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(27,509 posts)
Fri Sep 16, 2016, 08:30 PM Sep 2016

A New Map for Relationships: Creating True Love at Home and Peace on the Planet


“Marty and Dorothie Hellman have written a truly unique book that tells an engaging and persuasive story relating domestic peace to world peace. This book should be read by married couples seeking peace at home, as well as by diplomats seeking peace in the world. This is an especially important work considering the enormously destructive power of nuclear weapons. The struggle for interpersonal dominance can lead to the end of a marriage, but the struggle for geopolitical dominance can lead to the end of civilization.”
William J. Perry, Secretary of Defense 1994-1997

“This is the most impressive book I’ve ever read. I’ve never seen anything as personally touching and thought provoking. I will embrace the journey.”
Axel Merk, President of Merk Investments, manager of the Merk Mutual Funds

“This is the most thoughtful, unique, and fascinating book I have ever read on personal and international diplomacy. Drawing from their own poignant experiences in managing spousal relations – candid stories that will resonate with all readers – Dorothie and Marty Hellman persuasively apply their life lessons to the domain of foreign affairs. We are often puzzled when peoples of two nations seem to get along, while their governments are at loggerheads. The Hellman’s have much to say about why this does not have to be so.”
Lt. Gen. Karl W. Eikenberry (U.S. Army, Retired)
Commander of Coalition forces in Afghanistan (2005-2007)
US Ambassador to Afghanistan (2009-2011)

“I really enjoyed reading A New Map for Relationships. Your personal story is both charming and very valuable. It has helped me to improve my relationship with my wife, even though she has not yet read the book. I’m looking forward to her doing so, so that we can discuss it together. I really loved the way you integrated resolving interpersonal and international conflicts. Your journey of discovery and transformation is one of hope for couples and for the planet. Thank you so much for sharing it.”
David Krieger, President, Nuclear Age Peace Foundation

“A New Map for Relationships is an ambitious and bold study that thoughtfully combines the personal and the political-historical to relate helpful insights to the improvement of both personal and international relations. Its analysis of international conflicts is probing and heavily historically-oriented. It urges honesty, truth, and understanding, and stresses the value of empathy, tolerance, and forbearance with both wisdom and compassion.”
Barton J. Bernstein, Professor of History, Emeritus, Stanford University

“Marty and Dorothie Hellman offer a ‘unified field theory’ for successful relationships at all levels of the human family. The Hellmans use compelling personal and historical examples to illustrate how compassionate, holistic solutions will provide personal security, national security and international security. Every spouse, partner, citizen, and world leader should read this book!”
Daniel U. Smith, Appellate Attorney and Board Member, The Ploughshares Fund

“It is indeed true that each of us carries the fuse of the nuclear threat in her individual heart. It is also true that we generally do not know that simple fact. Some of us go out of our way on a mission to solve the nuclear threat ‘out there,’ without recognizing that the only way to solve it is ‘in here.’ When a person finally discovers the hatred that harbors in his heart, he crosses the threshold that leads to wisdom. This book can greatly accelerate that process.”
Dr. Federico Faggin, designer of the world’s first microprocessor

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A New Map for Relationships: Creating True Love at Home and Peace on the Planet (Original Post) bananas Sep 2016 OP
The Turing Award, Nuclear Risk, and Recapturing True Love bananas Sep 2016 #1
This looks fascinating. BlancheSplanchnik Sep 2016 #2


(27,509 posts)
1. The Turing Award, Nuclear Risk, and Recapturing True Love
Fri Sep 16, 2016, 08:51 PM
Sep 2016

From earlier this year:


The Turing Award, Nuclear Risk, and Recapturing True Love
Posted on March 1, 2016 by Martin Hellman

It has just been announced at 10 AM this morning that my colleague Whitfield Diffie and I will be receiving this year’s ACM Turing Award and the $1,000,000 that comes with it – one reason it’s sometimes called “the Nobel Prize of computing.” But what does my former life in cybersecurity, which is the reason for the award, have to do with defusing the nuclear threat – the theme of this blog? And what does either of those have to do with recapturing true love – the last part of this post’s title? This and my next few blog posts will explain, so stay tuned.

One connection between the Turing Award and reducing the risk of a nuclear disaster is that my wife Dorothie and I have decided to use my $500,000 share of the prize to further our efforts to create a more peaceful, sustainable world — which world, of course, requires eliminating the threat posed by nuclear weapons. The initial thrust of our effort will be to bring attention to a new approach we’re developing in a book due out later this year. Scroll to the bottom of this post for links to excerpts that are now online, and here’s a short summary:

How would you like it if you never had another fight or argument? And how would you like it if that helped bring greater peace to the world?

“A New Map for Relationships: Creating True Love at Home & Peace on the Planet” shows how the changes needed to build a strong marriage or other intimate relationship are the same ones needed to build a more peaceful, sustainable world. It also shows why working on both issues at the same time accelerates progress on each of them.

We know this because we were able to transform an almost failed marriage into one where we haven’t had a single argument in well over 10 years. Working on global issues was essential to bringing magic back into our marriage, and personal relationships that really work are the model for a peaceful, sustainable planet.


There’s also an interesting connection between the work being recognized by the Turing Award and this new effort. Public key cryptography was a radically new way of communicating that at first seemed impossible. How could two people talking across a crowded room, with no prearrangement, exchange information privately from all the others listening in? Yet that’s what we showed how to do. And how could a digital signature be recognizable by everyone, but only created by the legitimate signer? Once people opened up to those radical, new possibilities, previously unimaginable options were opened, including modern electronic commerce, secure software updates and more.

The same is true of the interpersonal communications approach that we’ll describe in our book. Dorothie and I had to develop a new way of communicating that seemed impossible from our old vantage point. Once we found the courage to break with that old perspective and entertain the new one, our lives were immeasurably improved. And the same is true at an international level.


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