it is interesting reading the stuebenville threads vs the rape porn threads.

[seabeyond]

boys and men that really enjoy their rape porn

maybe we will learn not to protect rapists

this has got to stop

all rape porn is consent

cant go after the boys that were viewing the rape

there is such a disconnect in this whole thing

[seabeyond]

1. ah, and in the new porn thread for the guys to play in, it seems the only thing that constitutes

violence is lack of consent.

weird interpretation of violence

[Blue_Adept]

2. Hey now

We're just asking the question of what people consider violence in sex to be - not everyone sees the world the same. Gathering information and dialogue is good, yes?

[seabeyond]

3. ya. it is really good for a bunch of men to sit around chatting about exactly what type of violence

toward women get them off. and women can get all sorts of fuzzy warm feeling listening to men getting all excited over abusing us. sure.

makes for a very welcoming environment for women

[seabeyond]

4. because you know, in real life and certainly on the net men like to uses these types

conversations to insult women, humiliate them, keep them in their place with their enjoyment of abuse, (rape threats, ect) to feel more like men

[seabeyond]

5. why is it so hard for men to "feel" like real men? why do they need commercials and porn and movies

to constantly tell them what a man is? why is it they need to abuse women and control women to feel like a man?

why is it so hard for men to be men?

lets explore. cause conversation is good, no?

[One_Life_To_Give]

23. Insecurity

IMO most guys are alot less secure in themselves than they pretend. Craving a validation of themselves and their worth. It sets up an environment that is ripe for some to engage in negative behaviors associated with the unmet need.

[LanternWaste]

10. One need simply look up two words in a contemporary dictionary to find out the answer.

"We're just asking the question of what people consider violence in sex to be..."

One need simply look up two words in a contemporary dictionary to find out the answer. "Violence" and "Sex". The logical extrapolation from that (if one is honest with oneself) becomes quite obvious and rather matter of fact...

[seabeyond]

11. you would think. with our brilliant duers.... ya know. but no. not that simple. we totally

change the definition of violence.

really says where the problem lies.

that we cannot even recognize violence when sexually portrayed against women.

[seabeyond]

6. omg. the number of people in that thread that ONLY define violence by yes or no. nothing to do

with the actual definition of violence. violence is not violent UNLESS the person didnt say, do NOT kick my ass, and beat the shit out of me.

wow

no wonder they are clueless and unable to hear in the rape porn threads. this says so much.

let us commence to normalize beating the shit out of the woman. unless she says no of course. but then, women that have been adused. what happens if you say no? i imagine you get the shit beat out of you that much worse.

nothing like normalizing violence toward women cause it is all good and a fuckin turn on.

ya. that violent porn has done nothing to our society or our men. nuthin' at all

[seabeyond]

8. du has well and truly done everything to silence the woman... unless she plays with da man.

i want the dude..... to answer, why men have such a challenge simply being a man. why a man needs this shit to define who he is as a man.

[NuclearDem]

29. I guess I should clear up what I said in that particular thread.

When I meant consent, I meant a lot more than just a simple yes/no. Coercion in the porn industry is about a lot more than rape on camera--a lot of it involves exploiting women and men who have no other option than to be in these videos to make ends meet.

If two people in a healthy relationship want to pull out the whips and spankings, more power to them. The porn industry on the other hand is just another aspect of rape culture that keeps both women and men relegated to sex objects for others to enjoy.

[seabeyond]

9. define violence. consent. and we do not have a problem boys and girls. nt

[xulamaude]

12. Maybe we ought to throw in what "is" is?

All of this (and no, I haven't seen the thread you refer to... yet) has put a loop of Bill Clinton weaseling around with the definition of "is" during his grand jury testimony back in the day in my head.

Is sex sex? Is oral sex sex? What is sex?

Well, that depends on what the definition of "is" is...

I imagine that one of the best things about being a man is that you can pretty much have everything every which way you want it including arguing the definition of the simplest, historically solid words such as "sex" and "violence" and yes, even "is". ffs.

Heck, while we're at it let's debate the nebulous nature of "yes" and "no"!

[seabeyond]

13. yes. or no. wait, yes, lets talk about the yes, no. we have a poster that argues from a

study in the 80s of college girls. like 39% said they said no but meant yes, sometime in their YOUNG sexual experience.

the post actually argued, so women do not always mean no.

yes. or no. of course.... we have already been there.

[xulamaude]

15. What's weird about the idea that supposedly girls

'say no but mean yes' is that in my lifetime (raised feminist in the 70s btw) with all of the women and girls I've know and had conversations with about this... phenomenon... is that not one had ever done that or known another female person who had claimed to do that. Not one.

However many, many women have reported that they didn't feel that they had the option to say no at all - my own mom for example.
So I guess we've come a long way baby that we can at least argue the definitions of yes and no...

[seabeyond]

17. for a man to use it as an excuse that no means yes is wrong. as far as i am concerned, tough shit

for the girl. she had better damn well learn how to say yes if she wants sex instead of feeling she gotta say no so she wont be a slut.

do without a couple times and maybe it will be a lesson learned

instead of .... men coerce.

