I'm in the ER with my husband. Again.

[nolabear]

Last edited Sun Jun 2, 2019, 11:31 AM - Edit history (1)

I don’t share much personal stuff on DU but I’m really, REALLY tired and have been sitting by this ER bed for a long time so what the hell.

The past year has been a monster. My husband has long-standing cardiac issues, has had a bypass and more stents than you can believe. Amazingly he has been vigilant over the past 24 years (this started when we were about 40) and hasn’t got too much damage. But I have either driven or chased an ambulance to the ER more times than I can count.

In addition, our 32 year old son has cyclic vomiting syndrome. He’s had it since he was three but generally he’s only had it once or twice a year. It’s a vicious, migraine related thing where he barfs so much and so hard and so long that He just has to be admitted, hydrated, knocked cold and kept in hospital til it passes.

About a year ago he had a bout that, well, just didn't really stop. From July to December we were in the ER 23 times. On one of those my husband had a stent failure and I was literally going back and forth between hospital room and ER room. In December our son finally managed to stay okay long enough for the drug protocol his specialist has him on to apparently kick in. He’s only been once since then.

This episode looks like it’s not a heart attack. Not sure what it is, but they take my husband very seriously. Funny thing, he’s an active, vibrant kind of guy who does everything right. This is just genetic. And though I’m pretty much a pro at being at the bedside, I’m tired. It can get to you.

So throw up a good thought for us, and for everybody having a long period of struggle. It can really put a damper on plans and intentions. We’re tough af around here, but damn could we stand a break.

UPDATE: Thank you all so much. It’s so good to just hear that people care. He’s resting and I came home to try to sleep a bit. We’ll figure this out. We have to-we need all the feisty Democrats we can get! ❤️❤️❤️

[snowybirdie]

1. Courage

Hang in. You do have what it takes to keep going. DUrs are pulling for your family.

[DownriverDem]

25. We sure are

Best of luck to you all. Stay strong.

[Ohiogal]

2. nolabear,

What an ordeal you have had to endure! I am so sorry this has happened to your family.
Please know that many of us here are thinking of you and sending good karma with all our might.

[Siwsan]

3. I think my record ER visit, with my Aunt, was 14 hours

Had some nearly as long ones with my mother. And, for the most part, these 'visits' weren't on busy nights, judging from the number of staff standing around, socializing. I always got the feeling that, since my mom and aunt were elderly, they also weren't a priority. When I took my brother in, for a broken elbow, we were in and out within 3 hours.

My "favorite" was the time my aunt was in for surgery and my mom was in the ER. The staff showed me the expedited 'back passage' way so I could rush between the surgical waiting room and the ER, since I was the patient advocate for both.

So I feel your pain.

[kanda]

48. hugs

Hugs to you, dear Siwsan. Being a caregiver is not an easy road to travel. Blessings of strength to you.

[Siwsan]

51. They have both passed on - 4 years now.

My sister was dying of cancer, at the same time all of this was going on. All three died within 7 months.

But we do what we should, and hope to never have to put anyone through the same experience. At least that's how I look at it.

[spooky3]

4. Your family is lucky to have you there for strength and

support. I hope your husband improves quickly and that you can get some well-deserved rest.

[grantcart]

5. Sorry to hear that you face multiple chronic struggles.

I wish I had some words of advice but based on your great posts and this OP I am guessing that if I was sitting next to you now you would be consoling me with words of wisdom.

I have had long days of constant "wretching" (which is different than vomiting, that's how you know you are a real 'barf' expert, you can tell the difference between the two) because of Meniere's disease. It sounds like a similar trigger to what your son has and if it is then the good news is that the brain gradually adapts to the sensory disruption and the nausea goes away. Hope that is true gor your son.

You make a radical improvement in the quality of life of others, something few of us do. Wish we had more folks like you around.

[sobenji]

6. Wow...

I’m so sorry.

[blm]

7. ((nolabear))

[Kali]

8. I havent been on FB in a week or so,

but weren't you just getting over a nasty bug yourself? I'm so sorry you guys are going through this AGAIN. please don't forget self care while you are doing for everybody else. I know how that is.

[nolabear]

10. Yeah, that was absolutely gruesome. But just a bug.

We’ve also been moving. Never a dull moment!

[Kali]

12. that is enough stress

just in itself! I would be totally exhausted from that alone. hope you both can get some rest and recovery very soon!

