Coping strategies when your candidate is losing in polls #2
Since my previous OP http://www.democraticunderground.com/1251887402 was well received and improved the mood of a lot of people, I felt like I should continue the good work.
The strategies here are numbered from 17 ... please refer to the previous post for the first 16.
17. Get doubly convinced that the opponent has so many endorsements because the opposition has menacing figures who go to the other politicians' houses at wee hours and extort an endorsement. If they didn't fear for their life, they would be supporting your candidate of course.
18. If people cross to the other side of the street upon seeing you, it is not because of your passionately intense gaze or the "ready to fight for my candidate" look -- it is because the whole world is scared of your candidate. Feel proud that your candidate is scaring everyone, especially wall street.
19. Hold conversations with random people - like your brother-in-law's gardener's fiance's veterinarian's babysitter and ask her who she is voting for in a terse voice. When she names your candidate while turning pale, immediately write a post about it. It is valid scientific data and don't let anyone persuade you that it is anecdotal. It may dampen the enthusiasm if the babysitter happens to be under 18 -- but don't be discouraged. Argue that it shows how much young people like your candidate's message.
20. Be convinced that the union bosses are being paid off against the wishes of the rank and file to endorse. Close your eyes and imagine the rank and file going against their union to vote for your candidate. Then enjoy a cheeky grin. Phrases like "cigar-smoke filled backrooms" come in handy in regards to this.
21. Debbie Wasserman Schulz. This is a punching bag ready-made for your candidate. She can be demonized and vilified over and over. That one woman is so powerful, she is threatening your candidate's presidency! It is all her fault.
19. Punctiliously argue that global warming is the main cause of terrorism even though global warming only affects a few terror-prone countries while leaving the rest of the world unscathed.
22. Be convinced that endorsements don't matter. Use phrases like "we the people" or "we the electorate" to marginalize politicians who are endorsing your opponent. Then, as a cherry on top, get convinced that those endorsements will change for your candidate as soon as he starts winning primaries. They will matter then but not now.
23. Name recognition is a useful argument. Don't shake your belief that 80% of the people have never heard of your candidate and as soon as they hear the name, like a post-hypnotic command, the polls will reverse.
24. Don't forget to convince others that socialism is the new economy-savior. Erase whatever preconceived notions people may have of socialism - take those people's minds to Denmark. Don't let it bother you that 96% of the US public has never been to Denmark or Europe for that matter and 75% wouldn't be able to point to Denmark on a map. Denmark has a great name recognition thanks to IKEA and Legos which is how you can make people go "aha!"
25. Electability is critical. Post at least 10 new OPs a day showing how your candidate is much more electable than the opponent. Don't let your audience's struggles to keep a straight face discourage you. Believe to your core that Americans are ready to become Denmark in droves. Republicans and their billions will not be able to convince people otherwise no matter how many negative ads they run. Write repeatedly about this belief. Even 1,500 times is not enough.
26. Find really old posts that paint the opponent as a modern day Genghis Khan or Pol Pot. Copy them, put some parts in bold face and/or italics and repost them. The same post painting an opponent as vile and despicable can be posted hundreds of times. If the audience is turned off by it, state without cracking a grin that you're simply discussing issues and not being malicious. This really helps with frustration.
27. Recycle. Many people have short memories and they cannot recognize something posted even a couple of days ago as a duplicate. You can post the same negative posts this way without burning any calories. Just remember to boldface different sentences each time and the post looks brand new. Even previously hidden posts can get a new life and purpose.
28. Get a screen-saver or wallpaper for your PC that shows bugs crawling all over the screen. This is good for that nostalgic release of endorphins and makes you feel great.
29. Conspiracy Theories. Do not under any circumstances let people shake your heartfelt beliefs. You know in your soul that billionaires, oligarchs, bankers, the establishment and your opponent hold secret telephone conferences and whenever possible, meet in the basement of Koch brothers to plot strategy, tell media what results the polls should have and coordinate endorsements. When it is so clear as night and day, shake head at some people's gall to call it a conspiracy theory.
30. Dead people. Channel your inner 6th sense and proudly proclaim that departed leaders like Lincoln, FDR and MLK Jr. had supported your candidate. They may not have written so in their last will and testament but providing proof is old technology. Beliefs matter.
31. Rappers. Rappers like Killer Mike and Bun B are the absolute key. Swat away any nefarious notions that they are only in it to sell a few records. You know they are the best rappers even though you may never have heard rap in Vermont. Compared to them, JayZ, Waka Flocka, Snoop Dogg, Jay Rule and Kanye are simply amateurs. Don't try to repeat their lyrics though or you may tarnish the image of your candidate. Just remain assured that all African-Americans simply adore and exalt rappers - much higher than John Lewis and will be voting in droves for your candidate. People in obscure sports like MMA also have the same effect on the general public. It is crucial to get these important endorsements this early, as few as they may be.
32. Always know that it is human nature to like benefits. People may be undecided now but the minute they see free healthcare, free tuition and high minimum wage they are bound to change their minds and support your candidate. How to pay for it is simply a distraction and certainly your candidate will figure it out once elected president.
33. Dessert Polls. Elementary and middle school students have consistently picked your candidate's entry into the dessert polls and mock polls. Even though the students don't vote and it only has to do with kids preferring ice cream over cakes, this is significant. As these kids get older, your candidate is a shoe-in for presidency in about 10+ years. Ben and Jerry's endorsement is not going anywhere soon.
34. Bouncies -- never ever forget the bouncies. They give all the posts a festive and jubilant look. In one study it was determined that posts with bouncies get twice as many recs than posts without bouncies.
= new reply since forum marked as read
but thanks anyway 
Because all she elicits are snores. So you do this.
...but IKEA is from Sweden.
It's a masterpiece. Love how you connect the reader with helpful skill building tools. As troubled readers wind their way through the lines of text, your words reveal a precise point where they can easily identify & pause for a reflective moment.
In time, we will see the benefits of your totally selfless & generous gift.
K & R
to allow this one and the previous to still be here?
Not so much. 
You don't say. 
in a long time. Bravo! 
Better get out the
for this one.I think that more eyes on this and the rest of your OPs will illuminate how far Clinton supporters will go to propagate disinformation and belittle others.
Unfortunately, as propaganda pieces go, this is a bit ham-handed.
or isn't, or something......
Awesome job!