[xulamaude]

18. Ah, the magic word

coerce. Yes.

[PassingFair]

14. Made me wonder if they would get off on a "depiction" of the Steubenville rape(s).

They "can't choose their kinks" you know.

[BainsBane]

16. "Indian gang rape," "military women raped," and "drunk girl rape"

were leading results when I entered "rape porn" into Google search.

[ismnotwasm]

22. Yup

I wish we could post links to what we're talking about, best way to call bullshit on it.

[BainsBane]

24. Someone said

If you're going to google egregious stuff, you're going to find egregious stuff. I pointed out that was the subject of these threads, rape porn. I seriously doubt there is any rape porn that isn't horrific. The word rape should clue people in to that.

[seabeyond]

19. asolutely, they fuckin do. take it person. any woman on du that was rapes, KNOWS they would get off

on their rape too.

further. if we talked about the pain and humiliation of that rape, who is to say they are not jacking off as they read.

that is the point these men do not get.

they have set up a lot of women on du to feel disgust toward them

now, do they really expect women who are raped not to now look at these men and saying.... creep. are you getting off when i talk about my experience?

how are we expected NOT to feel that way

[smirkymonkey]

33. +1000

Been away for the week where my sister's husband has DU blocked on their computer. Nice to see the same old bullshit is still alive and well on DU. :sarcam:

[MadrasT]

20. I am getting a little burned out on the rape-porn-and-sex threads.

It is not an interesting topic of conversation to me, and a lot of these threads seem to be designed to foster intimidation and bullying in the name of sek-shoo-ul FREEEEEEEEEEEdumb!!1!!11!

I get this weird vibe that some "liberals" here are adopting the repukes strategy of CONTINUALLY KEEPING RAPE IN OUR FACES so women don't ever forget that WE MIGHT GET RAPED if we get out of line.

Fuck that noise.

This all-rape-all-the-time version of DU is getting tedious... and I am not intimidated in the least.

[smirkymonkey]

25. +1000

[seabeyond]

21. ok. verdict is in. you HAVE to change the definition of rape and violence in order to get off on

rape and violence. literally.

we have been approaching this all wrong. we were actually using the known defined word. what we need to do is make up the definition when discussing rape and violence. but ONLY when it is sexual

[Niceguy1]

26. ,this is what the topix were people could just talk indefinitely about it

and there won't be agreement.

but in the end it comes down to consent. If the person to give legal consent then there choices should be respected.

[seabeyond]

27. Wrap it up in a pretty bow and ignore all the smelly nasty shit.

Doesn't work that way bro.

Bottom line

[nomorenomore08]

28. Giving "legal consent" only means that it's not a criminal act.

Doesn't mean that what's going on is okay on a larger ethical or societal level.

*Edit: corrected spelling.

[Niceguy1]

30. I had to say

Legal to exclude child porn.....if a woman and a man freely give consent to perform an act then it should be respected. End of story. Do we want to be like the rebulicans and tell people what they should amd shouldn't do in the bedroom?

[nomorenomore08]

31. Firstly, there's a difference between doing something "in the bedroom" and distributing it

for mass consumption. Secondly, I didn't say anything about stuff being illegal - in fact, I explicitly said otherwise. But when images of simulated sexual violence that, in many cases, are indistinguishable from the real thing, proliferate the way they have on many websites, one certainly has the right (if not the duty) to be unnerved by it.

[seabeyond]

32. no. we do not have to respect something just cause it is allowed. you do not get to tell me i have

to "respect" something. if someone wants to do something, that is their choice. i get the choice of "respecting" or not. but that is really not the point.

there is so much that is coerced, so much that is rape, so much that is women and children held captive and forced. you and your continually ignore that part of it to wrap it up pretty. and NO, i really do not "respect" that. but, that is not really what this post is about. you totally missed it.

steubenville and rape porn fantasy... the connection to. where do you think these criminals learned this behavior. that would be the parallel. how the boys with the video, getting off on a RAPE, got it dude, a fuckin RAPE, cannot/should not be prosecuted with a criminal act in their possession.

how cavalier you ignore the real painful, criminal behavior to DEMAND people fuckin RESPECT men getting off on rape.

like i said. you want to wrap this up all pretty and plant a bow on it. you choose to ignore the stinky shit. that is YOUR bad. how about you RESPECT the victims. what a thought

[LanternWaste]

34. With both precision and relevance, why exactly should I choose to respect that

" it should be respected..."

With both precision and relevance, why exactly should I choose to respect that for which I may already have little to no respect?

Is not respect something to be earned and then engendered? If so, how precisely is my respect being earned, and what is the mechanism used to earn it?


"Do we want to be like the rebulicans (sic) and tell people what they should amd shouldn't do in the bedroom?"
Haven't seen anything to that effect (however, I do understand the need to place a premise in the mouths of others from which to argue an irrelevant point); you will of course, point out to your audience a specific post which states that two consenting adults should be denied the freedom to enjoy the other, yes?

[JI7]

35. probably the same ones who view the guys on "catch a predator" as victims

[JI7]

36. also why do some keep bringing up that Fifty Shades Crap ?

because i don't know any women here who likes or defends that crap.