[Scarsdale]

9. So sorry to hear this.

Hearing "Stay strong" only helps so much, then you block it out. I wish I could offer some REAL encouragement. I am sure your husband is as fed up with this as you are. My daughter gets violent migraines, and uses suppositories that help with the vomiting. You need to take care of yourself, enough is taking place in your family without you getting sick. I completely understand your exhaustion, though. Hopefully you have insurance, so financial strain is not added to the already stressful conditions. Whoever called these older years "The Golden Years" needs a mental health exam. I agree with one person who said "The only "golden" thing about them is your urine"!! Take care of yourself, please for everyone's sake.

[nolabear]

11. Fortunately we have great insurance.

That’s the only relief. Decent care for my husband, ridiculously bizarre care for my son (long story-ER folk are fixated on cannabis hyperemesis syndrome these days and we have to fight them to convince them it’s not pot) and though it’s been exhausting we do seem to stagger along.

I just told him we had to all hang in long enough to piss on 45’s grave. We’ll make a pilgrimage. 😄

[Scarsdale]

17. Agree 100%

I told my doctor "I want to live long enough to see tRump in prison" I am 83 going on 84 and hope I make it. Worst piss poor excuse for a human being EVER to reside in the WH.

[kag]

39. I think that keeps us all going these days.

My hubby says they're going to have to install a septic system over him because of all the people wanting to make that same pilgrimage. I know we'll be there.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

13. Love you nolabear! Good vibes your way. Hope you

And family get relief soon.

[erronis]

14. Hugs to you and your family. You are a wonderful example to all of us.

I wish you a nice restful time in the near future!

[Fla Dem]

15. All I can send to you is a long and supportive virtual hug. You must be a very strong woman.

I truly hope between your husband's and son's episodes, you take the time to find peace and take care of yourself.

[jrthin]

16. Hang strong. Sending positive thoughts for an easier time for the family.

[BootinUp]

18. Done. You deserve a few breaks. Nt

[Farmer-Rick]

19. So sorry you have so much to deal with and struggle through

I've been through a very similar series of medical issues with loved ones.

Just know there are people out there who care and hope for only the best outcomes.

[Lonestarblue]

20. So sorry for what you're going through.

Lots of good thoughts and wishes sent your way.

[Frustratedlady]

21. I can't compare to you for that long, but I have a sense of what you are going through.

One year, we had so many things happen in our family that people didn't ask, "Hey, how are you doing!" when we ran into each other. I thought we'd never make it through that year, but we did (and, with no casualties).

It can get you down to the point where you can't even dream of any time off without feeling guilty. Best of luck to you all for a brighter summer ahead.

[Honeycombe8]

22. I'm so sorry for your family's health problems.

It sounds bleak, but things can get better. It's always possible for things to get better. Hang in there.

[ProudMNDemocrat]

23. I understand what you are going through. us too....

Last edited Sun Jun 2, 2019, 11:26 AM - Edit history (1)

My husband also has Cardiac issues. Triple bypass in 1991 at the age og 46 despite living a healthy lifestyle with plenty of exercise. Damn genetics.

After 27 years, one of his bypasses is failing. He has had 3 procedures in 2018 to put in stents, which are holding up. He will be undergoing a series of procedures at the Mayo Clinic to try to open the artery that had the vein graft.. when my husband is having chest pains, we are at the ER. He then gets admitted for tests that take a few days. At 74, he also lives with Type II Diabetes, Gout, Congestive Heart Failure. His medicine cabinet resembles a Pharmacy. He will also be having Cataract surgery once again to improve his vision.

Hang in there. I know exactly what you are going through. I will pray that your son's condition goes into remission. We have wonderful Doctors here at Mayo, which is 3 miles from my house in Rochester.

[nolabear]

43. We could be twins.

I’m ten years younger but my husband has the Type II diabetes and gout too. Genes are serious business. He’s worked so hard to be healthy and active. Maybe that’s why they do as well as they do in spite of it.

Stay strong. We who sit at the bedside are undersung. 😘

[yardwork]

24. I'm so sorry, and I wish that I could be with you.

[TreasonousBastard]

26. It's OK to vent here. You've been through a lot and people care.

[MuseRider]

27. Sending comfort and strength.

Went through this for about 5 years with my husband. Not nearly as much as you but I spent more nights per week there than at home for a while. Much care being sent to you and comfort, those ER's are not made for visitors and they can wreck you when you are there so much. Healing to your husband and son, that is so much for you to deal with. Try to stay well, it is hard when you are the only one and you MUST stay well or everyone else will fall apart.

