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left-of-center2012

(34,195 posts) Sat Dec 4, 2021, 07:50 PM Dec 2021

50 Brutal Jokes For People Who Like Dark Humor

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
..............................

I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
..............................

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
..............................

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

https://www.boredpanda.com/dark-jokes/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=Newsletter

9 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

50 Brutal Jokes For People Who Like Dark Humor (Original Post) left-of-center2012 Dec 2021 OP

I met my spouse at a funeral. Xipe Totec Dec 2021 #1

These are dark? SergeStorms Dec 2021 #2

Seconded! True Dough Dec 2021 #3

same here, I've had some posts bounced because of my strange humor.... nt mitch96 Dec 2021 #5

Are these any better? Angleae Dec 2021 #8

loved them llashram Dec 2021 #4

These are good! Thanks! MLAA Dec 2021 #6

Well, GREAT -- I had to relearn a costly lesson ... eppur_se_muova Dec 2021 #7

OMG, that was hilarious! smirkymonkey Dec 2021 #9

Xipe Totec

(43,900 posts)

1. I met my spouse at a funeral.

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Sat Dec 4, 2021, 07:52 PM

Dec 2021

Now all her unwed female relatives dress up for funerals.

SergeStorms

(19,208 posts)

2. These are dark?

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Sat Dec 4, 2021, 08:03 PM

Dec 2021

Jeebus, I must be world weary, or else I'm really fucked up. 🤪 These are pretty tame as far as I'm concerned.

True Dough

(17,431 posts)

3. Seconded!

Reply to SergeStorms (Reply #2)

Sat Dec 4, 2021, 08:11 PM

Dec 2021

I wouldn't post here some of the jokes that make me laugh. Just too off-color.

mitch96

(13,955 posts)

5. same here, I've had some posts bounced because of my strange humor.... nt

Reply to True Dough (Reply #3)

Sat Dec 4, 2021, 10:20 PM

Dec 2021

Angleae

(4,510 posts)

8. Are these any better?

Reply to SergeStorms (Reply #2)

Sun Dec 5, 2021, 12:25 AM

Dec 2021

https://www.boredpanda.com/short-scary-two-sentence-horror-stories/

llashram

(6,265 posts)

4. loved them

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Sat Dec 4, 2021, 08:19 PM

Dec 2021

but that's just me. I laughed out loud. A keeper

MLAA

(17,386 posts)

6. These are good! Thanks!

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Sat Dec 4, 2021, 10:59 PM

Dec 2021

eppur_se_muova

(36,319 posts)

7. Well, GREAT -- I had to relearn a costly lesson ...

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Sun Dec 5, 2021, 12:20 AM

Dec 2021

... stay away from Bored Panda, if there's anything you plan to accomplish today.

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)

9. OMG, that was hilarious!

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Sun Dec 5, 2021, 01:29 AM

Dec 2021

Most of them anyway. I really needed that! Badly. Thanks so much. I laughed my arse off at some of the most twisted ones, which makes me worry about myself a bit.

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