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Liberalynn

(7,549 posts)
Wed May 8, 2013, 01:07 PM May 2013

Very Frustrated with my Bipolar cousin right now

and I feel guilty about it.

This cousin is in a manic state right now but is refusing to get help. She had a really bad episode, the ambulance and police had to be called and she was hospitalized but she lied to the hospital staff and said she was okay. She obviously was convincing cause they let her go, after a few days, even though she threw something at the officer who took her in and had to go in a straight jacket. All of us who know her, know she is not alright. She's very hyper not make sense, babbling etc.

She went to see her psychiatrist and he told her brother(who has her Hippa right), who then talked to my sister, that she is not right. Her psychiatrist said he disagrees with the hospital's conclusion that she is not in a manic state, that he believes she absoultely is, but she is refusing to take her meds and he can't force her.

The brother is also Bipolar. He takes his meds, goes to the counselor, and doctor etc. She has another brother who isn't bipolar but he's frustrated and angry about the situation and not really helping. He's mad at her because she didn't put him on her Hippa.

I suffer from chronic recurrent mild to severe depression and moderate/severe anxiety with OCD tendencies myself so I understand mental illness to some extent. I realize bipolar is different. Its just I don't understand not wanting to get help or not wanting to take your meds. When ever I hit bottom or even have felt like I was at risk for hitting bottom I call for help and I do what my counselors and doctors ask of me. I take my meds. If they gave me side effects I called and told them, and they have always helped me find one that didn't.

The thing is my cousin is putting a lot of strain on her brother and the rest of her immediate family, and the extended family, and her friends. I am afraid she is going to hurt herself or drive her brother into an episode.

I know it's wrong to hold any of this against her but part of me is saying she's just being stubborn by refusing to get help, and she is only hurting herself and everyone around her by refusing to take her meds.

Right now I don't want to talk to her. I hate myself for it, but I don't. I am just afraid I am going to let the frustration I feel with her show, and that isn't going to be good for either of us.

My sister has been talking to her and helping out where she can and so is another cousin. All though the other cousin is in denial and saying oh she is just fine. Nothing wrong at all, she's just really really happy, and energetic right now that's all.

On the purely selfish side, I have worked hard to get myself stable and keep myself stable, and am afraid that talking to her is just going to get set me wobbling again. Its already started me obessing on some of the family issues again. The Bipolar came from her father's side, however, her mother's side, (my late Aunt) through which I am related defined the word neurotic and have had their own mental health issues. Both our mothers were critical and negative a lot and often directed it at their kids. Her mother was often worse. But our mothers are both gone now, may they rest in peace, we have to let it go now.

From what my sister said the things my Aunt said to my cousin in the past is part of what triggered my cousin's current attack because she is dwelling on it right now.

Sorry to go on but I have no one to talk to about this because I don't want to put pressure on my family from my end.

I think I am going to just call my counselor and see if she can fit me in earlier than two weeks from now.

8 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Very Frustrated with my Bipolar cousin right now (Original Post) Liberalynn May 2013 OP
If I had a dime for every time a bi-polar Betsy Ross May 2013 #1
Thank you! Liberalynn May 2013 #2
I stopped wanting to go off my meds after I got the right ones. Neoma May 2013 #3
Thank you for the insight into this. Liberalynn May 2013 #4
With bipolar, depression does lift. Neoma May 2013 #5
I'ts so hard when your misdiagnosed. Liberalynn May 2013 #7
Mental Health Support Group is intended to provide a place to talk HereSince1628 May 2013 #6
Thank you. Liberalynn May 2013 #8

Betsy Ross

(3,147 posts)
1. If I had a dime for every time a bi-polar
Wed May 8, 2013, 01:23 PM
May 2013

person said "I'm okay and don't need medicine" I could pay off the national debt. It isn't stubbornness on the part of your cousin, it's just part of the disease. You know how much conscious effort it can take to battle mental disorders. Don't involve yourself to the detriment of your health; that would benefit nobody. Help as you can but don't fall into guilt or resentment if you can't.