[MontanaMama]

28. Holy buckets nolabear.

I’ll bet you are exhausted....it’s not just the ER visits but the worrying about your loved ones on top of it...it’s an emotional roller coaster. Then there’s the shit storm that you and the rest of us live through every day in this country as our new normal. You are a warrior nolabear. No doubt about it. I hope you’re out of the ER sooner rather than later and back home for a well derserved rest.

[DarthDem]

29. I'm So Sorry

Let's get you that break you need. I'll have a good thought for you, your husband, and your son. Stay strong.

[AJT]

30. I can understand your exhaustion.

Please find a way of taking breaks, even if it is just getting a message or going to a movie. Also see if there is a caregiver support group near you.

[CTyankee]

31. I am a caaregiver for my husband but have experienced nothing like what you are/having been

going through. I just hope you have respite care services available and usable for you.

[lillypaddle]

32. Don't know what's worse

being the afflicted or the caregiver/loved one of the afflicted. Let's face it, both suck.

Good thoughts coming right at you, hubby, and son. And hoping something breaks good for you soon!

[pazzyanne]

33. Good thoughts in the wind!

Take care of yourself, nolabear! That is the hardest thing for a caregiver to do, so this is reminder that you are important and deserving of self care! Praying for better times ahead for you and your family.

[samnsara]

34. you need a (((hug)))

[Hawaii Hiker]

35. Some heart issues are completely genetic, like lipoprotein a

https://www.amgenscience.com/features/10-things-to-know-about-lipoproteina/

I'm sorry to hear of your husband's medical issues....As someone who lost a father at a young age to a heart attack, I know the devastating effects of cardiovascular disease and what it does to family members....

I hope your husband gets well soon!

[nolabear]

44. That's exactly what he has. Lipoprotein a.

He’s on a seriously crazy drug protocol and so far they’ve done well by him. I think as he gets older (63) he might get a bit more nervous about it but he’s literally gotten a brown belt in jiu jitsu these past ten years so he works hard to keep going. I think we’re both a bit scared by this one.

[gademocrat7]

36. You are a remarkable woman.

Sending you hugs of support.

[livetohike]

37. Positive thoughts for all of you. Please try to take care of

yourself too nolabear .

[greatauntoftriplets]

38. Sending my best wishes to you and your family.

There was a time when I made lots of ER visits, first with my father, and then with my mother. It's exhausting and mentally draining. Take care of yourself.

[mountain grammy]

40. Hoping for the best for you, your husband and son.

You all deserve a break. Good thoughts for a good summer.

[Marthe48]

41. Hang in there

Every day brings hope of a new treatment that will be more effective for your husband and your son. One of my friends gave me a coloring book while I sat with my husband during his chemo. It wasn't so much that coloring helped, but having it and knowing how many people cared gave me strength and patience.

My younger daughter had episodes of unrelenting vomiting, ended up in the hospital several times. I felt like it had to do with her cycle, and since she's had kids, she hasn't had an episode.

[Blue_playwright]

42. Sending love your way. Nt

[MaryMagdaline]

45. Nolabear there is nothing more wearing than sitting

By a hospital bed ... back pain from stress ... glarish lighting ... inane TV conversations ... germ factories. I feel for you.

[Solly Mack]

46. K&R

Glad he's resting. Hope you got some as well.

[Heartstrings]

47. Healing vibes sent, nolabear! nt

[greymattermom]

49. My nephew is an ER nurse.

And a wonderful person. He's a traveling nurse, currently in Loveland, CO. I hope you've encountered some wonderful nurses.

[kanda]

50. wow

You've been through and are going through quite a lot. Sending you and your family healing vibes and strength vibes. You're obviously a strong person, but, jeez, you deserve a break! (((hugs)))

[FM123]

52. Sending you love!

[pandr32]

53. So sorry to hear what you all are going through

[Grasswire2]

54. I realize that you probably have done everything and learned everything there is to know...

...about heart health and that your husband's condition requires the highest level of care and specificity.

But I would be remiss if I didn't mention the track record of the new thinking in cardiology called "metabolic" or "integrative."

Metabolic cardiology is based on the proven knowledge that certain substances provide energy to the heart muscle and make an immense improvement in heart health. CoQ10, magnesium, D-Ribose, Acetyl L-Carnitine, are called the Awesome Foursome, and L-Arginine has recently been added to the regimen. We are often deficient in the elements our hearts need for optimal functioning.

