So about these sexual abuse/harassment claims

[TexasBushwhacker]

Last edited Fri Dec 1, 2017, 08:30 PM - Edit history (1)

I've seen some comments (not here, but on Facebook) that the fear of being accused of harassment is going to totally change how men are allowed to treat women and IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.

I have to ask, 1) is this really new information and 2) have you known anyone who was falsely accused of harassment or abuse.

Sexual harassment has been on the radar at least since Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas. As a female, I think the "rules" of appropriate behavior are pretty clear. No means no, and there shouldn't be any repercussions. If a man wouldn't touch a male coworker on the knee, for example, he shouldn't touch a female that way either. If someone asks a coworker for a date and the answer is no, that should be it. And all this goes double between a boss and a subordinate.

So is anyone here STILL confused about what's appropriate behavior? I'd really like to know.

[Irish_Dem]

1. Tex, do you mean men can't unzip their pants and take out their penis at work any more?

Asking for a friend.

<Sarcasm thingy>

[TexasBushwhacker]

8. Well, I've heard some guys say that they are afraid of even complimenting a woman

I think that's silly, but I also have to wonder why it's so important to them to compliment a female co-worker. If a male co-worker tells me I look nice one day, that's fine. If the same co-worker comments on my appearance daily, I would find it a little weird. I would wonder if they were flirting with me and then it would be an issue as to whether or not I liked the attention.

I'm long past getting complimented on my looks, but back in the day, it was usually older married men who were commenting on my appearance. And yes, it was creepy.

[Irish_Dem]

10. At work, men should not comment on a woman's appearance.

Work should be professional.

I don't think it is silly. I have a male friend who commented on a female co-worker's weight loss,
how she was looking good, and he liked the outfit she was wearing. He got written up and had to make an
apology. Men should refrain from making personal comments, period, on the job.

It is another thing altogether when dealing with friends or dating situations.

Yes when I was young and attractive these kind of personal comments felt creepy.

[Skittles]

2. men who don't know how to behave around women

need to consult with the majority of men who do

but see, it is not about that - these perverts KNOW their behavior makes women uncomfortable, but that is exactly what gives them boners......THAT is what makes them perverts

[Irish_Dem]

3. Exactly, there is a sadistic side to their assaults, they get off on scaring, humiliating and

demeaning women.

I would think that rich, powerful, good looking men could get all the consensual sex
they want. But that is not what turns them on.

[a kennedy]

4. Hey, thats it....POWER!!!!!

It’s all about power, got nothing to do with love, or really even sex.....it’s power. Now, how do we change that discussion?

[Irish_Dem]

5. We change the discussion by doing what we are doing, talking about it in a public way. nt

[Skittles]

6. OUTING those bastards

yes INDEED

[Irish_Dem]

7. People act out in various ways. Sexual abusers do have some sexual issues.

They choose sex as a weapon for a reason.
Other abusers use other weapons.

[Egnever]

9. I don't think it will change how men are allowed to treat women

I do think it will change how they are treated though. I also think it will affect hiring decisions. I am happy to see abusers get taken down.

I just wonder if the end result will be fewer opportunities for women in the workplace. I hope not but I fear that is what the end result will be.

[moriah]

11. I've known one guy I believe when he talks about being falsely accused.

They were teens, had dated but had been split over a month, he was showing interest in another person, she apparently decided to try to do him damage, and said she'd come over to his house a certain night and he'd raped her after allegedly getting her drunk.

Too bad for her the night she chose was his new D&D night, it'd changed since they'd dated. He had 7 alibi witnesses to his presence at the game, including the host's parents.

Edit to add:

Was discussed when he mentioned his rule about not screwing women who've been drinking ever. Despite there being witnesses that she was making a completely baseless accusation, he decided the alcohol added to the story should make him err on the side of caution so he'd never get accused because of the person just not remembering.

[TexasBushwhacker]

12. Was she charged with making a false report?

She should have been.

[moriah]

13. I think she was like 15. This was very adolescent shit so probably not, prolly mid-90s.

I updated the post with how we ended up discussing it as adults, and why I believe him.

But I also think my "exception that proves the rule" example here shows about the only way false accusations happen. A very unstable/immature accuser with a motive. And they are usually very dumb.

[blueinredohio]

14. I knew a 17 year old boy who was accused of rape. Even the teachers at school would say things to

him. He committed suicide. There was no proof only he said she said but he couldn't take the harassment