Unexpected Pregnancy, Morality, and the Law

[seabeyond]

But is this fair? The social scientist Dalton Conley wrote a provocative Op-Ed, “A Man’s Right to Choose” in the New York Times on this subject a few years ago. He wrote, “But when men and women engage in sexual relations both parties recognize the potential for creating life. If both parties willingly participate then shouldn’t both have a say in whether to keep a baby that results?”

His reasoning sounds sensible, but the practical question of what to do if they violently disagree seems to demand a more tangible plan for resolution, and it's this I discussed with him over coffee last week. As a thought experiment, I tried to imagine I was having an irresolvable conflict with a man over an accidental pregnancy. I told Conley I just don’t see a compromise: It has to be the woman’s choice.

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Maybe we can assert that the woman should have the ultimate legal right to choose, but at the same time admit that right is very complicated and charged and morally fraught, that choosing something against the will of the man involved is an act of some degree of unfairness; It may be a necessary act but not an entirely unambiguous one. Our tendency is to give to the pregnant woman the moral high ground, whatever she chooses, but there may be a more honest, rigorous interpretation that does not involve high ground and instead involves the ambiguous murk in which most of the rest of our lives take place.

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However it’s hard to entirely dismiss Conley’s argument, based as he says on Enlightenment ideas linking rights and responsibilities, that if the man has no say whatsoever in whether the baby is born, he shouldn’t be held responsible for child support. This is another idea that comes up against absolutes that many of us would find hard to surrender: Namely that a man is financially responsible for his child. However, is that always and ubiquitously fair? Again, in a practical world how could we enforce the idea that a man who didn’t really want a child wasn’t responsible for the child? How many deadbeat dads would step forward with their reluctance, their ambivalence, as a way to worm their way out of responsibility? It is very hard to see how this could be written into law, the didn’t-want-him argument, without wide-scale abuse and harm to the children involved. On the other hand, it might be reasonable to recognize that there is a certain amount of unfairness at play. There is the possibility that a woman who has a baby against a man’s will should in some moral, if not legal universe, claim financial responsibility for that child.

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/roiphe/2012/06/unexpected_pregnancy_should_a_man_be_responsible_for_supporting_a_baby_he_didn_t_want_.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

[HockeyMom]

1. A woman can die from pregnancy and birth

A man never will. This is why SHE has to have the final say.

[Tumbulu]

3. Yes !!! (nt)

[Tumbulu]

2. As if child support was something of significance financially

it is preposterous- men pay maybe $600/month and think that this supports a child? Rent alone is a good $500/per bedroom in a house....car payments, food, it is ludicrous.

And to imply that child support somehow compensates the single mother for the 24/7 responsibility..... pain and suffering, risk of life....oh my goodness.....to me it just shows how silly it is for women to continually act as though being a mother "is nothing", having a baby "no big deal" etc. The characterization that mothering is something one can do on the side like some sort of a hobby results in this complete an utter failure of society to respect the absolute work of it all.

Don't get me going.

[seabeyond]

4. my niece gets 350 and health insurance for kid. 600 a month is high

in my neck of the woods.

[Tumbulu]

8. isn't this ridiculous that it is even considered support?

Why is it considered nothing to care for your child?

I feel that this is something that really needs addressing.

Every time some idiot starts complaining about having to pay child support. One needs a good reply...I have yet to come up with one, though.

[seabeyond]

5. my niece was going thru this. didnt like the father. told her tough

unless soem threat of some kind to her or the child, it was her job to look at it 50/50. i am a believer the father has rights and considerations and should be heard. though, thru preg, i also agree that the right totally tilts to the woman. but, i do think that the woman has a responsibility to be fair, if she can. and the father be included.

i do not agree that the man EVER has the right to not pay.

[redqueen]

6. Ah, Katie Roiphe again. Padding her bank account by telling men what they want to hear.

She is an anti-feminist and Slate needs to hear about it.

[seabeyond]

7. i will have to google her. nt