There is plenty of info available via Google search. The pioneer in metabolic cardiology is Dr. Stephen Sinatra and the recommendations are increasingly followed by cardiologists.

Maybe this will help someone else here. It changed my life and began when an ER doc told me to begin taking magnesium.

[nolabear]

56. I'll pass Dr. Sinatra's name along but my husband is all over that!

He does take a number of things including CoQ10. So dies our son for his CVS and so do I because it seems like a good idea. I can’t even recite what all he takes. But thanks, I’ll pass it along!

[Grasswire2]

59. Dr. Sinatra has beaucoup info on the Internet sharing his medical knowledge.

Here's just one link that may be useful.

[link:https://www.drsinatra.com/maximizing-the-surgery-recovery-process|

[lunatica]

55. Whenever my mother was in the hospital

I practically moved in with her. I would do as much nursing as I could. Made sure she ate and kept her clean, changed her bedding when necessary, and when she shared a room I would do the same for her roommate if I saw they needed anything. A couple of times nurses would tell me how glad they were that I was there.

Now I bet you do exactly that too. I just want you to know I support you and your husband and son. You’ve done a lot to help keep him alive. The hands on involvement of loved ones makes all the difference!

[nolabear]

57. I agree. It makes a huge difference.

I know your mother was far better for it.

[sueh]

58. Sending you and mr nolabear lots of love and good thoughts. I hope he has a speedy recovery.

[Phentex]

60. Of course we care!

and you're in a very tough position. Caregiver's fatigue is real and you are experiencing that. I hope some newfound energy comes your way and that all around you can heal quickly.

[Iggo]

61. Glad to hear he's resting and you're trying.

Oh and by the way, "...throw up a good thought..."

I'm a little ashamed I laughed at that.

[nolabear]

63. 😂😂😂😂😂

I’m not!

[happybird]

62. Sending you love and positive energy

and bunches for your hubby and son, too.

[sprinkleeninow]

64. For you and yours.

Be assured of my prayerful intercessions. 💛

[Duppers]

65. ...

🤗 and ❤

[KT2000]

66. Vibes for rest and healing

Take care of yourself too. Peace.

[sinkingfeeling]

67. All of you, just hang in there.

[Gore1FL]

68. I have micro-vascular angina and experience various heart attack symptoms daily.

When it gets really debilitating, I end up in the ER and (so far) leave with good news and a 4-digit bill followed by a cardiac catheter, followed by EECP treatment. So far I've avoided stents, but only because my blockages are in places too small to fix.

My latest visit was March 29. I was doing everything right (except for work stress). I went from walking over 20,000 steps a day on average, to getting tired walking down a short hallway. The EECP seems to be getting me back. It's worked in the past.

I literally feel your and his pain.

If they offer EECP, I recommend it. It's 35 hours of commitment, but it makes it possible for me to function as a more-or-less healthy adult.

[MLAA]

69. Sending you, your husband and son energy! ✨✨💫💫💫✨✨✨💫✨✨✨

[appal_jack]

70. Hugs to you & yours, nolabear! nt

[Cha]

71. Healing, Love, Peace, and Aloha to

you and your family, Nola!

[cilla4progress]

72. Oh my god, nolabear -

so sorry to read this! You are such a stalwart here...

There but for grace go any one of us!

All the best. Glad to hear things are on the upturn.

[Hekate]

73. For you, your son, and your husband...

[democrank]

74. Sending a hug, nolabear.

Stay as strong as you can.

[Skittles]

75. so distressing to hear this, Nolabear

just remember someone is always on DU and we care....indeed we do

[sheshe2]

76. Huge hugs for you and your husband, nolabear.

[badhair77]

77. nolabear, you have been thru the ringer.

I’m so glad you could get a break to regain your strength. Please know that good thoughts and vibes are going your way. I wish the best for you, your husband, and your son. Peace and healing to you and your family.

[MFM008]

78. This was our life

In 2000 my dad walked into the ER and died suddenly on the table there( not surgery)

from 9/2016 till mom passed 1/1/19.
frequent falls including breaking her leg, arm, hip (both) and face
3 hip surgeries
7 COPD/heart /Afib hospitalizations
16 medications
4 nursing home stays that took her savings
loss of use of her hands due to muscle atrophy
(couldnt feed herself)
unable to get out of bed/bath or bathroom
I told my son if it starts to happen to me
find someone to help me end it mercifully.
My mom was a good person who didnt deserve what happened to her
.
Your husband and you have my best thoughts.
This road you haven't walked alone.

