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(100,411 posts)
Wed Apr 19, 2017, 01:01 PM Apr 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-20: You Dropped A Bomb On Me Edition

Last edited Sat Apr 22, 2017, 01:18 AM - Edit history (2)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-20: You Dropped A Bomb On Me Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! This is going to be unusually long this week because we missed a lot being off last week, so bare with us! You know what? I’m back from spring break, I am in a good mood, let’s talk movies. I saw The Fate Of The Furious this week and that was great – might be the best one in the series so far. And I mean really after the disaster that was Tokyo Drift, things can only get better right? And by the way, how great was that trailer for Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi? Whew, man am I looking forward to that! Plus the trailer for Thor: Ragnarock

Right? Oh man that looks so good. “I know this guy! He’s a friend from work!”. That line is a definite win, and it sucks that we have to wait until November to see how this all pans out. Marvel is batting 1.000 right now. They have Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 which looks awesome (and only a mere 15 days away!). Spiderman: Homecoming looks to be just as good, and then you have Thor: Ragnarok. And I mean who wouldn’t want to see Thor fighting the Hulk? I mean it’s a perfect metaphor for modern society – the establishment (Thor) taking on the ginormous beast known as the Hulk. And that’s not even including Trump’s enormously fat ass. Hey o!!! I’m here all week, don’t forget to tip your waitress! All right, that’s enough of the intro. But first, John Oliver is back and he goes overseas to talk the French elections and their possible impact on the world:

Ladies and gentlemen, returning to the top 3 slots this week is President Trump! Bravo, well done, take a bow! So in the number one slot of course, you know that by now, Trump (1) dropped the “Mother Of All Bombs” on Afghanistan this week. And he fucked up in telling the press which country he was bombing in the first place! I mean seriously! In the second slot, you know the cake from the first slot? Well we're going to appear on the show "Cake Boss" and see how much Donald Trump's (2) claim about Mar-A-Lago having "the best cake" really rings true or not. In the number 3 slot, if you thought Trump (3) celebrates Cinco De Mayo and Thanksgiving as an elitist, wait until you see how he celebrates Easter! So what was Trump doing? If you guessed golf, you are correct sir / madam! Plus we’re going to come up with some other uses for that golf cart rental money he’s been using. In the number 4 slot, we’re going to recap yet another incident at UC Berkeley, only this time, the group attacking now has a name and they’ll be easy to identify at future events – Antifa (4) ! In the number 5 slot is United Airlines (5). Because another incident if you’ve been living under a rock is that you know about the horrific story about the guy dragged out of his seat and beaten senseless by police. But they just keep shooting themselves in the foot over this incident, and several others have popped up in recent weeks. In the number 6 slot is Alex Jones. So Alex Jones (6) and his lawyer claim that his Infowars persona is actually a character like The Joker. So we’re going to channel the Joker and have him explain a few things to Mr. Jones. In the number 7 slot is none other than Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly (7). He is on what we like to call a “sinking ship” thanks to sexual harassment lawsuits and it looks like Fox News might be pulling the plug on the Factor. So no more War On Christmas this year? Taking the 8th slot is Pizzagate founder, and the court jester of the deplorables, Mike Cernovich (8) who might be engaged in some light blackmail if Steve Bannon gets fired from the Trump administration. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot, we’ve got another installment of “I Need A Drink” because really, I just got back from Spring Break, but I don’t need a drink, I need something much stronger – a joint! And we’re going to talk about all the fun events happening on 4/20 and your source for legal-ish pot. Finally this week, we’ve got the next round of our ongoing Stupidest State Contest, where we’re going to a Fiscal Irresponsibility Showdown. This time, Michigan takes on Kansas, and the winner will face Texas in the battle for which state is greedier. We’re just 3 rounds away from the league championship, and 4 rounds away from the deciding who is going to be our Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! Things are getting exciting! Plus we have some live music for you, this time from Iration. We’re going to get some reggae up in this joint – and I do emphasize the word joint. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

We need some appropriate music for this entry. Can we get that please?

Yeah! We’re getting old school up in this joint! And I need some old school music, because this entry is going to make me, and you very fucking angry! If it hasn’t already. Because Donald Trump and the republicans are quite literally playing with fire when it comes to North Korea. So let’s go through what happened shall we?

Washington (CNN)The US military has dropped an enormous bomb in Afghanistan, according to four US military officials with direct knowledge of the mission.

A GBU-43/B Massive Ordnance Air Blast Bomb, nicknamed MOAB, was dropped at 7 p.m. local time Thursday, the sources said.

The MOAB is also known as the "mother of all bombs." A MOAB is a 21,600-pound, GPS-guided munition that is America's most powerful non-nuclear bomb.

The bomb was dropped by an MC-130 aircraft, operated by Air Force Special Operations Command, according to the military sources.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/13/politics/afghanistan-isis-moab-bomb/index.html

Now if you’re not already angry enough, while we don’t mind that 36 terrorists were killed in the explosion, there’s some other strange musings regarding this story. We’re teetering on the brink of nuclear war. And this shit isn't helping:

YOKOSUKA, Japan — From the wind-swept deck of a massive aircraft carrier, Vice President Mike Pence on Wednesday warned North Korea not to test the resolve of the U.S. military, promising it would make an "overwhelming and effective" response to any use of conventional or nuclear weapons.

Pence, dressed in a green military jacket, said aboard the hulking USS Ronald Reagan that President Donald Trump's administration would continue to "work diligently" with allies like Japan, China and other global powers to apply economic and diplomatic pressure on Pyongyang. But he told the sailors, "as all of you know, readiness is the key.

"The United States of America will always seek peace but under President Trump, the shield stands guard and the sword stands ready," Pence told 2,500 sailors dressed in blue fatigues and Naval baseball caps on a sunny, windy morning aboard the carrier at the U.S. Yokosuka naval base in Tokyo Bay.

Where have I seen this before, I wonder?

And we all know how that ends! You know nuclear war - it’s a step up from regular war in a way that Premium Economy is a step up from Basic Economy - it's still the shitty part of the plane, and it's much more fucking expensive, despite that you get very little back in return for your investment. What do you get in return? A headrest! Ooh, a headrest! That means my neck will be slightly less crooked when I wake up from 13 minutes of sleep on my 6 hour flight from LA to New York! And let's face it, it’s what the military industrial complex really wants.

In its second major display of military might in one week, the US dropped its most powerful non-nuclear bomb on ISIS positions in a remote part of Afghanistan.

Afghan officials said 36 militants were killed in the strike in Nangarhar province, near the Pakistan border. The US military previously estimated ISIS had 600 to 800 fighters operating in the area.
On Thursday night, a GBU-43/B Massive Ordinance Air Blast bomb (MOAB), capable of destroying an area equivalent to nine city blocks, was dropped on a network of fortified underground tunnels ISIS had been using to stage attacks on government forces.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/14/asia/afghanistan-isis-moab-bomb/

George Carlin was right – war is just a big prick waving dick fight and that’s exactly what Mr. Tiny Hands Donald J. Trump is doing. And if you don’t believe he has tiny hands, just look at his gigantic fat ass waddling up a hill on his precious Trump branded golf course:

Where’s Stewie with a Tuba when you need him?

And this guy has the power to declare war, people! I mean it cant get much scarier than that, can it? I mean can it? Well maybe, in a very Bush-era move, if you add in the fact that Trump couldn’t remember what country he just bombed. You know what? Let’s roll tape first.

