Trump Pledges To Make God Great Again

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Source: The Daily Beast (formerly Newsweek)

Lynchburg, Va. — Evangelicals weren’t supposed to like Donald Trump. He’s boasted about never asking God for forgiveness, exhibited total Biblical illiteracy, and had as many wives as an Old Testament patriarch.

But none of that matters. When the billionaire mogul spoke at Liberty University this morning, he got a rapturous welcome that showed just how much Evangelicals love him—and why. The obsequiously warm reception he received may upend conventional wisdom about what conservative Christians want from their presidential candidates. And that’s great news for Trump.

Fox News morning programming warmed up the 11,000-strong crowd, and then the university’s hipster Christian worship band led students in song.

“We worship you today because you’re the great celebrity in this place,” prayed David Nasser, the school’s senior vice president for spiritual development, addressing God.

The boisterous crowd—some of whom woke up at 3:30 a.m. to get good seats—proceeded to worship Trump.

Trump’s performance certainly drew some sneers, especially when an attempt to pander fell flat after Trump mispronounced a Biblical reference as “Two Corinthians” instead of “Second Corinthians.” But despite that, his overwhelmingly warm reception confirms that he’s just as competitive as any other Republican among Evangelical Christian voters.

Read more: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/01/18/trump-pledges-to-make-god-great-again.html

[SoLeftIAmRight]

1. Poor God

He needs Trumps help

[rurallib]

9. if a God needs Trump's help, is he truly a God?

[KingCharlemagne]

2. Jesus, please save me . . . from Your followers! - nt

[no_hypocrisy]

3. Please appreciate the fact that the convocation at Liberty U. today was MANDATORY.

If a student didn't show up, his/her continued academic career at the school would be in jeopardy.

[Dakota Flint]

4. which god?

[safeinOhio]

6. The Golden Calf

He does shine in the bright light.

[Kennah]

7. Mammon

[63splitwindow]

5. uuuuuurp, uuuurp...

[blackspade]

8. Odin needs tRumps help?

[leftyladyfrommo]

10. You have got to be sitting me.

People will fall for anything.

[LiberalLovinLug]

11. pandering to the cultists

"Dear God" XTC

Dear God, hope you got the letter, and...
I pray you can make it better down here.
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
but all the people that you made in your image, see
them starving on their feet 'cause they don't get
enough to eat from God, I can't believe in you

Dear God, sorry to disturb you, but... I feel that I should be heard
loud and clear. We all need a big reduction in amount of tears
and all the people that you made in your image, see them fighting
in the street 'cause they can't make opinions meet about God,
I can't believe in you

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue? Did you make
mankind after we made you? And the devil too!

, don't know if you noticed, but... your name is on
a lot of quotes in this book, and us crazy humans wrote it, you
should take a look, and all the people that you made in your
image still believing that junk is true. Well I know it ain't, and
so do you, dear God, I can't believe in I don't believe in

I won't believe in heaven and hell. No saints, no sinners, no
devil as well. No pearly gates, no thorny crown. You're always
letting us humans down. The wars you bring, the babes you
drown. Those lost at sea and never found, and it's the same the
whole world 'round. The hurt I see helps to compound that
Father, Son and Holy Ghost is just somebody's unholy hoax,
and if you're up there you'd perceive that my heart's here upon
my sleeve. If there's one thing I don't believe in

it's you....

[Rosa Luxemburg]

12. Is he talking about Allah?

[forest444]

15. I think he means this one:

[tclambert]

13. Here's how I imagine Trump really feels about God:

"God thinks He's so great? He's a loser. He let His own son get crucified. I woulda protected my son. I woulda dealt with those Romans, wiped 'em out, killed their families. God's old and tired. You seen the Sistine Chapel? You seen the portrait of God they got there? Look at that face. He's got a hippie beard, down to like here, with old man gray hair, and He's kinda floating there, no energy, with a buncha whatchamacallits, cherubums holding Him up. I'm a self-made man, I can hold myself up. And if I created man, I woulda done a lot better job than Adam, lemme tell ya. And the Chinese? Hardly any of 'em believe in this God guy. If I'm elected, you know the Chinese would believe in me."

[Tab]

19. Very good, but you forgot

to call him a "loser". And look at all the (insert religion here) - they don't believe in him! What kind of god is that? What a loser. At least, if you believe in me, you'll know I'm real.

[Person 2713]

14. Rumps core voters believe they are the only race that should be in America and his Fundie voters

think their religion is the only one that should be in America. Both groups see others as "bad and what is wrong with this country " and since they are incredibly dull witted possibly the source of their own personal problems also. Not surprised by fundies picking up on him as all my experience with them is they think they are superior to others.

We worship you today.....

[Jack Rabbit]

16. If there is a God

then he is already great and has always been great. I don't think he needs any help from from Mr. Trump to be great.

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

17. Tax time!

[DBoon]

18. Trump has never even read the Bible

Why should he? There is nothing about Trump mentioned in it.

[hibbing]

20. "hipster Christian worship band"...snicker

[Monk06]

21. wasawf yajeal alllah 'akbar! (li'ann hadhih hi alttariqat eazim 'ana)

I will make god the greatest (Because that's how great I am)

God says thanks to the Donald for helping him out

[olddad56]

22. The difference between God and Donald Trump...God doesn't think he is Donald Trump.

[JohnnyRingo]

23. That's some agent God has.

I wonder if Trump will take the customary 15% of the church tithes or just accept the pearly gates for his mansion.

[packman]

24. I'll bet God is feeling a lot better about Himself this morning

What an asshole (Trump, not God)

[Paladin]

25. "Two Corinthians," says the clueless, morality-free vulgarian.

And his fans worship him even more for it.

[mainstreetonce]

26. Trump/Jesus 2016

Huuuuuge!

[Jefferson23]

28. ha ha that was very good.

[phantom power]

27. Push comes to shove, they'll rally behind Trump because he's a natural bully

and they're all a bunch of authoritarians.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

29. I liked when Trump mentioned his favorite biblical figure, Moah.

Who God sent atop Mount Olympus to sacrifice his only son Abraham Lincoln as a test of his faith.

[ish of the hammer]

30. god can make his own self great - he don't need no help from a jerkwad

[RussBLib]

31. it's so easy to fool the rubes

just wave a Bible in the air and they swoon

[awoke_in_2003]

32. Lennon said the Beatles were bigger than Jesus

and people had coronaries. Trump says this- nothing.

[Tab]

33. Probably because people had respect for Lennon's opinions

As opposed to Trump

[awoke_in_2003]

34. Good point. nt