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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsAnybody watch Hoarding Buried Alive last night, the hoarder could not be helped.
What a sad episode.
The poor woman needs more help then just cleaning her house.
Suich
(10,642 posts)I'm with you...her house was the least of her problems.
Didn't she have another house/apartment and some storage units?
She had another apartment and several storage units.
Think of the money she blew.
The end of the show was really sad, she had her place filled up again.
I hope her friend got her into some mental health home.
She needs it.
Something not right there.
Always wearing PJs and hats.
She doesn't ALWAYS wear PJs.....irl
HipChick
(25,485 posts)She had gorgeous Hollywood teeth..
I bet she blew money into the 1,000,000's.
To bad she didn't get her money per month.
LancetChick
(272 posts)This woman was a hoarder before her toilet broke, but once her toilet was out of commission, rather than get someone to fix it, she started pooing in bags and piling them all around the house, then pooing in buckets and dumping it in her back yard. She microwaved food next to mountains of poo bags. I'm still recovering from that show, so I'm afraid I missed last night's hoarding show.
texanwitch
(18,705 posts)This woman was a clean hoarder.
She said she didn't eat in the house.
This woman was so out of it.
Her apartment was just full of stuff.
They didn't show a bathroom.
HipChick
(25,485 posts)texanwitch
(18,705 posts)I don't think she ever grew up.
TexasBushwhacker
(20,190 posts)I struggle with both - depression and hoarding. When the depression gets worse, the hoarding gets worse. Then my place turns into such a hellhole that it's overwhelming. I get more depressed, and around and around. OCD is common with hoarders too. They are often the ones that are "collectors" whether its animals, clothes or memorabilia. I was a trashy hoarder. I just never threw stuff away. I got kicked out of an apartment in 2008. Since then I've lived with roommates. I still get messy, but I just can't let it get as bad because I'm not living alone. Many times a hoarder can pin point when things started getting out of control; some kind of traumatic event. It's often the death of a parent, spouse or child. In my case my messiness got out of control when my mother became terminally ill. After she died, things continued to get worse.
Sometimes the hoarding/squalor come from physical issues like chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia and chronic pain. In those cases, getting the hoarders place cleaned up so they can start from scratch can be very helpful, but they will still, need help with maintenance, keeping the place clean. The elderly are often hoarders because they just can't give things up.
I think there might be a genetic component to it as well. I know that what might be tolerable to me might be hopelessly cluttered to someone else. When I see pictures of homes, usually contemporary, with the white walls, bare floors and very sparse doodads, it gives me the heeby jeebies. It looks like a doctor's office or a museum to me, not someplace to live. My father's mother was a hoarder and an alcoholic. I remember there was one bedroom in the house where the door couldn't be opened. Junk had fallen against it from the inside. I could only open the door a few inches, but I could see junk piled waist high. When she moved out of the house after my grandfather died. My dad was in charge of cleaning the house out in order to sell it. He as he cleared away the junk, he started finding pint size and even half pint sized empty whiskey bottles hidden all over the house, in cabinets, drawers, under furniture. He started putting them on the kitchen table, just to see how many he would find. It ended up being over 100.
My mother's mother and my mother were organized hoarders. They would save every single thing with the idea that "I could use this someday". Their houses were clean on the surface, but every drawer, every cabinet, every closet was full of stuff. My mother lived alone in the 4 bedroom house I grew up in. Every bedroom had a walk in closet and my dad had built in cabinets and bookshelves in some of the rooms. Everything was full to bursting. She had clothes she hadn't worn in 20 years. But she wouldn't let me start cleaning things out before she died, even though I was living with her, because that reminded her she was going to die.
Sometimes there's some bad family dynamics for hoarders who have spouses and/or children. In many of these families the wife is expected to do all the cleaning and picking things up and putting them away. This can be the case even if the wife works outside the home. The husband expects her to pick up his dirty underwear, the kids toys, glasses and dirty dishes left around the house. They think that cleaning is "woman's work". It's not surprise that she resents this, and things start piling up.
FWIW, hoarders usually know they have a problem. We have self help groups, but in person and online. Hoarders have a problem tackling it because they're overwhelmed and don't know where to start. It isn't unusual for things to get messy again after getting everything cleaned up. A fresh start is great, but most need ongoing help in the form of therapy and sometimes medication. There's a lot of shame and it's very hard for hoarders to ask for help.
texanwitch
(18,705 posts)My sister is a hoarder, came to it late in life.
