Neighbor problems - suggestions

[cannabis_flower]

I’m having a problem with my neighbors and trying to figure out what to do.

I’m a 63 year old white woman. My downstairs neighbor is an older African man ( originally from Nigeria). He lives there with his nephew (maybe 30-35) and his nephews girlfriend.

They have a loud barking dog and play the TV and sometimes music really loud at all times of the night, sometimes all night. I’ve talked to him. He is somewhat deaf and sometimes falls asleep with the TV on.

A few days ago, the girl comes knocking at the door like the police. My husband and I answered the door and she asked if I reported her to the SPCA about the dog. They keep the dog outside in the heat or cold all the time, he’s very skinny and he barks constantly. I told her no. I didn’t report her.

So already she thinks I called the dog police on her. I told her that I didn’t (maybe I should have, somebody did). She used to be friendly but the last time I saw her she gave me the stink eye.

I’m about sick of the noise. I work. I don’t want to get up, get dressed, go down the stairs at midnight to tell them to turn down the noise but I also don’t want to seem like a Karen by calling the police to come out and tell them to cut it out. And I really don’t want to be responsible for calling if the police comes out and ends up shooting someone.

[secondwind]

1. I don't have any advice, I'm afraid.

I sure hope the dog is out of that house, though.

[cannabis_flower]

6. Nope

Still there and still barking. I wake up in the morning and go to the kitchen and he starts barking. At least school is out because he isn’t barking at the kids waiting for the school bus anymore.

[sunflowerseed]

2. Maybe some earplugs would help with the noise?

[Geechie]

3. "They keep the dog outside in the heat or cold all the time, he's very skinny .."

Calling the humane society or spca is not being a Karen. You can do it anonymously; I would, for the sake of the animal.

[cannabis_flower]

9. Well

Somebody already did. I guess they got a warning. And they think it was me.

[2naSalit]

16. So then...

Claim the damn knife they accuse you of using to stab them in the back and be the second complaint that will let the authorities know that it wasn't just one person bothered by this.

If you have approached them civilly and they can't be considerate of others, they will have to learn the hard way then. Call everyone who could do something... everyone BUT the cops.

You deserve a level of peace inside your home that is not overwhelmed by the activities of the neighbors.

[WA-03 Democrat]

20. Agree - do call them

Their rights end where yours start, they have stepped far over that line.

[Javaman]

4. are these folks renters?

check your rental agreement. they might be violating various parts of it with the loud music.

back when I rented, I was able to get several people kicked out for: dealing drugs (not pot) of their apartment, holding full blown raves during the middle of the week, feeding raccoons (wild ones) in their apartment.

the place were I lived had a big student population so, getting them kicked out due to their very poor thinking skills was pretty easy.

[cannabis_flower]

10. It's a condo.

A family owns the condo and rent to relatives.

[Javaman]

12. do you have a HOA? nt

[LakeArenal]

5. Apparently others feel the same. Enlist them to help.

Sadly no winners in a neighborhood fight.

[snowybirdie]

7. Something

Your landlord needs to address. Talk with them.

[cannabis_flower]

11. It's a condo

My landlord isn’t their landlord. They (or a relative) own their condo.

[snowybirdie]

13. The Association Board

needs to step in then. They have power and can even foreclose if the owners don't follow rules.

[Tetrachloride]

8. Who and where is the owner?

Ask a policeman what are the laws ? Ask another policeman or lawyer after you have sat on it more.

Find out what your friendliest neighbors have to say.

I once had a very friendly neighbor. And one day the police came to see him. Things were clearly not what they seemed.

Gather information and resources. Keep a diary

[Quakerfriend]

14. So sorry you have to live with this!

I would be calling the cops constantly!
And, let the cops know that you wish to remain anonymous for your own safety.
I don’t recommend speaking with them directly again.
And, get yourself some industrial ear plugs or a good set of headphones.

[claudette]

15. Can you try

Last edited Fri Jul 15, 2022, 12:54 PM - Edit history (1)

Making a complaint to the landlord instead of the police?

Oh, I've now read the other posts so this would not be helpful.

[Callalily]

17. As stated above, check with your condo board.

And check the association rules. I live in a condo and rentals can only be short term (may be different where you live). There are also noise and pet rules, etc.

It's too bad that this couldn't have been resolved with a neighborly chat.

[Triloon]

18. Don't call the cops.

Call an attorney. Most offer a free initial consultation. Look up a local one on google. Legal advice on what your options are will be the most useful advice. But don't ask the police, they don't know and don't care.
Otherwise you might look for a more peaceful place to live, or hang a chicken foot on their doorknob.

[cannabis_flower]

21. A chicken foot?

[Triloon]

24. Just a little sorcery ...

what could it hurt?
Well, on second thought, with Alito on the bench that might not turn out well.

[delisen]

19. If you own the condo maybe noise abatement

I don’t know your particular living space but friends were able to make their condo impervious to a next door neighbor’s constant loud noise by having an extra layer of wallboard installed.

I don’t know what would work for noise coming up through floor but there may be remedies, and possibly expensive.However these renovations are investments for owners, and make the condos more valuable.


The Karen meme has been used to shut up women who assert themselves who have totally legitimate complaints. Women self-censor because they fear being labeled; men are not so affected. It becomes tough as a woman to assert oneself without being labeled, dismissed or ridiculed. Inequality persists.

If you are able to get through the anger of the female neighbor, to be able to engage in a Frank discussion she may still be the best bet to getting some noise abatement.

[werdna]

22. Try kindness?

If you can afford it, purchase a decent wireless headphone system, wrap it up in pretty paper, address it to the occupants. Include a "Thank You" card inside thanking them in advance for using the gift after 9pm, sign it "Your neighbor residents." Leave it on their doorstep when you know they are home, knock and run.

[secondwind]

23. Please try to get that dog away from these people.

It’s brutally HOT almost everywhere.

And if he’s skinny, he is not being taken care of properly. I feel very sorry for this animal.

REPORT THEM

[cannabis_flower]

25. Well, dog has already been reported

They came out and left the dog. I guess because he had food, water and shade. Still it’s like 100 here.

[Fla Dem]

26. If you are the owner of your condo, alert the HOA.

If you're the owner of your unit tell the HOA they must enforce the HOA Rules and they need to contact the owner of the other unit to tell them they have disruptive tenants and if they don't resolve the issue, they will be fined.

If you are a renter, tell the owner of your unit to contact the HOA and have the HOA deal with the owner of the offending unit in the same manner as suggested above.

If it is not resolved your other choices are to deal with them directly and nicely ask them to keep the noise level down, call the police (let the person you are renting from know that in advance because he/she took no action) if all else fails, your final option is to move.
If the issue with the dog continues, call the SPCA or other animal rescue organization in your area.

If these are connecting condos and there are other condos on either side of their condo, you might reach out to them and see if they are bothered. If yes, it might be more effective if several owners filed a compliant with the HOA.

You did say she used to be friendly, have you asked her to try and keep the noise volume down?

Is the nephew and GF living with the Older man, or is the Older man living with the couple? If the Older man is the signee on the lease, you could try to talk with him.

Not sure any of this helps, but Good Luck!