Last Thursday, April 6, President Donald Trump launched nearly 60 missiles at Syria in response to the deadly chemical attacks that took place earlier in the week. Thursday's strike targeted a Syrian airbase, and Trump's decision to bomb the country was met with mixed reactions from Congress, especially considering that the president did not seek congressional approval before ordering the launch of the missiles.

In a new interview on Fox Business Network, President Trump recounted to Maria Bartiromo the moment he told Chinese president Xi Jinping about his decision to attack Syria. However, there was one major eyebrow-raising instance in the interview: Trump seemed to forget which country he had bombed.

"I was sitting at the table, we had finished dinner, and we're now having dessert," Trump recalls. "And we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you've ever seen.... And I was given the message from the generals that the ships are locked and loaded." He adds: "I said, 'We’ve just launched 59 missiles, heading to Iraq.'"

Wanna Get Away? That would make a great ad campaign! I mean nothing says “wanna get away” like a world leader having dessert and then forgetting what country he just bombed! Call me, Southwest! But let’s talk about the cake for a minute. “It was the best cake, OK? Tremendous, tremendous cake! I mean the best cake comes from Trump Tower. I love chocolate!”.

President Trump said the United States is "not going into Syria" and recalled to Fox News the moment when he told Chinese President Xi Jinping over dessert that the U.S. had launched airstrikes in Syria.

Despite urging President Obama to stay out of Syria in 2013, Trump told Fox Business' Maria Bartiromo on Tuesday that he believes conditions in the country would not be as bad if Obama had acted earlier.

"When I see people using horrible, horrible chemical weapons, which they agreed not to use under the Obama administration, but they violated it," he said, "what I did should have been done by the Obama administration a long time before I did it. And I think Syria would be a lot better off than it has been."

Trump explained how he told President Xi that the U.S. military had launched airstrikes in Syria in response to the chemical attack.

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for Cake Boss!!!!

This week on Cake Boss, we’re going to the king of cakes. The sultan of sugar (Sultan Of Sugar, by the way, saw them at the Troub last week, great show!). I’m of course talking about the best cake in the land – the chocolate cake with a very drab scoop of ice cream that’s served at Mar-A-Lago. Why it’s good enough to feed visiting dignitaries and Trump’s fat ass! And we don’t even have to make this one!

Recounting details about his decision to launch missile strikes on a Syrian air base last week, President Donald Trump took several moments during a Fox Business interview that aired Wednesday morning to enthuse about the "most beautiful" chocolate cake he enjoyed at his Palm Beach resort with Chinese President Xi Jinping. Trump was entertaining the Chinese leader at Mar-a-Lago when he ordered the military strike.

"I was sitting at the table, we had finished dinner," Trump told Fox Business host Maria Bartiromo. "We're now having dessert—and we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you've ever seen—and President Xi was enjoying it."

Bartiromo then said it was "brilliant" that the missiles were "unmanned."

"It's so incredible. It's brilliant," Trump agreed.

Then Trump appeared to momentarily forget which country the United States had attacked last week, naming Iraq instead of Syria.

Because what’s an internet show without some cat memes? I mean come on seriously people! But how good was the cake at Mar-A-Lago? Why it’s good enough to make world leaders forget which country they sent cruise missiles to! Ha ha ha! But how good is a piece of cake really worth? And what does it look like? Well here’s a real, unaltered image!

Doesn’t that look tasty? I mean it just screams class! I’ve made better looking cakes than that, and I’m not exactly what one would call a “professional chef”. And come on, use a bigger scoop of ice cream, damn it! You get that giant piece of chocolate cake with a radioactive red filling in the center, we're presuming it's strawberry, but we could be wrong, and you get just a thimble full of vanilla ice cream? Come on! The place I go to get pie serves you with a giant scoop of ice cream! But really folks, there’s got to be an underlying motive here, doesn’t there? I mean doesn’t there?

Unsafe seafood. Insufficiently refrigerated meats. Rusty shelving. Cooks without hairnets.

Reports show Florida health inspectors cited President Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort with 15 violations in late January, days before the U.S. leader hosted Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe for a diplomatic visit.

Still, the state inspectors allowed the luxury resort's main restaurant and beach club grill to remain open as staff scrambled to make several immediate corrections.

Among the "high priority" problems described as "potentially hazardous" were faulty fridges with meats stored well above the required 41 degrees Fahrenheit. For example, in the restaurant's walk-in cooler, the duck and beef were measured at 50 degrees, while a ham was at 57 degrees.

Other issues included smoked salmon being served without undergoing "proper parasite destruction" and a hand washing sink for employees with water that was not hot enough.

Stephen Lawson, spokesman for the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation, said the violations were the result of a routine inspection and not prompted by any consumer complaints or food-borne illnesses.

Oh and it gets so much worse from there ladies and gentlemen! Smoked salmon is great, but smoked salmon without proper parasite destruction? WTF are they serving? Mold in the ice machine?

The January inspections were not the first time authorities have found problems at Mar-a-Lago. Over the last three years, records show the club has been cited 78 times for violations that included chefs handling food without washing their hands, dirty cutting boards, a slicer "soiled with old food debris" and an "accumulation of "black/green mold-like substance" in the ice machine.

And in fact there were over 13 violations in the kitchen alone! So if you’re going to Mar-A-Lago, don’t hesitate to bring your own food! Although, I’m sure President Trump would hate that. Because after all, he serves the best food at Mar-A-Lago and Trump properties all over the world! But at least you can have cake, which is what Marie Antionette would have wanted.

Inspectors reportedly found multiple health code violations at President Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Fla., only days prior to the visit of Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.

According to a report by the Miami Herald, the inspectors found 13 violations in the resort's kitchen, including undercooled meat and dangerous fish.

The inspectors deemed three of the violations to be “high priority,” which means that they could cause the presence of bacteria on dining room plates.

The state inspectors' latest evaluation of Mar-a-Lago on Jan. 26 revealed that the club's kitchen did not did meet minimum Florida standards.

The inspectors specifically noted the issues with the club's raw or undercooked fish, two of the club’s coolers that were too warm, and other minor violations.

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

So we won’t get to cover the Georgia special election this week, but Trump’s latest Tweet storm is something you got to see to believe. Particularly this one:

Learn to spell “Congressional” correctly and we might take you seriously for once. So in case you’re wondering how much Trump flip flops , he flip flops more than the sandals I wore in Hawaii last time I visited. And when you’re in Hawaii, you got to wear sandals and shorts, there really isn’t any other way to go there, am I right? But getting back to Trump and flip flopping, here’s something that you should know – the guy lies so much that his lies are lies, and his truth are lies. In fact he’s a real life Tony Montana. I mean think about it – he lives in a giant mansion in Miami, made his money through questionable means, never questions the other guy’s greed, and he might have gotten high on his own supply. We just don’t know. Plus we know he’s said crazy shit like this:

And with that in mind here’s how much Trump lies:

President Trump on Wednesday flipped to new positions on four different policy issues, backing off of several campaign promises.

In an interview and a press conference, Trump either shifted or completely reversed positions on matters of foreign and economic policy, including how to handle China and the future of the Federal Reserve chairwoman.

Labeling China a currency manipulator

Trump told the Wall Street Journal on Wednesday that China is not artificially deflating the value of its currency, a big change after he repeatedly pledged during his campaign to label the country a currency manipulator.


Janet Yellen's future

Trump also told the Journal he’d consider renominating Yellen to chair the Fed's board of governors despite attacking her during his campaign.

“I like her. I respect her,” Trump said, “It’s very early.”

