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George II

(67,782 posts)
Thu Aug 3, 2017, 07:48 PM Aug 2017

Trump Says Mueller Just Called Him and Said Hes the Most Innocent Person Ever

By Andy Borowitz 6:28 P.M.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The special counsel, Robert Mueller, just called Donald Trump to tell the President that he was “the most innocent person ever,” Trump told reporters on Thursday.

“It was the middle of the afternoon, and he just picked up the phone to say how innocent I was,” Trump said. “He said I was the most innocent person he’d ever come across, and maybe in history.”

“He said he had been over all of the evidence and that he and his staff would spend hours just looking at each other in amazement at about how unbelievably innocent I was,” he said.

Trump said that he asked Mueller why, in his opinion, the media had reported so many stories about his campaign colluding with Russians. “Bob said to me, ‘Are you talking about the failing New York Times and CNN?’ ” Trump reported. “ ‘They have been very unfair to you. They are bad (or sick) people. Sad!’ That’s what Bob said to me.”

The conversation wound down with a series of “pleasantries,” Trump said, with Mueller complimenting him on the size of his 2016 victory, including his enormous win in New Hampshire.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-says-mueller-just-called-him-and-said-hes-the-most-innocent-person-ever

33 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Trump Says Mueller Just Called Him and Said Hes the Most Innocent Person Ever (Original Post) George II Aug 2017 OP
That is actually believable as a trump statement. mucifer Aug 2017 #1
I know, the satire writes itself these days... Wounded Bear Aug 2017 #3
That's the worst thing with Trump marylandblue Aug 2017 #5
I was nearly caught malaise Aug 2017 #8
Complete sentences and words above the fourth grade level central scrutinizer Aug 2017 #11
It sure is. BlancheSplanchnik Aug 2017 #23
There needs to be a corollary to Poe's Law SchrodingersCatbox Aug 2017 #33
Bwahahahahahahahha sheshe2 Aug 2017 #2
His innocence is enormous. milestogo Aug 2017 #4
It's beyond belief! CaliforniaPeggy Aug 2017 #6
Bigly! sarge43 Aug 2017 #13
Tremendous innocence. Amaryllis Aug 2017 #27
Is this another attempt at intimidation? Catmusicfan Aug 2017 #7
Step back. VermontKevin Aug 2017 #10
I love good satire Gothmog Aug 2017 #9
No way he could do all that with such tiny hands. L. Coyote Aug 2017 #12
We should call and flood the WH's switchboaed..... imanamerican63 Aug 2017 #14
Andy Borowitz!!! calimary Aug 2017 #15
The scary thing is that I actually believed this Downtown Hound Aug 2017 #16
I did too! montana_hazeleyes Aug 2017 #25
I COULD almost believe that...it sounds like TRUMP.... yuiyoshida Aug 2017 #17
Not to mention once more inflicting the worst of the U.S. on a third world country. Amaryllis Aug 2017 #28
Watch satire become truth IronLionZion Aug 2017 #18
As "funny, cause it sounds so true" as it gets. JDC Aug 2017 #19
My god. It took me a bit to realize it was satire. broadcaster90210 Aug 2017 #20
I'm suposed to believe heaven05 Aug 2017 #21
I wonder if sTrumpet is on the same phone raven mad Aug 2017 #22
Sphincter mouth. BlancheSplanchnik Aug 2017 #24
I LOVE it! raven mad Aug 2017 #29
😆 BlancheSplanchnik Aug 2017 #31
Crap!!! It took me two paragraphs to realize it was satire!! Doreen Aug 2017 #26
The Best Innocence Turbineguy Aug 2017 #30
With beautiful chocolate cake. n/t BlancheSplanchnik Aug 2017 #32

BlancheSplanchnik

(20,219 posts)
23. It sure is.
Thu Aug 3, 2017, 10:16 PM
Aug 2017

I can totally imagine him claiming Robert Mueller called and just happens to talk just like Lord of the Lies.

33. There needs to be a corollary to Poe's Law
Fri Aug 4, 2017, 11:05 AM
Aug 2017

"Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody Donald Trump in such a way that someone won't mistake for the genuine article"

calimary

(81,262 posts)
15. Andy Borowitz!!!
Thu Aug 3, 2017, 09:02 PM
Aug 2017

Actually, though, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if trump tries to pass that off. He just lies and lies and lies - he lies like the rest of us breath.

Downtown Hound

(12,618 posts)
16. The scary thing is that I actually believed this
Thu Aug 3, 2017, 09:04 PM
Aug 2017

was possible. Not that I believed Mueller would do that, but rather that Trump would really say that.

yuiyoshida

(41,831 posts)
17. I COULD almost believe that...it sounds like TRUMP....
Thu Aug 3, 2017, 09:05 PM
Aug 2017

I wish we had the option to send him off to some third world country for good, but if we did, we would end up in another war again, over sending his ugly ass there, and insulting the judgement of an entire nation!

 

heaven05

(18,124 posts)
21. I'm suposed to believe
Thu Aug 3, 2017, 09:34 PM
Aug 2017

this BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!! Oh satire...yet believable as reality just because this is something the boy-potus is capable of saying.....great humor though it didn't and still doesn't make me laugh. Just because, in these times, with this fascist cabal running the disjointed states of ameriKKKa, have to have humor like this to keep the anger in balance....

raven mad

(4,940 posts)
22. I wonder if sTrumpet is on the same phone
Thu Aug 3, 2017, 09:51 PM
Aug 2017

the Boy Scouts, Mexico's Predident Nieto and Australian Prime Minister Turbull called him on.................




Doreen

(11,686 posts)
26. Crap!!! It took me two paragraphs to realize it was satire!!
Thu Aug 3, 2017, 10:46 PM
Aug 2017

There is an extremely fine line between trumps truth and satire.

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