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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsI am probably going to get slammed for this but I need help understanding some things.
I have been going our Condo By-laws and title 68 of the PA laws about condo association.
I want to write a letter raising my questions:
1--when is the last time they had a meeting? according to by laws and state laws you are to have one meeting a year. So far we have not seen one meeting being held. We have been given a ballot with items to vote on which is sent back to the be tallied by the President Secretary/Treasure. I want to write them a letter letting them know we know they are breaking the rules however they are spiteful bitches. My wife has made a complaint about the bird feeders from people's decks. My wife's view point is that IF this condo association does not want animals within the condo walls why are they encouraging wild animals --not only birds but we have seen squirrels and deer looking round the deck areas for fallen bird feed--to be outside the the building. The president's response was to hand a bird feeder on one of the low trees in front(below)our living room window therefore all my wife hears are birds chirping through out the day and half the time in the evening.
2--the condo beside us was being rented and the owner of that condo is the son of the President of the association. I guess he is divorced from his wife who forced the renter (the only friend and person we trusted) to move out in 20 days because she wanted to move in. The renter told us that the president doesn't want her daughter-in-law to force the renter out. The Renter also said this woman the owner of her condo is worse than the President and secretary/treasure. The renter was forced to be out by a certain date. The woman as yet to move in. Knowing what we do from past renters...techinqually the former renter could make a complaint with the housing association since they forced her out and have yet to fully occupy the residence.
3-- My wife has taken her protest of no animals to our windows. She has placed signs in our windows stating change the rules let pets in. The president and Secretary/Treasure have made comments that they think she should take down her signs.
4-- The condo by laws state that meetings should consist of 25% of the voting association but with only 8 condos that is what 2/3 people? basically all they need to do is have the President the Secretary/Treasure and the President's husband voting for the son or the son there to decide what will happen the all the condos. IF this is happening they are not making the meetings public which PA title 68 and the condo own laws required that they are announced.
Do I risk writing this letter or should we keep my wife's signs up and next time they want to send a ballot make them aware we know their actions are illegal. Am I reading these rules correctly? Are they acting illegal?
Another reason why I am asking is that I don't want to do something that could jeopardize my wife's Notary.
No we cannot move because we would lose too much money and right now until my wife finds a full time job. we are able to tread water in this condo...placing a rent payment onto of our head and utilities would put us underwater.
My wife's health insurance is a joke. We are paying a hundred dollars each month and they are rejecting her doctor's visits. She owe $580.00 dollars in doctor's bills. That is 2 visits to her pcp and blood work the doctor ordered. Doctor won't see her until the bill is paid --which we can understand-- We have fought to get them to cover the bills since it is suppose to be cover by the policy. I told my wife to cancel it that with my new job I can get her covered and myself for 50 dollars. now the insurance company is giving my wife a song and dance that she isn't allowed to cancel and if they can do it it would take 2 to 3 months. I can start her coverage in July when I get coverage BUT why pay for something not working.
Help? or am I wife and I beyond help?
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)Sounds like her insco is yanking her chain. They should pay pcp and blood work.
I think it's a CRIME that the doctor won't see her until the bill is paid. That boils my blood
Response to Dont call me Shirley (Reply #1)
Kali This message was self-deleted by its author.
demmiblue
(36,949 posts)1. Don't know about the meetings. Even if your neighbors in charge are awful, please do not refer to women as bitches. If there is nothing in the by-laws about bird feeders/feeding animals outside, then don't even bother... this has nothing to do with having pets inside your condo. However, you may bring up the fact that rats are drawn to these kinds of situations. Who knows, perhaps you saw one.
2. Nunya business.
3. Most condominiums have by-laws regarding what can be facing out to the street (signs, color of curtains, etc.). Check the by-laws. However, your wife is more likely to solidify their existing feelings than to bring about change. I wouldn't want to live near that, or even become involved in the drama (and I am all for teh animals).
