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Ilsa

(61,722 posts)
Wed Sep 28, 2022, 11:22 PM Sep 2022

Anyone ever go crazy in front of the hospice people?

I did recently. The day before I had my first ever bad blood work revealed, and I woke up with about 50% hearing loss in one ear from the stress of becoming unhealthy, taking care of my dementia-crazed MIL, and managing my adult son's autism. My MIL was losing theability to feed herself, and I suddenly declared "I can't do it." I was just an emotional tirade from caregiver fatigue.

I swear, they started treating me like a criminal like they were one bad word away from calling APS. Then the nurse told me she wouldn't be available for awhile because she was going on a nice weekend trip to the beach. (They know I rarely am able to leave the house.) Just rub it in.

9 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Anyone ever go crazy in front of the hospice people? (Original Post) Ilsa Sep 2022 OP
No, Luv. We're with you. elleng Sep 2022 #1
I wanted to. blm Sep 2022 #2
Maybe a church group has some friends to assist Tetrachloride Sep 2022 #3
I think that my situation with my father was even worse in 2012. TexasTowelie Sep 2022 #4
I would have thought hospice folk were used to people under extreme stress Skittles Sep 2022 #5
They have been really good up until then. And for Ilsa Sep 2022 #8
In my area they have resperate care for the caregivers. Historic NY Sep 2022 #6
We haven't had respite since July. No facilities available to take her. Ilsa Sep 2022 #7
After my experience with them CountAllVotes Oct 2022 #9

TexasTowelie

(113,071 posts)
4. I think that my situation with my father was even worse in 2012.
Wed Sep 28, 2022, 11:52 PM
Sep 2022

We were supposed to have a nurse come in to visit my father for the first time on a Saturday. I woke up about an hour before the appointment and went into the bedroom to discover that my father had soiled the linens so I tried to get him into the shower, but he was unconscious and I'm not strong enough to support his entire weight.

When the nurse arrived I was in a panic and my father's heartbeat was 2 beats per minute. I had to make a split second decision as to whether to revive him in front of a person that I never met, so what was I supposed to do? My father was 85 years old and had Parkinson's disease, but I could only imagine the repercussions if I let him pass away peacefully. We called the ambulance and I went with my father to the hospital. He lived for about a month after that incident.

After I called the ambulance I then contacted my three sisters and my brother. I got chewed out by one of my sisters and my brother for having him revived, while another sister didn't take it out on me but also thought that I shouldn't have intervened. Damned if I do and damned if don't--that left some lingering frustration between me and the rest of my family.

The worst part is that I was also the only person around when my mother collapsed on the floor a couple of months before she passed away in 2000. None of my other siblings had to deal with emergency situations with the parents so they really don't understand how I felt in those situations or having to deal with their bullshit second-guessing what I done in my father's situation.

Skittles

(153,538 posts)
5. I would have thought hospice folk were used to people under extreme stress
Thu Sep 29, 2022, 12:18 AM
Sep 2022

these folk sound horrible

Ilsa

(61,722 posts)
8. They have been really good up until then. And for
Thu Sep 29, 2022, 07:24 AM
Sep 2022

some reason I was targeted with potential neglect, not the patient's son.

Historic NY

(37,477 posts)
6. In my area they have resperate care for the caregivers.
Thu Sep 29, 2022, 12:42 AM
Sep 2022

Mostly groups of volunteers. but there are programs


[link:https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/what-respite-care|]

Check office of aging etc...

[link:https://aging.ny.gov/respite|]

Ilsa

(61,722 posts)
7. We haven't had respite since July. No facilities available to take her.
Thu Sep 29, 2022, 07:21 AM
Sep 2022

I know that had a lot to do with it.

CountAllVotes

(20,890 posts)
9. After my experience with them
Thu Oct 13, 2022, 01:45 PM
Oct 2022

Now you know why I refer to them as HOSPISS!

All they did for me is tell me that my husband was not about to die and that it was up to me to care for him. That was in Feb. 2022.

He was dead on May 12th, 3 mos. later. DEAD!

Hospiss ... yeah right!

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