Keeping a straight face at work

[3catwoman3]

This is often a challenge at a pediatric office. Today was one for the books.

I was talking to an 11 yr old boy and his mom, as part of his check up for 6th grade this fall. The mom indicated that he had something he wanted to ask about. She thought is was about his weight. Boy, was she wrong.

The kid had just had the 5th grade class on puberty earlier this afternoon. The information was completely new to him as there had never been any discussion at home about this topic. "He never asked anything," was mom's explanation.

When I asked him what he was wondering about, he said that now that he knew about this, "All I can think about is that I want to fuck someone."



I think I kept a straight face. My brain sure didn't. We proceeded to have a very frank discussion about erections, ejaculations and masturbation, and I offered him some alternative vocabulary choices. Also told mom that it was high time for some conversations on the home front.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

1. That is a delightful story.

Often kids don't ask, and parents have to be a bit pro-active about making sure they get good information.

When my younger son was barely four, he asked me, "Where do babies come from? Is there a store to go to, or what?" I thought quickly, and figured he didn't need anything too graphic at this age, and gave him the daddy plants a seed in mommy version.

A day later he came to me and said, "When you and daddy made me, did you know it was going to be me?" Which is about the most profound question ever, in my opinion. I said, "No, but when you were born and I saw it was you, I was very, very happy."

The next day he came to me and asked, "Why did you and daddy make my older brother first?"

I told him that was something he should have discussed with his brother before either one of them got here.

[3catwoman3]

5. Your story is delightful, too.

It's a good thing I have been a nurse practitioner for 40 years. I'm not easy to shock at this point. Most of the time.

[Phoenix61]

2. How funny

I worked with kids and was always amazed by how honest and open they were when talking about sex. Being able to keep a straight face is very helpful.

[herding cats]

3. This is why I adore children.

They're so painfully frank, and they tend to remind us all of how uptight society can make us.

[Generic Brad]

4. Sounds like he had a painful frank too

[NightWatcher]

6. Nah Doc, I don't wanna play with myself, I wanna fuck somebody!

[Aristus]

7. I try to stay as far away from pediatric patients as possible.

When I have adult patients with sexual concerns, I always speak frankly, using all the proper terminology, and with behavior no different than if we were talking about golf.

I had a patient recently who told me: "You're real matter-of-fact about all this. I feel comfortable talking about these things with you."

Goal accomplished...

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

8. Being matter of fact about things

is always (in my opinion) the best way to go.

I somehow have a knack of dealing with people with disabilities of some sort in that way. It tends to happen at places like the grocery store when I see someone is having trouble getting something down from a shelf or out of a freezer. I simply offer to help and it's always appreciated. I can identify because I recall when my children were babies or toddlers, and how some things were more difficult to do. I always appreciated any help, and I always try to pay attention and offer help to others.

Not quite the same as discussing sexual concerns, but there's a certain parallel.