Her old house is full of stuff she is always going to get rid of, but never does.
I am sure the house will fall down before anything happens.
The woman on this show was so attached to her stuff.
She said they were like her children.
She was facing being homeless because she was running out of money.
She had a big trust fund but was only a few months away from being evicted.
She had a good friend trying to help her.
I tried to help my sister, it didn't help either.
From watching the hoarders shows there seems to be a reason for the hoarding.
Divorce, death, injury, or depression.
This show was so sad to me because it felt like I was watching my sister.
LeftInTX
(25,337 posts)I'm not a hoarder, because it would only add to my problems. My husband is kind of a hoarder, but if I yell at him, he cleans things up - kinda.
My house is a total mess. I was cleaning it in January, then my back went out. I am a slob, cuz I'm always incapacitated. Yet, I meet people with problems worse than mine and they aren't as messy as me. I don't know how they do it.
pipi_k
(21,020 posts)I have a history of depression, I have a very real fear that I could end up a hoarder myself.
For now, I'm just in the "clutter" category.
I keep stuff, but after a while I do get sick of looking at it and throw it away.
One very strange episode involved keeping a bunch of turkey and chicken wishbones. Then there was the gel capsule period...I was taking supplements but couldn't swallow the whole pill, so I emptied the contents into water and took it that way, but didn't throw the outer shells away for a long time. Eventually I did, though.
I have mixed feelings watching those shows. On one side, I get so frustrated with people who won't give up stuff I would throw out.
On the other side, I understand the feelings behind getting rid of things that hold memories or that might have a future use.
Whenever I feel like my own home is a mess, I just watch one of those shows and feel a lot better. We can't exactly eat off the floors here, but there are no vermin or piles of stuff that would make the place a health or safety hazard.
retrogal
(65 posts)I also think it is genetic. My father was what we called a 'pack rat' but my mother was a cleaner so it was a real struggle for them. His family also hoarded. It was good for us as the house was very old with generations living in it over the years. Lots of antiques and old newspapers over a hundred years old. 3 stories and a full cellar full of goodies.
For me I do have a tendency to hoard but it is hard as many things I have were given to me that belonged to family members that have now died. I am emotionally attached to these items. Some belonged to my great great grandmother.
I have a daughter who is a hoarder but a clean one.
Sometimes the hoarding/squalor come from physical issues like chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia and chronic pain.
I have these and there are days I just can't do things and it is so frustrating! I also have problems with depression
Lex
(34,108 posts)At least the ones to the extreme that they show on that tv program.
olddots
(10,237 posts)our daughter is OCD anorexic etc..... I sure hope the producers of the show set aside a few bucks to help the people the show is about.
Myrina
(12,296 posts)Lots of other things at work that they have to address before they can address the hoarding, and sometimes the denial, grief or fear involved is just too deep.
I'm the opposite - I don't keep anything. Comes from sorta the same emotional place - the fear of people/things getting too close (hoarders 'build a cocoon' for protection, - I refuse to attach to anyone or anything).
Very complex problem, much bigger than just 'having too much stuff'.
Katashi_itto
(10,175 posts)It can happen to anyone
KurtNYC
(14,549 posts)A response to the feelings of loss. It is almost is people feel they have lost too much and can't bare to let one more thing go.
I haven't seen the series you are mentioning but I saw the prior one -- "Hoarders" (?) I really thought their approach was ridiculous. They just show up with that GOT JUNK truck as if they are going to take everything and declare "Mission Accomplished" and then somewhere in the middle of the show they talk briefly about the psychological / emotional side of the issue but there isn't enough time in the span of the show to effectively address the underlying issues so of course their efforts are doomed. But TV is all about confrontation on screen and feeding the viewer a sense of superiority.
pipi_k
(21,020 posts)actually tell us, but my hope is that breaking through the initial denial prompts these people to seek further treatment to address the underlying issues.
If not, then nothing will have been solved except they had their living spaces cleaned up for a little while until the problem rears its head again.
