a meta thread with no Meta forum anymore...

If only there were a group at DU where people could go and start meta threads and be left in peace to complain. But a better version than the Meta forum was. Everyone knew its downfall was that any old riff raff were let in. If only there were a way to put a bouncer on the door to keep the undesirables away from meta threads...

June 25, 2015

A safe haven for what, though? It mustn't be for posting positive stuff about Hillary Clinton...

Because I was blocked without warning by one host. I won't say who he is as I don't want to be seen as calling anyone out, but apart from one post wishing that host well when he spoke of health issues, the post below is the sum total of what I'd posted in the group. I don't go around attacking any of the Democratic candidates in GD, so I'm a bit confused as to why I was blocked. Do you know why? I would have thought positive contributions about Hillary Clinton would be welcome...

This is the post....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/11079671

May 11, 2015

Not all of them. I followed the Church of bluejuice until its sad demise last year...

No-one better shit on my religion. Even though it's now defunct, I'm always ready to push this particular religious belief onto others. You'll understand if you watch this clip where they go into some detail explaining their beliefs. Watch it all the way through. Skip the ad, though. There's no religious message in that and ads are fucking boring...

And here's another of their hymns which kind of reminds me of some of the posts in this thread....

&list

May 8, 2015

America - the land where people NEED to draw Mohammed...

I've gone one better than that! One of my friends is heading off to the US for a holiday next week and she doesn't want to look like a tourist. I gave her these handy tips...

1. Don't speak. Ever. The accent will give you away.
2. They NEED to draw Mohammed in America. I don't know why, but it's something they just need to do. It's some weird cultural thing, I think. So when someone says hi, just draw them a quick sketch of Mohammed, hand it to them with a knowing smile and walk off. They'll think yr a local coz that's what Americans do when greeting each other.
3. If a local persists in trying to get you to talk and give yr tourist status away, just whip up a cartoon of Mohammed having sex with Pamela Geller, and in a fake French accent say '#JeSuisPamelaGeller'. And then when the cops turn up to put a stop to yr impromtu x-rated Mohammed and Pammy exhibition because of obscenity something something, start yelling in a fake American accent 'FREEDOM OF SPEECH! IT'S ONE OF THOSE AMENDMENT THINGS!'
4. Send me a postcard.

April 28, 2015

There's been so much wailing about crews and fan clubs in this thread...

So I'm starting my own Yuck It Up Crew. I'm going to be very discerning about who can join coz I don't want anyone sneaking in who doesn't have a sense of humour or think that themselves frothing at the mouth is them just having fun. You get automatic membership, though I am very worried that in making you a member, I'm going to be accused of being a lemming and being in yr fan club. I'm starting to lose track of all the fan clubs I'm finding out I'm a member of!

Whoo hoo! It hit 500 posts! My work here is done!

April 6, 2015

Scoot, I sense a communication breakdown....

I get totally what yr saying. Alas, I fear there's a communication problem here, so let me handle it...

There's always someone at the end of the keyboard.



Sometimes crap stuff happens to them and it sucks



We send them hugs and listen to them



Except if it's some fuckwit who's all for bombing the shit out of assorted Arabs and Iranians and then they turn up and start a thread about how someone keyed their car and then returned the next day and stole all the tyres off it. HA! Karma!



But we should send them hugs and listen to them too because they're someone at the end of a keyboard and stuff.



Lots more pics of smiley happy things tra la la...






He needs a panda hug



Enough! Everyone needs to be nice to each other! Everyone needs to be watching this song whenever they post and there won't be any nasty posts ever!

February 2, 2015

You forgot a few options. Their social media policy shows some vunherabilities...

We could:

Send them over to Twitter and insert them in the middle of an Iggy Azalea vs American hip-hop/respected shoe designers/whoever else she hates today rant. After a few hours of reading that badly spelt stream of idiocy they'll all behead themselves. Problem solved.

or

Elect someone at DU who talks about ISIS a lot when they're not scouring the globe to locate that elusive 'moderate' Muslim (not my words) to start a massive thread in GD about how much ISIS suck. That won't sway ISIS, but when they spot the obligatory cute kitten thread that's sure to be lurking on the front page of GD they'll see the light and realise no-one's going to allow them to adopt a fur baby when they're running round beheading people and being all murdery.

No. Wait. Yr talking about what the US and not DU should do? I'm not sure it should do much else than what it's doing now. Going in there all guns blazing and killing lots of civilians for some reason might not go down well with the locals that the US would be trying to protect.

This song's for all the keyboard warriors out there. It has things in common with them...

January 14, 2015

Little known Stephanie Bannister fact - Halal's the capital city of the country called Islam...

I was going to go visit but Stephanie Bannister invaded it before I could and destroyed it with a bunch of butt ugly stickers. Thankfully they've rebuilt the capital nearby and named it Muslim...

LOL. I didn't realise she got mentioned by the US media. I remember when she was on the news here and pissing myself laughing at what she was saying

January 14, 2015

I'm not gonna be a damn defensive liberal so I'm off to try to get halal banned!

Someone on Facebook told me that eating something that's halal is forcIng Islam on us and it just helps Muslims take over the world. I thought they were a raving nutter at the time, especially after asking them if they wanted to ban kosher stuff as well and getting a one word response; 'antisemite!' But now I see I was just being a defensive liberal I'm off to join any groups that have the words 'against islamization' in them. It's not like they're bigoted against Muslims or anything. If they were they'd burn and vandalize all mosques, not just a few.