4. IDK
I think you need to do everything and anything in order to ignore some of the goings ons at your condo, even if you and your wife think it is not fair. It is quite obsessive and is probably impacting her health.
hopemountain
(3,919 posts)and observations. life is short - you and your wife may benefit from some outside diversions to shift your focus toward the good things in life (outdoor excursions/field trips, hobbies, concerts, etc.). the change of scenery and situations can do you both good and shift your perspective away from the frustration of condo politics/activism that is ignored and unappreciated. my best to you.
diabeticman
(3,121 posts)passing their doors. I don'i know what to do.
truegrit44
(332 posts)mean but the way you wrote it, it sounds like your taking your dog out for a walk. I just couldn't help thinking that
Sorry, I know this is a serious issue for you..........
Kali
(55,042 posts)thanks!
diabeticman
(3,121 posts)Believe me that is the kindest thing I can call them
Kali
(55,042 posts)please edit
diabeticman
(3,121 posts)Just delete the post to make yourself happy.
Kali
(55,042 posts)you take your chances posting things that are offensive to the majority of people here. you may luck out with a jury once in a while but admins and others will know that you would rather denigrate women than use a more gender-neutral word like asshole, to describe these people you can't seem to get along with.
murielm99
(30,805 posts)the b-word. I have used it here. I guess I won't do that any more.
I have used it IRL to describe men as well.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)now stop posting these stories as a way to give yourself an excuse to call women H--- and B------.
TeeYiYi
(8,028 posts)Seriously, what's the "H" word?
TYY
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)I wondered about the H word as well. Now "harridan" is just a great word all round. I should have picked that as a user name, damn.
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)She is not being one of them, she politely asked you to remove and replace that word with one that is not used to degrade women.
I have not doubt these women may be nasty beyond belief, some people are that way. Some other synonyms that would be appropriate are: nasty, ugly, cruel, manipulative, shallow, petty, brats, immature, mean, spiteful, vengeful, hurtful.
As a woman, I am asking you, would you please change the term?
betsuni
(25,887 posts)This person likes to slip in an offensive "bitch" comment into his sagas and never changes it. Somebody make it stop.
You are such a betsuni.
CreekDog
(46,192 posts)why are you here?
IcyPeas
(21,966 posts)what's more important?
betsuni
(25,887 posts)Oh, so mean dogs are now allowed in the condo? Birds should chirp softly.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)and signs in the windows would not be tolerated for a second.
Most likely, your wife is making even more enemies. Just my opinion.
diabeticman
(3,121 posts)where told by the previous owner there are no assigned space. When I called the woman on the issue she stated she was older she should have preference on any spot she wanted. Not to mentioned people in the other unit told us they really didn't care who had a pet in their condo and who didn't YET they voted No Pets.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)There are a bunch of nosy busybodies in my moms place too.
When my dad was alive, he was in constant fights with them.
I used to tell him the same thing - if you want allies, you just have to be smarter than them...and not as vicious.
I don't think you're going to win on the pet issue. Let it go. Enjoy your life.
diabeticman
(3,121 posts)please to know my wife isn't going to try to kill herself. She's convinced she's already dead and living in some sick version of hell.
I'll be sure to tell my wife to give on the one small thing that would have made this place feel like a home to her.
We had more EFFIN freedom and happiness renting.
I won't bother anyone on this issue again.
IcyPeas
(21,966 posts)Diabeticman - those are your words. By all means just stay put where you are, it sounds great.
DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELF.
MOVE. NOW.
Get an apartment, let your wife live there and you take care of selling your condo that is hell. You have to take the first step.
alphafemale
(18,497 posts)Every corner of the world will be crowded with people oppressing them.
Eternal victims.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)That was not my intention.
demmiblue
(36,949 posts)However, you could choose to park elsewhere as you received more information regarding the women's age. Sure, the older women should not be able to pick and choose her spot, but common courtesy would dictate that you give up the spot for someone who has more mobility issues (imo, anyway). Sometimes you just have to let things go.
Perhaps the people in the other condo really did have an issue with pets in the condos, but couldn't tell you to your face. Human nature, I guess (or maybe they didn't want to get sucked into your drama).
Even though it may seem like it, I highly doubt that everyone in your condo complex is out to get you.
diabeticman
(3,121 posts)demmiblue
(36,949 posts)A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.
The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.
Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.
