The Little Girl and the Atheist

[red dog 1]

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on a plane and he turned to her and said:
"Do you want to talk?
Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger:
"What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh I don't know," said the atheist, "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven, or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

"Okay," she said, "Those could be interesting topics, but let me ask you a question first.
A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff...grass.
Yet a deer excretes little pellets,while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps, why do you think that is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says:
"Hmmm... I have no idea."
to which the girl replies:
"Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven or Hell, or life after death,
when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

[elleng]

1. HAHAHAHA!

[AlbertCat]

11. All religious/atheist rhetoric aside, I can't believe....

..... anyone finds this sophomoric dreck funny..... unless they are like 8 or something.

BTW... smarty-pants girl never explained why the shit was different.

Such a lousy ill thought-out joke.

[auntAgonist]

12. Oh c'mon, lighten up Francis. It's the lounge. n/t

[AlbertCat]

13. Oh c'mon, lighten up Francis.

It's just so awful!


The lounge or the sand box?

[red dog 1]

17. + 1

Some people have no sense of humor at all.

[rug]

14. Come now, Albert, must I explain shit to you again?

It gets tiring.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2128/why-do-some-animals-have-pellet-poop

Bonus info: wombats have cubic shit.

[AlbertCat]

15. It gets tiring.

You again. Speaking of sophomoric....

[rug]

16. Speaking of wombat shit . . . .

now you know it's cubic.

[struggle4progress]

20. How to Make Jelly Wombat Skats!

The dream recipe of 1960!

[rug]

21. I bet there's a mold for that.

[LanternWaste]

28. You deconstructed a joke. Now it's hilarious.

You deconstructed a joke. Now it's hilarious.

[sharp_stick]

2. Shame you got

the characters backwards but it works in the real world with a quick tweak.

[Fumesucker]

3. Literally the first post I have looked at in the Lounge in months

And I find it a bigoted slam based on ridiculous stereotyping.

What a surprise.

[rug]

10. Do you find this statement bigoted: "typical stuff from a theist."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/123050781#post1

I ask because you never replied to it.

[Major Nikon]

38. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water

[uppityperson]

4. What little girl talks like that?

[NightWatcher]

5. So, did they say 'crap' or 'shit' in Sunday school?

[progressoid]

6. There is another version of this that is hiiiilarious too.

A Christian was seated next to a little girl on a plane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk?
Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh I don't know," said the Christian, "How how giving your life over to Jesus Christ means life everlasting in Heaven and saves you from eternity in the fires of Hell?" as he smiled smugly.

"Okay," she said, "That could be an interesting topic, but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff: grass. Yet a deer excrete little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps, why do you think that is?"

The Christian, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm... I have no idea."

To which the girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss eternal life in Heaven or Hell, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

[Binkie The Clown]

7. +1000 ^^^ This one makes MUCH more sense. n/t

[Silent3]

8. Or this version...

A priest was seated next to a little boy on a plane and he turned to him and asked, "Do you like gladiator movies?"

[red dog 1]

18. Good one!

It's an old joke, and there are several versions.

[Lordquinton]

19. This version actually makes sense

[Skittles]

23. yes it does

[pablo_marmol]

24. MUCH better version!! :-) NT

[NeoGreen]

27. DING! We have a winner....

This version is far more representative of the reality of the possible exchange.

[Arugula Latte]

31. This.

[snort]

9. Maybe there's an ignore list in heaven?

Nope, but there is one for reals.

[Iggo]

22. For the reals.

[Xipe Totec]

25. Clever girl. To talk about God you need to know everything about shit.

Because the topic of conversation is shit.

So if you don't know shit, about shit, how can you talk shit?

[northernsouthern]

26. Amazing! I have one like that too.

If I recall correctly it goes...

A strawman was seated next to a little girl on a plane and he turned to her and said:
"Do you want to talk?
Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger:
"What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh I don't know," said the strawman, "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven, or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly exposing his teeth of straw.

"Okay," she said, "Those could be interesting topics, but let me ask you a question first.
A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff...grass.
Yet a deer excretes little pellets,while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps, why do you think that is?"

The strawman, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says:
"Hmmm... I have no idea."
to which the girl replies:
"Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven or Hell, or life after death,
when you don't know shit?"

And the strawman replied..."I don't f@cking know, I am a f@cking strawman, we are a common form of argument and an informal fallacy based on giving the impression of refuting an opponent's argument, while actually refuting an argument that was not advanced by that opponent. We are basically what the uneducated and overtly self righteous use to make themselves feel educated. I mean why would a grown man try to breate a little kid's belief? It is disgusting, and why would I be amazed by something as simple as the shape of fecal matter? DO relious people just think about sht all day...oh wait now it all make sense."






Also tell me if you hear this one

A protestant and an Irish Catholic are in Pan Am Flight 103 leaving Northern Ireland together...

or perhaps...

A Religious nut is parking his truck beside a day care in the Federal building in Oklahoma...

or...

A Dr that performs abortions and a religious zealot are on a plane...

or...

A gay guy walks in to a bar in a christian town (spoiler alert they killed him)...

But hey loved your poop joke, it was really deep.

[In_The_Wind]

29. That little girl could grow up to become president.

[red dog 1]

30. + 1

[Arugula Latte]

32. Riiight. 'Cuz those "smug" atheists are always trying to convert people to not believe, huh?

See progressoid's version. That one is much more relevant.

Also, if the little girl has any evidence for the existence of god, Heaven and Hell, and an afterlife, I'm all ears.

[rug]

33. Some are.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1230&pid=42395

[A HERETIC I AM]

34. To make a stretch that large....

You'll need one of these;

[rug]

35. You're right,.

It's more in the nature of public prayer rather than actual door-knocking.

[Arugula Latte]

36. Err, I'm not going door to door or proselytizing on airplanes.

And, looky here. A prime example, just from today. You don't see atheists doing this shit. http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027754894

[rug]

37. I corrected it. I'll correct it again.

It's more like posting ptayers on facebook.