[nolabear]

80. Jesus. I'm terribly sorry.

We’re hanging in and have much to celebrate along with all this pain. The end days are often terribly hard. Your mother was lucky to have you.

[MFM008]

94. Thanks

But we were lucky to.❤

[dixiegrrrrl]

79. Next time a friend asks you "what can I do?"

They can clean for you
they can catch up on the laundry
they can cook some meals
take care of pets
change the bedding and wash the old stuff
put some booze in the liquor cabinet if that is your thing
Fill the car with gas for you
pick up prescriptions
get you a portable charger for the phone and tablets, if you need them.
Water the plants, inside and out
Anything else that you are not home to do because hospital time.

It's the South, right???

Yeah...Mr.Dixie and I have been there. and we are both bad at self care., and it is usually us women who have more internal drivers to be with the ill person.

Most men are lousy at hovering. anyone who has a male hover fly, hold on to him.

Hoping the day comes very very quickly so you can read this thread and think to yourself, yeah, I reached out and I
was heard and we got thru it and now we can chill for awhile and re-charge.

[nolabear]

81. That's really sweet. I'm not so good at asking.

The sons and daughter in law are near and will do anything for us, but mostly it’s just deal with the emergency then everything is okay. I know what you mean though. We do jump in.

Thanks for the support. He’s much better now. Oy, hospitals!

[localroger]

82. Good luck NOLAbear

I had a stent put in when I turned 50, 5 years ago. My father had one put in when he was 60. My grandfather had a massive heart attack which crippled him at 60. Bu the stent technology didn't exist in his day.

When I had my stent put in they ran out the dye limit so they had to hospitalize me and do a second procedure, where they found the 85% blocked LAD. The guy across the semiprivate room was having his twelfth stent put in. I was like WTF. If that is a thing I DO NOT WANT.

Still not sure where I stand on the bridge between that and, like, dying. This whole thing sucks.

Anyway greetings from St. Tammany Parish, I will think of you on the Causeway tomorrow.

[nolabear]

84. Awww, I love St. Tammany.

And isn’t it sad about Ms Leah Chase passing? What a woman.

My husband had nine stents before the eventual bypass. Last year one of the old ones failed and he had to be roto-rootered and a new insert put in. I think that was the only remaining one that didn’t have the newer coating that kept them from the-occluding.

He seems good this evening. With luck and a good stress test he’ll likely get out Tuesday. 🤞🏻

[localroger]

88. That's excellent.

If you would like a DU visitor on Monday just email me. I have a pretty good idea which hospital you are probably at and if I'm right it's just down the road, I can visit and say hi. [email protected]

[nolabear]

90. Actually I don't live in NO any more!

I grew up on the coast (Biloxi and Pascagoula) and lived in NO for years as an adult but though I’m back to see family as often as I can I live just outside Seattle now. My heart belongs to that crazy place though. All of it.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

83. Oh my dear nolabear, I sure do hear you and I'm hurting since I can't help you more!

Big virtual hugs for you and your beloved husband and son...

When this painful road goes on and you can't see the end of it........you come here and then we help you rest so that you can continue.

I hope there will be better days very soon for all of you.

Much love and gentle hugs for you all.

I'm so relieved you're getting some rest!

[nolabear]

85. Hi sweetheart.

I’m keeping mum on FB just because I haven’t talked to relatives and friends. Sometimes it’s just too tiring iykwim. But thank you for the hugs. They’re much appreciated.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

87. That's very smart of you, though it just adds to your stress.

Hang in there! We collectively have your back.

[The Blue Flower]

86. You must be completely exhausted

Take some you time. Sounds like your loved ones are in good hands.

[Rainbow Droid]

89. Hugs from my family to your family!

[PatrickforO]

91. Well...I care. So I'm glad you're both OK at home.

[CaptainTruth]

92. I'm so so so sorry to hear this...

My thoughts & my heart are with you.

[DFW]

93. I hope you get your break, and soon

It sounds like yours is long overdue. I've had my inherited heart problems and my wife has had some close call scrapes with cancer, but at least we have had a few breathers in between.

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

95. I have some idea of what you're going through.

In the last three or so years of her life, my wife had problems with diabetes, her heart and ALS. Our lives revolved around her doctor visits. When she died, all three were mentioned on the death certificate, essentially saying "One of these three killed her, take your pick as to which one".

[deek]

96. take csre

[calimary]

97. Sending you love and strength through this struggle, nolabear.