Trump called Yellen “obviously political” in September and accused her of keeping interest rates low to boost the stock market and make Obama look good.


Export-Import Bank

Trump also threw his support behind the Export-Import Bank, which helps subsidize some U.S. exports, after opposing it during the campaign.

“It turns out that, first of all, lots of small companies are really helped, the vendor companies,” Trump told the Journal. “Instinctively, you would say, ‘Isn’t that a ridiculous thing,’ but actually, it’s a very good thing. And it actually makes money, it could make a lot of money.”

By the way in the case of the Import – Export Bank (IEB), this is what happened this week – it turns out Trump was going to eliminate the branch until someone explained to him how it worked! Hey, someone might want to explain to him how the environment and energy work, too, huh?

We knew Donald Trump wasn't a conservative. We knew he believed in government picking winners and losers. We knew he had an inordinate infatuation with with exports.

We also knew that Trump is thoroughly impressionable, meaning that when the lobbyists, the bankers, and the special interests got his ear — and this being the swamp, that was inevitable — they could probably win him over.

So when Trump said early in the campaign that he didn't think the Export-Import Bank (at that point it was in liquidation) should exist because the private sector can and does finance exports, I didn't get too excited. He was correct on the specific matter, but his personality suggested that this wouldn't last.

But we got to switch subjects and talk about how Trump spent Easter. But for transparency here’s how Obama spent Easter last year:

Talk about going out with a bang. After eight years at the White House, Barack and Michelle Obama are saying goodbye today to one of the presidency's most storied traditions, the Easter Egg Roll. The POTUS and FLOTUS stepped out today to greet the 35,000 attendees, and they were in good company. Beyoncé, Jay Z, and daughter Blue Ivy, Shaquille O'Neal, and Idina Menzel were also in attendence.

After greeting attendees from the balcony of the White House alongside a festive Easter Bunny, the pair shared a sweet kiss before heading down on the lawn to roll some eggs and read to the kids. Both Mr. and Mrs. Obama got very into the story, gesturing with their hands and making funny faces.

And here’s how Trump spent Easter this year:


Trump attended services at the Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea in Palm Beach along with first lady Melania Trump, daughter Tiffany, son Barron and Melania's parents, a White House spokeswoman said.

The family was to celebrate the rest of the Christian holiday with a brunch at Mar-a-Lago and Easter egg hunt with the families of two of Trump's other adult children, Eric and Donald Trump Junior, the spokeswoman told reporters.

Trump wished a "Happy Easter to everyone!" via his favourite medium, Twitter, and had earlier used his weekly address to mark Easter and the Jewish holiday of Passover.

The religious services were the first attended by Trump since his inaugural weekend in January.

And by the way what else happened at the White House Easter Egg roll? Well there was this.

President Trump’s narcissistic self-absorption and shocking refusal to show even the smallest courtesy or compassion for others was on full display this morning at the annual White House Easter Egg Roll.

Meant to be a day for children to meet the leader of their nation and to have some fun, Trump inevitably made it about himself. When one child asked him to sign his hat, Trump happily did so… before flinging the hat far into the crowd, prompting a cry of rage from the disappointed child who just learned that hard way what kind of a man Donald Trump really is.


Why do I get the feeling that sounds like something that happens in a bad Adam Sandler or Kevin James comedy movie? Stay classy, Trump. As if that’s not deplorable enough, Melania Trump didn’t make things better. Just like everything else Trump does, his first WH Easter Egg roll was a total disaster:

RIP Satire, beginning of civilization – April 15th, 2017. You will be missed. And in case you couldn’t help but wonder about Trump’s arrogance and elitism, we’ve spent the last 3 weeks talking about how much time he’s wasting golfing at Mar-A-Lago. Well, this week, some numbers were released that were pretty staggering, and if this doesn’t make your blood boil, you’re most likely a Trump supporter and watch Fox News as much as he does.:

The Secret Service has spent more than $35,000 on golf cart rentals at President Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort since his inauguration, CBS News reported Friday, as Trump begins another weekend in Florida.

CBS News reported that it had reviewed purchase orders showing $35,185 in costs for renting golf carts during Trump's frequent visits to Palm Beach, Fla.

The president has played several rounds of golf at Trump-branded clubs, including in Florida and Virginia.

Trump has come under fire for his frequent trips, which current estimates show have cost more than $20 million — nearly the amount President Obama spent on travel in his first two years combined. Obama spent approximately $97 million on travel, averaging $12.12 million per year in office.


So what can $35,000 buy you? Time for a little transparency and let’s put things in perspective. Wait a minute, I know! Why don’t we cue up the Top 10 Home Shopping Network? *cue music* Welcome to the Top 10 Home Shopping Network. Today we’re going to show you things that you can buy for $35,000 because that’s what President Trump has spent so far on golf cart rentals. So here’s things that $35,000 can buy you. To start with we have this lovely Volvo S60! For the low low price of $35,000 it comes with a sun roof and GPS navigation service!

Or perhaps cars aren’t your thing. Maybe you’re looking for a place to live. This tiny house, featured on “Tiny Houses” runs approximately $35,000:

Or maybe you’re an Elvis fan. This replica of the ring that the King wore, also cost $35,000!

And you know how much a new golf cart costs? Well this is why facts don’t matter to President Trump. Because this lovely red golf cart from Ez Go costs, get ready - $12,695!

[font size="8"]Antifa[/font]

Antifa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That name sounds like it would fit perfectly at the end of that song. In fact play that song again and then scream “Antifa” instead of “Tequila”. Well we need some upbeat music for this next entry because it’s another one that will make you fucking angry. And you know, no matter which side you’re on – whether you’re a Trump supporter or a liberal like we are, we can all agree that people showing up at your rallies wearing ski masks and carrying crowbars aren’t there to join hands, am I right about that? Well let’s discuss

Demonstrators both for and against President Donald Trump clashed in Berkeley, CA Saturday as protests have turned violent.

According to CNN, Berkeley Police issued a statement that said, “A large number of fights have occurred and numerous fireworks have been thrown in the crowds,” Berkeley police said in a statement. “There have also been numerous reports of pepper spray being used in the crowd.”

The Berkeley protest began as a so-called “Patriot’s Day” rally of Trump supporters, but counter-demonstrators quickly assembled and tempers began to flare.

Protesters gathered around the country on Saturday to protest the Trump administration and demand that the former reality TV game show host reveal his tax returns to public scrutiny.

As the Berkeley protest turned violent, social media began to fill with videos taken at the scene.

And yes there is video of this. By the way – can we say that Trump supporters are not in any way shape or form supporting free speech? Especially when they support his illegal deportation plan and the building of the wall? (BTW there is a content warning on this video)

But this isn’t the first time Antifa showed up and things turned violent. Remember the last Berkeley protest over professional tool Milo Yiannopolous? Yup, that was them. In fact there’s more to this story and it was a category 5 shit storm, as was expected.

Berkeley, long a hotbed of political protest, has emerged as a flashpoint in the Trump era.

The latest example of this came Saturday, when clashes between backers and critics of the president resulted in 21 arrests.

Berkeley is one of America’s most liberal cities, with a long history of left-wing activism. Trump supporters used the city as a setting for a Patriots Day rally Saturday.

But it goes beyond protests and counter-protests.

A February scheduled appearance by conservative provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos was canceled amid a violent protest on the UC Berkeley campus. That sparked a national debate — in which Trump himself took part — about the line between the right to demonstrate and protecting free speech that some find objectionable.

