I'd given up on DU

[gaspee]

And left for quite a long time after my membership expired. The gay purge, the anti-feminist brigade, the third-way'ers, the my president right or wrong cheerleaders, etc. The gun nuts shouting down any calls for gun control, no matter how minor. My own life being busy - but mostly the attitudes toward feminists and lgbtq. I'd found other places on the net where just getting people to acknowledge the basics wasn't like pulling freaking teeth.

But the members of this group inspired me to come back. Leaving gave the people who won't recognize women as having legitimate societal complaints, including how language influences thought and behavior, the space to themselves - which is what they really want. Sit down, shut up and make me a sandwich seems to be their attitude.

I've been on DU since 2003 or so - my first username and account access was lost when I had a computer failure and then ended up switching ISPs. I signed up for a new account when my old one was not retrievable. Due to the generosity of DU'ers, I'd been a star member most of that time. I don't know how often I will post because I am not really a joiner, but I've paid for a star because I hate the stupid ads and I am going to try to post more often. I'm back to my habit of checking in and reading LBN a few times a day.

So for every detractor and anti-feminist out there, there are plenty of people like me who agree with you all. Not on everything, of course, and I am a bit more radical than most of you, I think. It just gets tiring, having to go over Feminism 101 with people who are purposefully obtuse.

I get angry every time I read another story of a woman killed by her partner / ex-partner and if women killed men at the same rate, I believe it would be dealt with as a major societal issue. Instead, the VAMA barely passed. Violence done to women by men is my one issue, if I had to pick one. I think rape-culture and the degradation and devaluing of women leads to violence. I think anti-feminists lead to violence against women. I think language leads to real violence against real women. Change comes from the ground up and fighting the language fight may see ridiculous to some but they're either in denial or happy with the way things are. I can't tell, most of the time.

If I had the time, I would post in this group, every single day, the cases of murder of women by men, kind of like the gun control advocates post shooting deaths. But like I said, I am not a joiner. I'd also probably spiral down into depression if I had to do that on a daily basis.

I'm not up on all the backstory of feuds between groups and I don't really care to know. On DU2, I had a huge ignore list. I'm building it again. I don't need to even see the posts of people who deny that patriarchy even exists or that it may be actually harmful to women and to a lesser extent, men. People like that are either purposefully obtuse or really, really, really dumb.

[seabeyond]

1. i am lovin' seeing your name here. if only so many of the other women that walked, would

decide to be a voice again. i will anticipate your even more radical, radical self.

to me it is obvious. in all thing. behavior. gotta dig a weed out by root, not just tear off leaves. gotta get to the basis of the cancer, not just the surface. i get frustrated with those that excuse basic, simple disrespect toward women, yet cry over the suicide of a kids that is bullied by the disrespect.

to me, that is the ultimate of hypocrite.

if a person is going to call the disrespect of women simply as boys will be boys, or the biology of boys and dismiss it. then do not dare shed a tear when that disrespect extend to a gang rape and putting it on the net for ALLS entertainment and enjoyment to get off on.

[seabeyond]

2. kicking you back up,. lol.

taking kid to school, so will be back later to reply to other posts. but.... your voice needs to be heard.

[boston bean]

3. Hey Gaspee! Thanks for the post.

You are not alone in your feelings!

Hope to see you around more often!

[hlthe2b]

4. Welcome back!

And fwiw, I think this group has worked well with the other feminist groups for quite some time now. Most members of each of the groups--who might have been around during that time-- have made amends with each other and moved past it.

I'm glad to see you.

[ismnotwasm]

5. I remember

I have one foot out the door all the time, but--DU is a habit. I still don't post all that much outside of this group.

I'm very glad to see you.

[gaspee]

6. Thanks all

I keep weird hours so pop in when I can.

[redqueen]

7. I've really enjoyed reading your posts...

Like you I took a break from here. I realized that outside of dedicated feminist forums, it is everywhere.

And you're right. If women were murdering their male partners or exes at the rate of three per day on average, just in the US, you're goddamn right it wouldn't fade into fucking background noise. It'd be rightly called out as a huge, serious fucking problem. But... it's only women. And teenage girls. The world cares just a little more when it's not grown women, for some strange reason. (yes that last part is sarcasm)

[Helen Reddy]

8. Kicked.

DU is not the place for anything more than Feminism 101, to be sure. Not only due to the willfully obtuse crowd, but their female allies.

I whole-heartedly agree with your comment about murder and rape being a societal issue if the stats did a 180. But guess what? that is pure foolishness isn't it?

Welcome back, and what keeps me going is I KNOW other like-minded women are reading, are thinking, every time a post goes up. Rome wasn't built in a day.