The younger monk couldnt believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.
Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out As monks, we are not permitted (to touch) a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?
The older monk looked at him and replied, Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?
http://www.kindspring.org/story/view.php?sid=63753
betsuni
(25,887 posts)Avalux
(35,015 posts)First - a question: Are you willing to stay in your condo and continue to be miserable? Is that acceptable to you?
Your living situation, from what I've read in your posts, is taking a toll on both of you personally, and as a couple. Since moving isn't an option, take action on the things you can, even if they're small. From my experience, the most important thing you can do is change your thoughts. If you and your wife spend all your time focused on everything that's going wrong, you are only keeping yourself stuck there in misery.
I know there are people in this world that don't give a crap about you and may even intentionally do things to upset you. But the one thing you have control over is how you react to them, and what you choose to think about and do on a daily basis.
You have a loving wife, you have a roof over your head, you have food and comfort. Your situation may not be ideal, but think about the good things in your life, don't worry about the things you can't control, and refuse to take on a victim mentality. Things will start moving in a different and positive direction if you do.
I'm telling you this because I've been there. I wish you and your wife all the best.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)But your post is good advice.
ret5hd
(20,600 posts)Avalux
(35,015 posts)KamaAina
(78,249 posts)Republican Stepdad is on his condo board in NJ.
ret5hd
(20,600 posts)1) quit saying "bitches"
2) get a life
3) my god, nobody minds a little bit of personal life but no one here is qualified to serve every personal problem you might have.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)Is this a new place you moved into? Were you aware that pets were not allowed? Did they make a new rule once you moved in? That seems unfair if so.
I once lived in a condo where pets were not allowed. I hated the place in any number of ways, but I had moved in with a friend temporarily. They were pretty clear about the rules from the beginning however. I sure would not do that again, but I don't even like apartment buildings. I don't like communal living of any sort.
Now on the bird feeder thing. I would disagree with you on that. I feed the birds wherever I live. That might be the only way that some of the people that live there can interact with animals.
I hope things will work out for you and your wife.
boston bean
(36,229 posts)and move to a single family home.
PRB
(139 posts)I loved it when I lived in a condo, I know people have problems with condos, HOAs, etc. I find everyone being on the same plane makes it more pleasant, but you have the right to speak up. And I don't get how the thread turned into the B word. I think it's unpleasant, sexist, hurtful, and should be reserved for female dogs. It really should have no other connotation.
Hope it works out for you.
mackerel
(4,412 posts)because that is a requirement and they should be held accountable.
The HOA is what is scaring me away from condo living.
For those of you who don't like diabeticman or his threads, please just ignore him. This is the lounge we should be able to call people dicks here with out everyone having a panic attack.
mrmpa
(4,033 posts)1. get your wife's doctor to sign a letter that she is in need of a therapy animal. The Association has to abide by tthe FHA and the ADA in regard to that issue.
2. Yes they have to have one meeting per year. This is called the Annual Meeting, where elections occur and the budget for the year is presented to the owners.
3. Scare these assholes and run for the board.
AngryOldDem
(14,061 posts)Seriously, if the place is that so gawd-awful hateful, and such a threat to your mental and physical well-being, get to a lawyer, or legal aid, or whatever, and see about getting out of your rental agreement. You seem to have enough documentation to make a case for yourself.
Or, you can just continue to post complaints and cries for help -- and still do nothing.
Your choice.
PasadenaTrudy
(3,998 posts)I think he should sell and get the hell out. Rent a small house or something.
AngryOldDem
(14,061 posts)But nevertheless, nothing is worth all this headache. Even if there are conditions about getting out, he should have enough of a case to take to a lawyer.
What gets me is, he comes asking for help, gets a lot of good and varied advice, ignores all of it, attacks those who mean well and are just offering their opinions, and then comes back with even more issues.
I've chimed in only one or two times on this soap opera and my answer is the same as yours -- he needs to leave and find a place of his own where he and his wife can finally find some peace.
PasadenaTrudy
(3,998 posts)I agree 100%. Shit or get off the pot, as the saying goes.
Orrex
(63,318 posts)It's the only way to be sure.
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