And you know when smoke grenades are brought into the picture, they go from alleged terrorist group into full blown terrorist group. And here’s what happened then! I mean this shit gets crazier and crazier!

Hundreds of self-described anti-fascist protesters and supporters of Donald Trump clashed in Berkeley, California, in sporadic brawls on Saturday. Protests in cities around the rest of the country, including a number of “tax marches” in which demonstrators called for Trump to release his tax returns, proceeded more peacefully.

In Berkeley, police told media they had arrested 13 people by mid-afternoon, as opposing rallies spilled out of a park and into the streets.

With several hundred people on each side, the crowds mostly taunted each other with bullhorns, chants and shouts. Occasionally, anti-Trump protesters threw fireworks. Small bands on both sides chased each other or brawled, sometimes with wooden planks, homemade shields, poles and pepper spray.

One standoff at a downtown intersection ended only when a smoke grenade detonated. In confusion, anti-Trump protesters fled as supporters of the president charged after them, attacking stragglers. In one altercation, demonstrators threw a pot of beans at each other.

And boy did shit just get real. In fact it might be a preview for what a modern liberal vs conservative Civil War might look like. And that’s a scary fucking thought. And in that war, we liberals do not want Antifa on our side. In fact, we want to stay very far away from the Antifas and Daily Stormers of the world. And if the Nazis are happy, this can’t be a good thing, can it?

Trump supporters further escalated the situation by scheduling a second rally for March 4, which featured more violence as members of the extreme alt-right movement began mingling with regular Republicans. After even bigger fights broke out at March 25 rallies in Southern California and in Philadelphia, far-right groups decided to descend upon Berkeley to “protect” Trump supporters.

“This is just the beginning,” wrote a member of the neo-Nazi website the Daily Stormer. “This is a sign that we have moved into a new era in the Nazification of America. Normie Trump supporters are becoming racially aware and Jew wise. They are willing to stick up for themselves side by side with Nazis without being adverse to violence.”

And we really did get a preview of Civil War II: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder With A Vengeance at Berkeley on Saturday. Shit is getting really ugly out there, folks. And I mean really ugly.

Most of the demonstrations held on April 15, which was set aside by progressives for marches to demand that Donald Trump reveal his tax returns, were peaceful. The notable exception was the city of Berkeley, California — often described as the most liberal community in the nation — where things rapidly descended into a street fight between radical right-wingers and more left-leaning counterprotesters.

A group of hard-right extremists came to Berkeley to hold a rally in support of Trump. While they are, of course, claiming that they only resorted to violence in self-defense, it’s clear from the social-media organizing done ahead of time that their intention was to start a riot.


By the way let’s take a look at some of these winners for a minute. I mean both Antifa and Daily Stormer were looking for a beat down on both sides. It wasn’t just a peaceful demonstration. Nope, this was a full on category 5 shit storm. But the Daily Stormers were going full on Insane Clown Deplorable:

In fact, in Civil War II: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder With A Vengeance, I’d rather not have Antifa on our side. And by the way, why do Trump supporters think they support free speech more than we do? I think we need to have that discussion at some point? These guys fail at explaining what free speech means.

The melee that erupted in Berkeley on Saturday in the name of free speech was nothing like the Free Speech movement there a half-century back.

Starting around 10 a.m., protesters from both the far right and the far left gathered in a park next to City Hall. For the first few hours they stood on opposite sides of a no-man’s land space that police had set up with orange webbed fencing in the park. There were good-natured taunts between the opposing sides initially, but as more and more people arrived—eventually more than 2,000—the exchanges turned into name-calling and jeers. Police were able to temporarily maintain peace because they had confiscated flagpoles, bats, pipes, sticks, knives and other items as people entered the park. Police also positioned themselves in the neutral zone when the shouting got too intense.

By 1 p.m., all semblances of order or peaceful protest were gone. The two sides had moved onto city streets and set upon each other with fists, M-80 firecrackers, and pepper spray. They hurled bagels, soda cans and even dumpsters back and forth as police largely stood by. The policy of the Berkeley Police Department is not to break up small fights as police involvement might result in more violence and injuries. Even so, 20 people were arrested by the end of the day, and 11 protesters reported injured.

And in case you think we’re not done in Berkeley – get ready! Look who’s coming over for dinner! Are they going for the idiot trifecta over at Berkeley? I’ve got some good odds saying they are! You might want to stock up on plenty of butter for round 3!

This bridge has a troll. And nothing good can come of trying to cross it.

On April 27, right-wing “polemicist” Ann Coulter will come to speak on campus about illegal immigration as part of a three-part series hosted by newly founded campus club bridgeCal.

Why this club thought Coulter was a reputable source to speak on an immigration is beyond us. With her past incendiary remarks toward Muslims, Mexicans and many other communities of color, Coulter has shown an unwillingness to partake in intellectual discourse. Simply put, she would astonish us if she sparked meaningful dialogue on campus.

Oh come on Berkeley, you should realize that having Ann Coulter "bridge the gap" between liberals and conservatives is like having Goldman Sachs executives teach a class on wealth management, or having Alex Jones teach an anger management class, or having Rush Limbaugh teach hot yoga. You might as well literally shoot yourselves in the foot! But still...

[font size="8"]United Airlines[/font]

Well if you’re United Airlines the last week has been rough. “Ooh boy, it was rough I tell ya, a plane made an emergency landing, and no one got hurt. And that was the best thing that happened to me last week!”. Thank you Mr. Dangerfield. And yes that actually did happen!

A United Airlines flight this morning turned back to San Francisco International Airport because of a mechanical problem, an airport official said.

United Airlines Flight 1721 was on its way to Kona International Airport in Hawaii when it turned around and made an emergency landing.

Airlines spokeswoman Maggie Schmerin said the problem was a maintenance issue.

And that’s probably the best thing that happened to United Airlines this week! Hey o!! Because unless you’re living under a rock, by now you know the extremely horrifying tale of Dr. David Dao, who was traveling from Chicago to Atlanta, and you know the video, we wont show it, but did you know that United may have tried to PR smear the wrong guy?

Questions have inevitably started to be asked: who dug up those details about David Dao’s apparent medical misdemeanour or the gay sex he supposedly had with a younger man, and why? Did they even check that those details related to the David Dao who was dragged off Flight 3411 in Chicago? There is presently confusion about whether the man on the United flight was actually David Thanh Duc Dao, quite possibly another person entirely to David Anh Duy Dao, the man with the criminal records.


And that’s not all. The United flub will be forever remembered as a lesson in how *NOT* to do public relations. And I think the only way things could be worse is if you hire Sean Spicer as your PR guy. And then this happened and it’s not something you want to be the receiving end of, much like you don’t want to be on the receiving end of a flaming bag of dog shit:


...Another United employee told passengers that the plane would not leave until four people got off, Mr. Bridges said. The employee then specified that the airline had four United employees who needed to get to Louisville, he said...

A United employee first approached a couple that appeared to be in their mid-20s, Mr. Bridges said, and the pair begrudgingly got off the plane. Then the United employee went to a man five rows behind Mr. Bridges, and told him he needed to get off the plane. The man told the employee, “I’m not getting off the plane. I’m a doctor, I have to see patients in the morning,” Mr. Bridges said.

“We explained the scenario to the customer,” Mr. Hobart said. “That customer chose not to get out of his seat.”

The situation became uncomfortable for the United employees who then got on board and took the vacated seats, Mr. Bridges said. They were berated by passengers and told they should be ashamed, he said.

And you know remember the movie Airplane? I mean how appropriate is this scene now?

