Texas Judge's Order Upholding 'Bikini Tops For Strippers' Law Is Completely Hilarious

Huffington Post 4/30/13

Texas Judge's Order Upholding 'Bikini Tops For Strippers' Law Is Completely Hilarious

This is one of the funniest, most eloquent court documents we've ever seen.

In allowing the city of San Antonio, Texas, to enforce an order that strippers wear bikini tops instead of nipple-covering "pasties," U.S. District Judge Fred Biery noted that the issue had once again "fallen into the court's lap."

Biery's opinion, titled "The Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Bikini Top Vs. The (More) Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Pastie," said his job was to answer "the age old question, now with constitutional implications: 'Does size matter?'"

Although Biery ruled that San Antonio's strip clubs did not prove their need for an injunction to block a 2012 law requiring exotic dancers to cover their breasts "from the top of the areola" down, he also cast doubt on the city's claim that such regulations would cut down on violent crime, drug dealing and prostitution: