HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T

[ohiosmith]

LOOK THAT OLD? WELL......

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.   I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
 
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO. 

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
 
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
 
THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.  AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL .
 
'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MORGANNER! 'HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.
 
'WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?' I ASKED. HE ANSWERED, IN 1965.  WHY DO YOU ASK? 'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.
 
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
 
THEN THE UGLY,
 
OLD,
 
BALD,
 
WRINKLED,
 
FAT ARSED,
 
GREY HAIRED,
 
DECREPIT,
 
BASTARD ASKED.. 


'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?’

 Sent from a friend in Calgary.

[lunatica]

1. LOL!

It hits us all at one time or other. It just hasn't hit your dentist yet!

You gave me a good deep laugh. Thanks. Sniff!

[siligut]

2. I lie to myself all the time too

I have a full length funhouse mirror in my bedroom, I don't look at myself in bright sunlight and I know better than to ever ask Mr gut how I look. See, it just takes a little care to believe you haven't changed a bit.

[gratuitous]

3. And after the dentist asked that question . . .

Suddenly Alice wasn't the only one in the room needing a little dental work.

[PassingFair]

4. My husband took me to a Steely Dan concert a few years ago....

I looked around me, and all I could think was
"Why are are these OLD PEOPLE here?"

I was texting my kids, and they were making fun
of me, when suddenly an EMS team went barreling
down the aisle and brought a DEAD GUY up from the
front row. He had had a heart attack!

Now every time we go to a concert, my kids ask us
how many old people croaked.

[dana_b]

5. LOL - love it!!

[Flaxbee]

6. I saw Ashley Judd last night on TV - just a snipped as I was flipping through channels,

and thought, damn! She looks older! (We're the same age, give or take a year).

I know when I'm tired I can look worn out - but I was surprised at her face.

[femmocrat]

7. That is exactly why I stopped going to class reunions.

At the last one I attended, I realized that I couldn't read the name-tags without my bifocals. (And I didn't want to wear my bifocals because they make me look older!)

I don't want to hear about my classmates' grandchildren. Sorry. How did they all get older when I am frozen in time? (yeah, sure...)