You know I must be boring – shit never happens on my flights. I flew American last week – nothing of anything interesting happened. I did get to watch the Zach Galafinakis flick “Masterminds” which was pretty funny. And I also watched the Ryan Gosling / Russell Crowe flick “The Nice Guys” which was great, loved it. But that’s about it. And then this just happened, once again United Airlines shoot themselves in the foot:

When Michael Hohl and fiancée Amber Maxwell boarded a flight in Houston, Texas Saturday afternoon, they said they expected to be in Costa Rica that evening with friends and family members preparing for their destination wedding.

Instead, the Utah couple found themselves stranded in a layover city after they said a U.S. Marshal asked them to leave the aircraft, several news outlets reported. Their reported deplaning followed a controversial viral video last week which showed police officers dragging a doctor off a United Express flight in Chicago when the flight was overbooked.

In a statement, the airline said the couple “repeatedly attempted to sit in upgraded seating which they did not purchase and they would not follow crew instructions to return to their assigned seats.”

But the couple denied to several news outlets that they were trying to sit in a better section of the plane.

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/news/nation-world/national/article144973654.html#storylink=cpy

But then my favorite part of this whole cluster fuck is that the United CEO said they wont drag people off planes anymore:

Not quite a full month ago, before #LeggingsGate and dragging-gate and the accompanying public scorn, United Airlines Chief Executive Oscar Munoz put on a bow tie and ascended a stage in New York for the self-styled "Oscars of the PR world."

Munoz had just been named PRWeek's "Communicator of the Year," an honor he shared with gay rights pioneer Edie Windsor and Malala Yousafzai, a young Pakistani activist who survived being shot in the head by the Taliban for championing women's rights.

Munoz had not done anything like that. But he had, PRWeek explained, rehabilitated the image of an airline once tangled in multiple image crises — unpopular with employees and customers alike.

"Communication and communication strategy is not just part of the game, it is the game," Munoz said as he accepted PRWeek's award.

[font size="8"]Alex Jones[/font]

So by now you know Alex Jones is under fire for threatening California Congressman Adam Schiff. And here’s what happened. I love that the GOP says that they’re “pro free speech” when they’re really not, and by attacking the media and threatening people they disagree with, they hurt free speech more than anybody! It’s how republicans are able to get away with legalizing silencers and calling it “hearing protection”. Well here’s what Alex Jones did.

Law enforcement officials are not saying whether they will charge broadcaster Alex Jones, the right-wing conspiracy theorist ally of President Donald Trump, for publicly threatening to “beat” Representative Adam Schiff (D-Calif.) and telling Schiff to “fill your hand”—a reference to taking up a pistol.

But, says an attorney with expertise in federal law, Jones’s threats appear to break a federal law, U.S. Code Title 18, Section 115, which makes it illegal to threaten to assault a U.S. official and provides a penalty of up to six years in prison.

“I do think that the combination of Jones’s comments would amount to a threat,” says Amanda Berman, director of legal affairs with Lawfare Project, a consortium of experts on national security law. “It seems to be a clear provocation. Ultimately, the question would have to be put to a judge or jury, but I think there is a legal basis for a conviction based on Jones’s threat, which was made ‘with intent to impede, intimidate or interfere’ with Congressman Schiff’s exercise of his duties as the ranking member of the committee investigating the connection between the Trump campaign/administration and the Russians.”

Schiff likely became a Jones target because he is the ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, which is investigating possible ties between the Trump campaign and Russia. Schiff has said there is “more than circumstantial” evidence of collusion between Trump associates and Russia.

Read more: http://www.newsweek.com/alex-jones-threat-congressman-may-be-felony-579730

But here’s why the Joker, er, Alex Jones is in the news this week. I love this defense so much. So did you know that Alex Jones is involved in a bitter divorce and custody battle? Wait, wait – back up! Somebody married this guy? And he has children? Someone swiped right on the only guy in the US who has bigger rage issues than Trump does? The guy who said that Hillary Clinton was involved in a child sex ring and that the murder of 20 school children was all an act? That fucking guy reproduced?

At a recent pretrial hearing, attorney Randall Wilhite told state District Judge Orlinda Naranjo that using his client Alex Jones’ on-air Infowars persona to evaluate Alex Jones as a father would be like judging Jack Nicholson in a custody dispute based on his performance as the Joker in “Batman.” “He’s playing a character,” Wilhite said of Jones. “He is a performance artist.”

But in emotional testimony at the hearing, Kelly Jones, who is seeking to gain sole or joint custody of her three children with Alex Jones, portrayed the volcanic public figure as the real Alex Jones.

“He’s not a stable person,” she said of the man with whom her 14-year-old son and 9- and 12-year-old daughters have lived since her 2015 divorce. “He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.

So his lawyers are claiming that his Infowars persona is all an act. Much like Jack Nicholsoh’s Joker. And why did they choose Jack Nicholson’s Joker? Why not the much better Heath Ledger? Or the much worse Ben Affleck?

At a recent pretrial hearing, attorney Randall Wilhite told state District Judge Orlinda Naranjo that using his client Alex Jones’ on-air Infowars persona to evaluate Alex Jones as a father would be like judging Jack Nicholson in a custody dispute based on his performance as the Joker in “Batman.”

“He’s playing a character,” Wilhite said of Jones. “He is a performance artist.”

But in emotional testimony at the hearing, Kelly Jones, who is seeking to gain sole or joint custody of her three children with Alex Jones, portrayed the volcanic public figure as the real Alex Jones.

“He’s not a stable person,” she said of the man with whom her 14-year-old son and 9- and 12-year-old daughters have lived since her 2015 divorce. “He says he wants to break Alec Baldwin’s neck. He wants J-Lo to get raped.

What would a dialogue between the Joker and Alex Jones sound like? You know we obtained an actual transcript of a conversation between Jones and the Joker.

Joker: You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Alex: Oh my god, I can’t believe you would say that! I can’t believe that you’re blabbing this to the mainstream media when babies are being poisoned by vaccines! You’re more concerned about what the devil is doing to you in the form of globalism and the illuminati via mind control and satellites? Look all around you man! This is the end times we’re living in!
Joker: You remind me of my father! I hate my father!
Alex: Fathers are a myth perpetuated by the mainstream media to trick you into thinking that parents are a vial part of modern society! It’s not! It’s just the globalists and the Clinton agenda who are tricking you into supporting gay families! It is not Christian! WE ARE MEN!!! THIS IS WHO WE ARE!!! YOU ARE A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING!!!
Joker: Why don’t I cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Then we can see how loyal a hungry dog really is!
Joker: You know how I got these scars?
Alex: I am sorry to our Christian affiliates. I won’t let this happen again. I am a Christian first and foremost, I usually don’t get that angry.

End scene! Thank you! Oh and here’s one of my favorite parts of this whole thing – Alex Jones goes full on cartoon crazy in his rebuttal to this madness! I mean you can’t make this shit up!

In a rambling message filmed from his car this morning, Alex Jones repeatedly insisted that he is not an actor—a characterization of Jones made by his own lawyer during an ongoing custody battle.

Jones’ attorney recently said that the “InfoWars” broadcaster is simply “playing a character” on his conspiracy theory radio program. The right-wing talk show host is []involved in a custody lawsuit with his ex-wife, whose attorneys want jurors to see footage of Jones’ unhinged and explosive outbursts. His attorney, however, said that his manic and sometimes violent statements are not relevant in the dispute since he is “a performance artist.”