TexasBushwhacker
(20,190 posts)They psychologist is generally the first person to talk to the hoarder. Once they assess the situation and the hoarders issues, the professional organizers and cleaning crew come in. They always have a "footnote" at the end of the program that tells about the therapy and/or aftercare the hoarder is getting. Often family relationships are re-established and improved.
I think real world, non-televised are sometimes done over a longer period of time, but in some cases the hoarders have been given a deadline by city inspectors or animal control.
Demo_Chris
(6,234 posts)Now I know that I am just a lazy slob.
Actually I am a bit of a hoarder. I tend to hang onto everything, largely because I might one day need it, but also because... well lots of reasons, most of which come down to being poor. But I am NOTHING like the people on that program, and I can say that the show helped motivate me to never become like them.
In any case, I think the show is sad.
TexasBushwhacker
(20,190 posts)They have the hoarders and their loved ones work with psychologists as well as cleaners/organizers. They say at the end of the program what kind of follow up care they are receiving.
As I said, most hoarders know there is a problem. Here is a website set up by a recovered hoarder.
http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/
And here is a message board for people working on their hoarding problem.
http://takeonestepatatime.proboards.com/
This is a recent book about hoarders and their treatment. It's called "Stuff".
http://www.amazon.com/Stuff-Compulsive-Hoarding-Meaning-Things/dp/0547422555/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1364585303&sr=1-1&keywords=stuff+hoarding
Loryn
(944 posts)I worked with a man who was a hoarder. He was an older man, whose wife used to call in hysterics because she couldn't take it. She left him, and he died when his house caught fire, and he was trapped inside.
It was horrible.
hunter
(38,313 posts)It didn't stop, even in the assisted living places. She'd carry at least a hundred pounds of stuff around on her wheelchair, wrapped up and tied on with plastic grocery bags. Then she'd get kicked out of assisted living places for hoarding. Someone would "tidy up" her room, throwing away her treasures (which could be anything -- pine cones she'd picked up outside, fast food salt and pepper packets, etc.., etc..., etc...) and she would freak out.
It's such an unexplainable thing. Maybe that tendency had some survival value in human evolution, but there's a point where keeping stuff becomes a liability. My grandma was well past that point. The smell of her house was indescribable. She would have been one who died in a fire or who suffocated beneath a collapsed stack of newspapers and magazines had she been allowed to remain there.
TexasBushwhacker
(20,190 posts)I definitely think that living through a time when there wasn't enough food, there wasn't money for clothes or shoes, etc. can make them hang onto things that are essentially worthless. I already mentioned my dad's mother who never threw away her liquor bottles. As much as she drank, it would have made sense for her to buy liquor by the gallon, but she was the type of drinker where whatever size bottle it was, she would drink until the bottle was empty. So she only bought pint and half pint bottles.
My mother's mother saved all her empty pill bottles/ She was a hypochondriac, so that meant hundreds of pill bottles. She had been a seamstress and professional milliner for years, so she wouldn't get rid of old clothes without cutting off the buttons and lace.
I had a problem with hanging onto pieces of furniture that had been in the family for a long time, but after a while I just kept telling myself that the "stuff" wasn't the loved one. Eventually you just have to accept that it's just a piece of wood. I gave a lamp that had belonged to my great grandmother to a cousin, but otherwise I sold most of the furniture in late 2011 to prepare to move temporarily into my brother's house. I freecycled a lot of stuff. I gave a big box of classic movies on VHS to some film students at University of Texas. I gave away my mother's soup tureen and punch bowl because I don't make soup or serve punch. Yeah, I could have had a garage sale and make a few bucks, but I'd rather just find a good home for things and keep my weekend free.
It's funny. My mother was a pack rat. She accumulated enough "stuff" to fill the walk on closets, cabinets and drawers of a 4 bedroom house. When I was living with her when she was dying, she wouldn't let start going through her 20 years worth of clothes because that reminded her she was dying. Her sister had been a bit of a pack rat, but her family had a fire. The upper floor of her house and attic were destroyed. She lost some collectibles like Gone With the Wind paper dolls and a genuine Shirley Temple doll. BUT no one in the family or their pets were hurt. After that she wasn't much of a saver any more, because she knew that "stuff" doesn't matter.
texanwitch
(18,705 posts)He would take things apart and keep the screws in jars.
He kept a lot of stuff.
He was poor when he was kid, I am sure that left an impression on him.
I don't think he was a hoarder.