BP type II, formally married to a BP so I am well aware of the struggle from both sides.

 

Liberalynn

(7,549 posts)
2. Thank you!
Wed May 8, 2013, 01:32 PM
May 2013
It is good to get some perspective on this. I have to remind myself this isn't her fault any more than my depression is mine. One of her eldest brother's (the one who isn't bipolar) ex wives(he has 2) tried to intervene, since her son has it. She figured since she has experience she'd try to convince her ex sister in law to coperate with the doctors, the way she successfuly did with her son. Now the ill cousin is not talking to her anymore.

Neoma

(10,039 posts)
3. I stopped wanting to go off my meds after I got the right ones.
Wed May 8, 2013, 03:43 PM
May 2013

Mania can be described as a huge self-esteem boost sometimes. You can do anything with your life! Including curing your own disease.

Over the years, I've wanted to be an archeologist, astrophysist, animator, eye doctor, neurologist, contortionist (still working on that one...) I want to have an Internet comic, a band, a podcast radio show! I want to write a book every week and read a book every day. I want to save the environment and start a revolution!

You get the idea...my mind is the perpetual motion machine that wants to do everything at once or nothing at all. Once I want to do nothing at all, I'm just depressed and waiting for the next manic boost. Why fight a disease that isn't always cruddy? Mania is a high. Though you learn to dislike it after awhile...

 

Liberalynn

(7,549 posts)
4. Thank you for the insight into this.
Wed May 8, 2013, 04:05 PM
May 2013

I guess I never looked at it from the self esteem point of view or the high. The only part I could relate to was the depression side and the desperate need to have it lift.

Its good to know that you stopped wanting off the meds after they found you the right ones. Hopefully someone will be able to convince my cousin to work with the doctor and find the right one for her.

Thank you again for the insight.

Neoma

(10,039 posts)
5. With bipolar, depression does lift.
Wed May 8, 2013, 04:42 PM
May 2013

Last edited Wed May 8, 2013, 05:13 PM - Edit history (1)

In fact, you can be content with neither up or down for a long while. It's just that you have roller coaster emotions. Medicine doesn't cure that, it just lessens the ups and downs. Unfortunately people with bipolar disease sometimes LOVE the highs. It feels better when you're bipolar I though, since bipolar I has more highs than lows and bipolar II has more lows than highs.

I'm bipolar II, but my main complaint, what got me to seek treatment, was the hypomanic attacks. Which can turn into either mania or depression, or at the same time. You're more suicidal in that state than any other. (At least, that is how it was discribed to me once.) But then again, they gave me the wrong diagnosis and they gave me a SSRI... Which made me 50x worse. Unfortunately since my diagnosis is based on when I reacted horribly to that medicine, I still question the diagnosis at times. And you also have to keep this in mind: depression isn't necessarily a permanent disease, but bipolar is. There's a definite, "I don't want this to define my life" to it, and there's horrible stereotypes attached to people who have bipolar. A lot of people don't want to even be associated with it.

 

Liberalynn

(7,549 posts)
7. I'ts so hard when your misdiagnosed.
Wed May 8, 2013, 05:43 PM
May 2013

I am sorry that happened to you. That's so frustrating.


I was misdiagnosed and given the wrong meds at the begining of my illness as well. When they finally got the right combination I started to do better. My docs are saying I will probably never be a 100 percent free of either the anxiety or the depression, because its a combination of factors that caused it in my case, both biological and enviromental, and it just became part of my personality. They say I can continue to learn to manage it better with meds, therapy, etc. The anxiety is actually the harder of the two for me to get a handle on.

The stereotypes associated with bipolar have to be hard to deal with as well. You have helped me understand my cousin's situation a lot more. I love her and want to help. I just needed to get some insight first.

HereSince1628

(36,063 posts)
6. Mental Health Support Group is intended to provide a place to talk
Wed May 8, 2013, 04:51 PM
May 2013

about how issues of mental illness are affecting you.

There's overlap in readers of these groups, but you may want to visit that group.

Good Luck.



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