While he did not specifically address his own lawyer’s statements in the video message, Jones said that “we’re all actors, but I believe in what I stand for—I’m not an actor as my main identity.”

[font size="8"]Bill O’Reilly[/font]

We were originally going to talk about the show Survivor in this entry but I didn’t like the entry, so we’re going to change it up and talk about Bill O’Reilly instead. Whew, I mean holy fucking shit. Talk about what’s called a “sinking ship”. This is what we call a category 6 shit storm. It’s way worse than a category 5 in that the shit is literally hitting the fan, and is getting caught up in what we call a shit cyclone, meaning that the shit is getting recirculated. And that’s not a good thing, especially at the Gentlemen’s Leisure Club known as Fox News, where Jabba The Hutt – Roger Ailes – has already been booted, and now it looks like they’re going after their main man next. So let’s go through what happened.

Bill O'Reilly's future at Fox News is the number one topic among Manhattan media executives, entertainment agents and journalists. But the network is keeping mum. Seemingly the only place where it isn't being discussed is on Fox News.

Neither O'Reilly nor Fox has said much about last weekend's report in the New York Times about settlements with five different women who accused the host of sexual harassment or verbal abuse. The matter has only been addressed briefly on Fox's air, and O'Reilly hasn't discussed it in the two editions of his show, "The O'Reilly Factor," that have aired since the story broke.

Fox's strategy of silence might make sense for now, given that O'Reilly is more than just a profit center for the company: he is an institution there, almost inseparable from the network, and long seemingly invincible.

Then again, that's exactly what media observers said last summer when Roger Ailes was sued by former Fox News anchor Gretchen Carlson for sexual harassment. Ailes resigned two weeks later.

That did indeed go south. But you know – I think the question needs to be asked – if we’re so concerned with sexual harassment in this country, why the fuck did Donald Trump get elected president? I mean… thank you! But even the pussy grabber in chief thinks that Bill O’Reilly didn’t do anything wrong. I mean… gee… you know what they say about “birds of a feather flock together”, am I not right about that?

WASHINGTON — President Trump said on Wednesday that Susan E. Rice, the former national security adviser, may have committed a crime by seeking to learn the identities of Trump associates swept up in surveillance of foreign officials by United States spy agencies, repeating an assertion his allies in the news media have been making since last week.

Mr. Trump gave no evidence to support his claim, and current and former intelligence officials from both Republican and Democratic administrations have said they do not believe Ms. Rice’s actions were unusual or unlawful. The president repeatedly rebuffed attempts by two New York Times reporters to learn more about what led him to the conclusion, saying he would talk more about it “at the right time.”

The allegation by a sitting president was a remarkable escalation — and, his critics say, the latest effort to change the story at a time when his nascent administration has been consumed by questions about any role his associates may have played in a Russian campaign to disrupt last year’s presidential election.

So even Trump himself is playing the “nothing to see here” card in regards to Bill O’Reilly, which is extremely telling about Trump’s past aggressions with women. So how much hot water is Bill O’Reilly in in regards to his sexual harassment discrepancies? Well… this might take the cake, and not the cake served at Trump Tower.

What once seemed unimaginable now seems at least possible.

New York Magazine’s Gabriel Sherman reported Tuesday that the Murdoch family is “leaning” toward pulling Bill O’Reilly off of Fox News’ airwaves in the middle of growing pressure from advertisers and activist groups.

The report comes amid a separate claim by attorney Lisa Bloom that O’Reilly used to call a black woman who worked as a clerical worker at Fox News “hot chocolate” during her time at the network in 2008. The television host would reportedly make her feel uncomfortable in other ways as well.

“He would never talk to her, not even hello, except to grunt at her like a wild boar,” Bloom told The Hollywood Reporter. “He would leer at her. He would always do this when no one else was around and she was scared.”


So the line between human and animal has officially been blurred. Remember when men actually acted like men and not animals like Bill O’Reilly and Alex Jones? This is what passes for being a man in 2017 – treating women like shit and acting like unsophisticated animals? If so then I want no part of it, and I am a white male. This is what passes for being a “bad ass”? I mean this is Kid Rock’s definition of “bad ass”!

And the republicans want this guy to run for senate! You know – the party who says that “oh celebrities should stay out of politics”! Shut the fuck up! Well, back to Bill O’Reilly for a minute… you know what? His Factor show on 4/12, may have been his last:

Fox News will no longer even respond to questions about whether Bill O'Reilly will return to his show.

The fact that none of these sources were willing to go on the record speaks to the delicate maneuvering underway.

The network's parent company, 21st Century Fox (FOX), will hold a board meeting on Thursday, a spokeswoman told CNNMoney. One of the sources said O'Reilly will be a primary topic.

The Murdochs, the men who control 21st Century Fox, are pointedly not commenting on any of this.

Read more: http://money.cnn.com/2017/04/18/media/bill-oreilly-fox-news-exit/index.html

[font size="8"]Mike Cernovich[/font]

Before we get into this entry, you know folks - context matters. And this is real. This happened.

Excuse me a minute...

So we got to go back to the Berkeley outing for a minute. So chief Trump troll (try saying that one five times fast!) and Pizzagate co-conspirator Mike Cernovich was back in the news this week. Not just for leading the [strikethrough]Idiot Patrol[/strikethrough], er, “Free Speech Brigade” through UC Berkeley, that happened. First off, someone is feeding this troll inside information. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my various years on the internet, it’s that you do not feed the troll. Oh, no, good sir / madam, never, ever feed the troll!

Just days after Donald Trump Jr. suggested he be given a Pulitzer Prize, Cernovich tweeted, “Sources telling me U.S. attack in Syria planned for tonight, we must stop! #NoMoreWar,” at 7:40 pm Eastern time, an hour and a half before NBC News broke the news of the airstrike.

7:40 p.m.
Fifty-nine Tomahawk missiles were launched from Navy destroyers in the eastern Mediterranean. All 59 hit their target.

8:30 p.m.
Notification of foreign leaders and congressional leadership began. The vice president called several congressional leaders and began calling some foreign leaders. The secretary of State, the secretary of Defense, national security adviser and others were also involved in making those phone calls to...heads of government, defense ministers and congressional leaders.


And as if the trolls didn’t need more feeding at Berkeley, Mike Cernovich is falsely claiming he was assaulted by those Antifa morons we talked about earlier in the show.

Alt-right blogger Mike Cernovich was reportedly punched in the face while heckling protesters at demonstration against President Donald Trump over the weekend.

According to AOL News, Cernovich showed up on Saturday at tax day rally in Austin ..............

The video shows a protester chanting “Show your taxes” before Cernovich begins to shout, “I’m being assaulted. I’m being pushed I’m under assault. I have a free speech right.”

“Look at the hatred in their eyes and in their hearts,” he yells.

A second video shows a man swinging his fist, which Cernovich claimed was a “shot” at him.

Cernovich is known for pushing the debunked “Pizzagate” conspiracy theory.......................
Watch the video below.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! And yes there sadly is tape of this.

I mean really could these asshats be any more deplorable? And you know what? Could the guy who punched Cernovich in the face and the guy who punched Richard Spencer in the face come to my show please? I’d like you to stay for an interview and a couple of beers! But here’s the main reason why chief Trump troll Cernovich is in the news this week.

If senior White House advisor Steve Bannon goes, alt-right leader and Pizzagate inventor Mike Cernovich will release his own plague of secret information that will “destroy marriages.”

The Daily Beast captured an 11-minute Periscope video from Cernovich that threatened of a series of “scoops” that could bring people down.

