Institutional sexism is closer to home than you think

[redqueen]

Not a very well-edited article, but still interesting.

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/institutional-sexism-is-closer-to-home-than-you-think-8130535.html

...

We tend to associate the label ‘institutional sexism’ with big, professional organisations or public bodies – the criminal justice system, for example, or the police force; a particular company or a political party. But the entries sent in to the Everyday Sexism Project this week revealed a deeply ingrained form of what might be described as institutional sexism much closer to home – within the supposedly safe and nurturing institution of the family.

...

We know from the thousands of stories sent to us from around the world that sexism is endemic – that it is a constant force against which women battle daily. But it was still a shock to realise just how early and from what close quarters so many young girls are facing sexist attitudes.

...

How can we expect to break the cycle of sexism in wider society if it is normalised and reinforced by the family, the first powerful institution we ever encounter? What does it mean to a little girl to watch as a child when people congratulate her parents on having a boy at last? How can we hope to open people’s eyes when those they trust the most have inserted layers of gender prejudice into the earliest formation of their fundamental world views?

...

Of course these cases are not universal – there are wonderful, supportive families smashing gender prejudice and championing their children’s confidence and individuality. But to hear so many stories from women facing such extreme sexist attitudes within their very own families – to realise this prejudice is so powerful and normalised that it can invade even the most loving relationships - is a shocking testament to the scale of the problem.

[ismnotwasm]

1. My Dad

Thought it perfectly acceptable to pinch my ass when I was around 14.--No, he didn't 'overtly' molest me, he's an old school sexist pig. I won't even start on some of the stupid shit he says. He once bought my mother a new wardrobe in size 8, wanted her to lose weight, she probably was a 10 or a 12 at the time.

Now, in his defense, he also taught me how to do simple repairs, how to wield a hammer, how to sheetrock, do a little plumbing and electrical work and most of all, to never rely on a man--this is because he was of the opinion there are no 'real' men left. Other than himself. Which is pretty fucking funny.

He is so fucked up by the disease of sexism--that, combined with a couple of other issues, turned someone who could have been a great human being into a creep. 'a real piece of work' extraordinaire.

[PassingFair]

3. I'm sorry he was like that.

My own father was practically perfect in my eyes. He was always willing to listen, and almost
every contact with him left me a little bit better person.

My mother, on the other hand, is pretty much nuts.

[ismnotwasm]

4. Aw, it's all good

He's a kind of a parody of a person, like he can't understand what's 'normal' so he picked up some pieces that he could work with and went with it. Unfortunate. He reflects much but by no means all of your standard sexism, then kind of exaggerates them in himself.

I think he's an interesting study, of what a person with a significant personality disorder decides what is 'right' behavior given societal clues. It's more a reflection of society than it is on him.


Edit

Sorry 'bout your Mom as well. It's tough figuring out parents from adulthood perspective. The thing to do, I think for me anyway is to learn from them and let it go