hmmmmm. so i bumped into an old bf on signal.

[mopinko]

he was in a ltr w a hard woman to love. love her he did, but we were a regular thing for the better part of tfg's term, and he loved me, too.
tfg being the thing i'm interested in. we meet in oct '15 when this whole nightmare was a joke. he was one who took the-occupy, bernie, dump- route. we could talk issues and never disagree. it ended in jan '20, nothing to do w politics. it got pretty hot.

i hear from mutual friends he's gone full q. they've all disowned him. he was a hard core catholic when we met, but his priest kept nagging him about livong in sin. he bit hard on the pedo thing, tho, which makes me go hmmmm.
well, i saw him and i poked him w-you still in business? (weed) you still hate me?
he- hate you, no. fear ya.
well, i sent a few more words and ended w- i take that as a no.

a week later, this a.m. i get- i'm thinkin about it.
we exchange a few words and end w- talk soon.

now, in the meantime, he married the lady. i've wondered if she's been able to keep him on the porch, but she prolly knows better than to try. i have to admit i miss him. miss him as a friend.
i feel like it's my civic duty to shine my torch down his well and see if he's ready to come out.
i've been pretty eagerly reading the stories about people who saw the light. we were close and he both trusted and respected me.

what would you do?

11 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	run
	9 (82%)
	walk
	0 (0%)
	spark up the torch
	0 (0%)
	throw him a rope, then run
	1 (9%)
	insert x-rated scenario here
	0 (0%)
	i have no earthly idea
	1 (9%)
	none of the above
	0 (0%)
	robb is a dingbat
	0 (0%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[viva la]

1. Uh, what exactly do you think you'll get out of this?

He's no longer the man you knew.
You can't save him.

[mopinko]

3. i'd like to have my friend back.

so would a lot of his old friends. srsly doubt i'd start anything up w him.

save him is a stretch, but some times some people see the light. and i think right now that's a thing we need to get our arms around.

[viva la]

6. I don't know what would work to help him see the light--

But Steven Hassan is an expert on cults and deprogramming cultists, and he has a good podcast and website about that. https://freedomofmind.com/

I remember he suggested asking questions, but without an edge or sarcasm, more "What I don't get is..."

I think his point was to guide them into a bit of skepticism but without shaming.

It really is a delicate process. I can't do it. I'm more likely to end up yelling, "Can't you see how stupid that is!!!"

[mopinko]

7. well, ya know

i spent 5 yrs as a hospice volunteer, and i was pretty good at it. i think i can open doors.
i've read a few things, and one window is science. i am not sure how that angle open up, but...
math and numbers also work real differently.
and i'm pretty in the weeds about how this happened to him.

and i'm pretty sure it's me or no one.

[viva la]

10. I sometimes wonder if any of us could be trapped by delusion like that...

Given the right circumstances and problems in our life and some convincing charismatic leader--

I hope not. But that question does make me more sympathetic... maybe we're all vulnerable to being tricked. Well, not all, but most. We're looking for answers, and here's this group that says it has the answers.

Sigh. And it's infecting 25% of our neighbors now, this desire for delusion.

[mopinko]

11. he felt trapped, that's fersher.

described her as- i'm her stray, she'll always hold my leash.
she rescued him after he lit his life on fire.
he's also very smart. well educated. defrocked lawyer. hs debate team captain. hung himself w his own rhetorical noose.

yup. it could be most of us.

[mopinko]

4. also, he used to make me custom edibles.

[LakeArenal]

2. Other......

[blm]

5. For old time sake - Robb is a dingbat.

[Ziggysmom]

8. Give him the option of a life preserver, then back away. Let it be him who

saves himself, to a point?

What do I know, I'm not very good at relationships. The introvert in me relates better to animals than people 🥹

[mopinko]

9. yeah, that's the plan.

have to go out of our way to actually see each other. doesnt happen by accident irl.
i'm an extroverted introvert. worst of both worlds. been dancin around w another man for the last month who is one also, and lordy. bout to start day drinkin.

[Fla Dem]

12. Decision you have to make.

Doesn't seem like he is overly eager to hook back with you. He took a big step by marrying the woman. Sounds like that was his final decision. Your involvement would just be as a 3rd wheel, no future for you. Pick up your things and move on. You owe that to yourself.

Good Luck.

[mopinko]

13. yeah, no. that's his way of showing eager.

we split up for a while, like over a year, and he'd drop a hint now and again. swore he never gave up.
it's entirely possible that he only agreed if it was open. hell, he might have a carve out just for me. man knows how to hope. lol.

srsly, i'm not interested in starting it up. i'm still hopin for the one. in fact, there's a couple of men out there that could be, but for geography. have reasons to hope myself.
my last hook up called me a selfish cunt, so, i think i got myself covered. lol.