Bannon was thought to be on the outs as he’s said to have alienated President Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner. Trump said in an interview this week that he serves as his own strategist. When asked about the feud, Trump claimed, “I told them to straighten it out or I will.”

Who needs butter?

Well he already planted one fake news story on Susan Rice a couple of weeks ago. So what does he have on them?
The phony Susan Rice story, explained

The former national security advisor’s surveillance activity is neither illegal or unethical.
National Security Advisor Susan Rice follows President Barack Obama across the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, to board Marine One, Thursday, July 7, 2016. CREDIT: AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster

Conservatives are seizing on a report that former national security advisor Susan Rice requested the identity of anonymous people named in intelligence reports, claiming that it provides evidence for President Trump’s false claim that Trump Tower was wiretapped.

Bloomberg’s Eli Lake reported Monday that Rice requested the “unmasking” of third parties whose information is collected during targeted surveillance of other individuals. Conservative media jumped on the claim and reported that it corroborates Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA), chairman of the House Intelligence Committee’s allegation that information about Trump’s transition team had been “incidentally collected” during U.S. government surveillance of foreign officials.

[font size="8"]420 Events[/font]

It’s now time for another installment of:

You know what? Fuck it, I need a joint. And can we get some appropriate music?

Especially before Jeff Sessions unleashes The War On Drugs II: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder. Ah yeah that’s some good shit right there! And it has to be some good shit because you don’t want to smoke the wrong ganja. Am I right about that? Because… yeah… we don’t want you here at the Top 10 to think it’s all about negativity. No, we want you to leave here with a positive vibe. Especially since it’s legal now!

SAN FRANCISCO (KPIX 5) — We’re less than a month away from the 4/20 festival at San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.

But the pot-smoking holiday will look a lot different this year.

Every year thousands of stoners converge on the park’s Hippie Hill to celebrate 4/20.

Sarah Madland Director of Policy and Public Affairs at the San Francisco Recreation and Parks Department said, “This has been a rogue kind of spontaneous thing.

And for just as long, the city’s police and officials have chosen to sit back, hope for the best and then spend around $50,000 cleaning up after everyone.

And there’s other 420 Events that you could choose to go to if you’re into smoking the reefer. You can go watch 2 Chainz in downtown Denver celebrating 4/20. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Denver since weed was made legal in Colorado, but on 4/20 downtown Denver is so smoky that it gets a contact high!

Following a 2016 event that was postponed because of a snowstorm and finally staged a month later, the 2017 Denver 4/20 Rally is scheduled to take place on the actual date of April 20 for the first time in four years. That means it should happen on a Thursday instead of a weekend, but this timing hasn't caused promoter Santino Walter of Civic Center Park Productions to lower his expectations for the gathering, which is centered around a free concert headlined by 2 Chainz.

"I think it's going to be huge," Walter says. "Denver is still the biggest destination to travel to and legally buy and consume retail cannabis for 4/20. You can see it in the way the hotels are already booked out, the cost of flights out here, how flights are booked up, the amount of superstar celebrities who will be in our city the four or five days of 4/20 weekend. So I think we're probably going to have the largest event we've ever had."

When he's asked if there were any lessons learned from last year's postponement, Walter is adamant: "No. That is a major misconception." Granted, the ultra-late postponement of the 2016 rally stirred controversy, and Walter says decisions about any possible weather-related delays will be made at least 24 hours in advance going forward. But otherwise, he sees the way things worked out as having been "a gift from God."

God, I love that movie! Or maybe go to Miami where there’s going to be some bumping 4/20 parties, and don’t tell Jeff Sessions!

Much like Super Bowl Sunday (and the Hangover Monday that follows), April 20 — or 4/20 — has become an unofficial holiday. Employees will call in sick and students will skip classes. It’s a national day of stoned joy resulting from the now-mainstream embrace of those three simple numbers: 4, 2, and 0.

The date has been nearly ubiquitous in weed culture for the past 30-odd years. The term originated with a group of California potheads in the '70s and was popularized by the Grateful Dead once the bandmates caught a whiff of the super-duper-secret code and spread its use with every show thereafter. Considering the close relationship marijuana has enjoyed with music for the better part of the past half-century, it seems natural that a rock 'n' roll jam band became the Johnny Appleseeds of planting 4/20 in the minds of the masses.

But whatever you do, don’t be like this douchebag and start selling tickets to free events. That shit isn’t cool, and it definitely doesn’t fly here at the Top 10!

People have been flocking to Hippie Hill for years to smoke weed on 4/20, and now someone is apparently trying to capitalize on the occasion by selling tickets.

The only problem? The event in Golden Gate Park is free of charge.

The opportunist is advertising the event as "HIPPY HILL 420 EVENT IN GOLDEN GATE PARK" on Eventbrite. Beyond the fact they misspelled Hippie Hill, the tickets are $20 each.

According to the Eventbrite page, the organizer is "Kind Friends Advertisement." A Google search yields nothing on the organizer, and their profile page on Eventbrite is empty.

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest Round 11: Michigan Vs. Kansas[/font]

16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! If you need a reminder of the conferences, there’s the Batshit Conference, the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, the Gun Nut Conference, and the Family Values Conference. Last week – Tennessee showed Alabama who’s boss when it came to which state hurt their LGBT citizens the most, and they utterly destroyed them in the competition to advance to the next round. So two states have advanced to the Final Four – Tennessee, and Texas. So who will their challengers be? We have two more conference finals – the Fiscal Irresponsibility Championships and the Gun Nut Championships. This week, Texas is awaiting their opponent – and we’re headed back to the land of greed and irresponsible spending. The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference – you know, where your governor will roll your rights as a worker back to the stone age, while he walks away with a giant sack of that sweet, sweet green. And by green of course, I mean money. Not marijuana, you stoners! Let’s get out our brackets shall we?

[font size="6"]Round 11: Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference Championship: #5 Michigan Vs. #7 Kansas[/font]

[font size="4"]Kansas [/font]

So the Kansas Jayhawks nearly won the actual Final Four. Except they didn’t. But will they win this Final Four? Only time can tell. In the last round it was a tossup as to whether or not Kansas would beat Chris Christie’s New Jersey. But there’s no denying that Sam Brownback is one of the single most evil people in all of America. So in case you’re wondering why Kansas makes the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference every tournament, well, there’s their Tea Party darling of a governor, Sam Brownback. And Sam Brownback embodies everything that is soulless and wrong with the Tea Party. And the Tea Party mantra is cut spending, cut spending, cut spending. Well, here’s how spending was cut. Behind door #1:

Kansas Governor Sam Brownback on Thursday vetoed a bill expanding eligibility for Medicaid under the federal Affordable Care Act (ACA), saying he could not support legislation that provided tax dollars to Planned Parenthood.

State lawmakers in the Republican-controlled senate voted in favor of the measure on Tuesday, just days after President Donald Trump’s efforts to repeal and replace the ACA, also known as Obamacare, ended with the bill being pulled from a vote.

Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/kansas-governor-sam-brownback-vetoes-medicaid-expansion-bill/

But there’s got to be more to make Sam Brownback the reigning king of Fiscal Irresponsibility. If there’s one thing the GOP hates, it’s the perception of people getting free handouts. I mean first off, aren’t all handouts free? And second, these people suck. Just a big, steaming bag of suck.

Gov. Sam Brownback’s office announced $97 million in budget cuts on Wednesday, with more than half of that coming from the state’s Medicaid system.

