I used to wear contacts full time, but then my allergies got so bad it wasn't worth it... and then I had an eyeball go south on me so that it's a real risk to wear them in that eye. I do still wear them in one eye when doing shows. But put that all together, and I've had a bunch of decades dealing with the common problems - the natural urge to close your eyes down when being poked, dryness/irritation that makes it tough to remove a contact because it's stuck like glue, and frustration/discomfort/anxiety making all that even worse. Here are the things that have been important for me:
1) Are you using dailies? They're much bigger than some older soft contacts (boo!), but they also don't get all caked with eye protein as easily to assist them in sticking to your eyeball and/or causing irritation (yay!).
2) Lube, lube, lube. After wearing them for a while, depending on wind, your eyes' natural levels of moisture, irritation, and whatnot, you may have some sticking. It can hurt, but I'm sure you've experienced that. The answer isn't to mess with the contact more, or the size of your finger, but to get that contact nice and slidey. I don't even try to remove the contact on round one. Instead, I use a contact lens rewetting drop. I usually use a product called Refresh Contacts, that you drop right into your eye. I'll find a comfortable spot, put in a drop, and with my finger rub my closed eyelid gently to help the drop get under the contact and lube up my eye. On a bad day, when I've had allergies, sun, and wind all ganging up on me, I may even do this 2-3 times, 3-5 minutes apart. You learn how it starts to feel when that "sticky" contact starts letting loose because you have sufficient lubrication in there to break the seal. Then, with one hand I make sure my eyelid is way open (easy to squint, too, when you're dry!), and with a dry, clean finger, I put it right on the center of the contact and shift it a bit. With proper lubrication, the contact should stick much more to your finger than your eye. No shifty? Lube your eye some more. If I've got some shift, I go sideways a bit and use a second finger to pinch the contact and out it comes. If you don't get a shift, and the lens is stuck to your eyeball, it's not coming out.
3) If you find that dry(ish) eyes are a problem, take flax seed oil capsules once a day (with food, because they burp nasty!). My ophthalmologist taught this trick to me. Some of us don't have a lot of fatty acids in our tears to help with lubing our eyes up. Yay, flax seed oil can increase that, and it's also good for us in other ways. It takes a week or two of taking the capsules before you get a ton of change.
4) Aftercare is important. If your eyes are irritated, make sure you use a good non-medicated lubricating eye drop shortly after taking the contact out. I use GenTeal Tears, which my opthalmologist recommended (also Systane makes a good, recommended product).
The bottom line is that there are tools such as the ones that paramedics use, to remove someone's contacts. But if you can get one in with no problem, it's not the size of your fingers that's the issue. Your eyes and your contacts probably don't want to part ways. Removing a contact by force with one of those little suction devices is extremely painful if your contacts are stuck, and it'll just make the anxiety, shaking hands, and fighting worse. You want this to be relaxed and smooth, no friction!
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