I have a question

[Marrah_G]

If your significant other was an immigrant from a country where Lesbian/Gay relationships were illegal and your partner/spouse wanted you to go with them to visit their family, would you go?

[Wait Wut]

1. No.

Granted, I'll never have to face that dilemma, but there is no way I'd risk my partner being arrested or having to see me arrested...for being in love. That's insanity. Visiting family shouldn't have to be a treated as a criminal act for anyone.

I'd do my best to help save the money to bring a few family members here for a visit.

[Marrah_G]

2. Thanks Wait

I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being over protective of my daughter. She is dating a wonderful, wonderful woman who is originally from Ethiopia and was talking about going to visit her GF's family if the relationship continued to progress. I just needed some impartial advice in case they start to plan a trip. I don't want to be the "meddling" mom.

[Wait Wut]

12. It could be dangerous for her partner's family, as well.

And, you're her mother. You aren't meddling. You're mothering.

[wercal]

3. In this hypothetical...is my partner a straight or gay relationship?

If I'm in a gay relationship, I would not care to go to a foreign land and try to act differently/hide my relationship.

If I'm straight, I'd go...I wouldn't 'boycott' the country to the point of not visiting a partner's family.

Edit - You've answered the first question. I too would be very protective if my daughter wanted to go to Ethiopia with a same sex partner. A quick Google search reveals that Ethiopia is actually considering the death penalty for gay acts. Many young people are somewhat oblivious to how different and draconian other cultures can be...I would keep her far, far away, IMHO.

[Marrah_G]

4. Sorry, I should have been more clear

It's my daughter and her girlfriend. They are young and perhaps a little naive and I wanted to make sure I was over reacting before talking to her about bringing the family here if they want a visit, instead of there. (the there would be Ethiopia). My heart skipped more then a few beat s when my daughter mentioned a possible future trip there.

[wercal]

5. No I don't think you're over-reacting

I just did a search, and found Ethiopia is considering the death penalty for gay acts. This sounds very dangerous.

[Marrah_G]

6. yeah, scared me to death.

If she brings it up again I'm going to print some articles and sit down and have a talk with her.

[wercal]

7. While I know nothing of the situation, I would be worried for your daughter's partner

There could be a dad/uncle/brother/etc., who doesn't approve of her - it may be dangerous for her to go back to ethiopia.

[Marrah_G]

8. Maybe

I'll talk to them. I think it's just that they are young and in love, feeling invincible, etc.

[LeftofObama]

9. Speaking as a gay male. NO WAY!

Just think of some of the discrimination and hatred we face here and multiply it by 1000.

I hope for your daughter's sake, and that of her partner they consider bringing the family members here. It would be safer for all concerned.

[Marrah_G]

10. agree

[obama2terms]

11. No

If possible, save some money and invite them here to the states. It seems too dangerous.

[dbackjon]

13. No. Not a chance

[Fearless]

14. Yes of course.

But I'll also state that my primary MO is not to let anyone define what I can and can't do based on my sexual orientation. Being gay doesn't stop me from enjoying my life as I see fit, regardless of how others feel it should.

I personally will not live my life in fear of anyone or anything. Everyone needs to make up their own minds I suppose. On the other hand, I'd likely show discretion and not be making out in the President/Prime Minister/etc. office. But then again, straight couples probably wouldn't do that either.

[MNBrewer]

15. Depends on how "illegal" it is.

Is it misdemeanor illegal or death penalty illegal.

[Marrah_G]

17. it's in between right now

jailable offense with groups trying to change it to death penalty. The county is Ethiopia.

[dsc]

16. I have to admit, I was going to say it depends on the length of the visit

age of the relatives, etc. But given the information in the thread, I have to say that barring your daughter's girlfriends relatives being utterly incapable of travel, and likely even if that is true, I would say don't go unless your daughter has diplomatic immunity, which I am assuming she doesn't. I honestly can't imagine being in her position, and it would have to royally suck that she can't meet her girlfriend's family if they either can't or won't travel, but it is just too dangerous. I went so far as to take a look to see if there was a country close to Ethiopia where they could go and be safe. Sadly, there isn't. The closest would be Israel in all likelihood with Italy and Spain in second place. Neither are exactly next door neighbors so by that point may as well pay to fly them over here.

[Marrah_G]

18. I'm hoping that when the time comes I can talk them into flying family members here instead

[Zorra]

19. I would probably go, but not advertise while I was there.

I'd be going there to please my partner and have a new experience, not to engage in a revolution I could not win. I'd want her to have a pleasant visit with her family, free of fear of the authorities for all concerned.

This would simply be one of those situations where discretion is the better part of valor.