Most state agencies will have a 4 percent cut. The governor exempted the Department of Corrections, the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, the Kansas Highway Patrol and state hospitals.

Public K-12 education, which represents half of the state’s general fund budget, also was shielded from cuts. Lawmakers had written that provision into the budget bill.

Medicaid, which provides health care for low-income Kansans, accounts for 20 percent of the state’s general fund budget and shouldered the brunt of the budget cuts. The Kansas Department of Health and Environment and the Kansas Department for Aging and Disability Services, the two agencies that administer the program, saw $57.4 million in combined cuts.

In case you’re wondering how much shit Kansas is in economically and how it will translate to the rest of the country, here’s how fucked up it is.


Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback, the Republican responsible for the state’s business-friendly tax policies, is now trying to erase any evidence of just how wildly unsuccessful his Reaganomics experiment has proved.

Last month the state’s Council of Economic Advisors, which Brownback created in 2011 and still chairs, quietly discontinued quarterly reports originally intended to showcase the state’s rapid economic growth. (During Brownback’s re-election campaign in 2014, the reports were scrubbed from the internet and subsequently available only upon request.)

The council issued what ended up being its last report in May.

Brownback “specifically asked the council to hold him accountable through rigorous performance metrics,” Heidi Holliday, executive director of the Kansas Center for Economic Growth, told The Topeka Capital-Journal. “Five years later, the metrics clearly show his tax experiment has failed while business leaders and local chambers of commerce across the state openly ask him to change course.”

Wow, that’s another good one! But we have barely scratched the surface on the Kansas Tea Party’s insane greed and corruption. Although some good news for Sam Brownback. You know we don’t want you to think the Top 10 is all about negativity. No, we want you to have the Top 10 as a positive feeling. And there’s some good news – Sam Brownback is no longer America’s least popular governor. And we don’t need to hold an America’s Next Least Popular Governor Contest to find out who it is!

Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback has lost a title he probably didn’t care for much in the first place.

The Republican is now the second least popular governor in the country. Missouri Democrat Claire McCaskill, meanwhile, is among the least popular U.S. senators, according to a new poll released Tuesday.

Who’s the least popular governor in the U.S.? That would be Chris Christie of New Jersey.

Morning Consult, a media and survey research company based in the nation’s capital, said it polled more than 85,000 registered voters across the country from January to March in an effort to determine American public officials’ approval rankings.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article143945244.html#storylink=cpy

Why yes! The new least popular governor in the country was none other than the governor of the state that was Kansas’ competition for this tournament! And that is Donald Trump stage prop Chris Christie! I mean ya gotta wonder how these assholes keep getting elected! But there’s far more. Sam Brownback, like the good republican he is, often passes the blame onto others in the event he loses. And it looks like the GOP might actually lose a seat in Kansas. And you know who he would blame?

In the first test for the so-called resistance movement, Democrats are claiming a real surge of energy coming into Tuesday’s special election to replace Republican Rep. Mike Pompeo, who vacated the seat to serve as President Donald Trump’s CIA director. But if the Democratic candidate can, by some small miracle, pull off an upset in the deeply red state, it will be thanks in large part to Kansas Republican Gov. Sam Brownback.

The wave of moderate Republicans who swept last year’s GOP primaries should have been Brownback’s first clue that a revolt was brewing in his own party. Fourteen conservative state legislators allied with the governor were ousted in favor of more moderate Republicans who were critical of America’s least popular governor and his failed trickle-down economics experiment in the Sunflower State. Last month, in a stunning rebuke of Brownback, Republicans passed a bill to expand Medicaid in the state — an extremely popular move that Brownback vetoed.

In the first election since Brownback’s most controversial move and just ahead of the 100-day anniversary of what can at best be described as a tumultuous first 100 days in office for President Donald Trump, Republicans are bracing for blowback. It may very well be the longest of longshots, but for the first time in a long time, Democrats actually have a shot in the district that houses Koch Industries, owned by right-wing billionaires Charles and David Koch.

I mean even fucking Wall St is thinking that Sam Brownback is a complete and utter disaster. When you’re on the bad side of Wall Street, that is not a side you want to be on!

It turns out the companies in charge of assessing whether a state is on stable financial footing aren't fans of trickle down economics. Tax cuts passed five years ago at the behest of Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback (R) have left the state in perilous fiscal shape. And now, one of the major ratings organizations is warning that it might lower the state's credit rating after Brownback vetoed tax increases last week.

Early in his tenure as governor, Brownback pushed a series of steep income and business tax cuts—the biggest in state history, with the benefits heavily tilted to the wealthy—as a means of juicing the state's economy. The cuts, he argued, would spur massive job growth and bring in enough new revenue to offset the lower tax rates.

That hasn't panned out. Tax collections have regularly come in far below expectations in recent years, leaving Kansas lawmakers scrambling to slash government services in order to comply with a state law requiring a balanced budget. (Most states, unlike the federal government, have balanced budget requirements.)

But some good news, Sam Brownback may soon no longer even be the governor. Apparently he was tapped by Trump to be the head of a lucrative United Nations post. Yes, he has gone from bankrupting Kansas, to possibly bankrupting the world!

Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback (R) will soon be given a plum United Nations job by President Donald Trump, multiple news outlets in the state reported last week.

Neither the governor’s office nor the White House has confirmed the reports, which quote sources alternately describe it as a “done deal” and “more tentative than that.” The job would take Brownback to and from Rome, where the cluster of U.N. agencies he would be be charged with assisting are based.

Under normal circumstances there might be little to say about one politician setting another up with a cushy gig on the Mediterranean. But Brownback would be fleeing a political and economic crisis, leaving about 3 million Kansans behind in a budgetary inferno of his own devising.

[font size="4"]Michigan [/font]

Next up in our Stupidest State contest is the return of the other reigning king of Fiscal Irresponsibility – the Great Lakes State - Michigan. Michigan is unique for its’ Upper Peninsula – a hotbed for hunters and white supremacists alike. By the way, if you want a feel for what it's like to live in the Upper Peninsula - Jeff Daniels is from Central Michigan. Yes, the same Jeff Daniels who was in Dumb & Dumber, The Martian, and The Newsroom. He directed a movie about elk hunting called "Escanaba In Da Moonlight". It's very low budget but you definitely will know what's it's like to live in the UP after watching this flick. Plus lots and lots of drinking! Michigan is the home of such universities as my mother’s alma matter – Michigan State University (go Spartans!), the University of Michigan, my brother’s alma matter Wayne State, and several other noted universities. Michigan is also the home of world class sports teams including the Detroit Tigers, the Detroit Pistons, and of course Hockey Town USA, the Detroit Red Wings! Where fans are known to do this:

And we do have to mention one hilarious and quite stinky story before we get started on all things Michigan that happened this week after Joe Louis Arena finally closed:

The Detroit Red Wings won their final game at Joe Louis Arena on Sunday, 4-1 over the burnt-out husk known as the New Jersey Devils, as the Wings bid farewell to their home since 1979 before moving to their new digs at Little Caesars Arena next season.

It was a glorious day of celebration and misty-eyed nostalgia, as former Red Wings greats acted as the ice crew to shovel during the second period and fans were treated to memories made in that arena through the decades. Here’s what the final minutes in the history of the Joe sounded like from the stands:

I like that one! So what else has Michigan been up to since we last visited them? You know the toxic water crisis in Flint is only getting worse by the day. In fact you know who one of the biggest problems with Flint actually was? If you guessed it’s a giant, evil corporation then you’re 100% correct! And of course it’s Nestle Waters.

BIG RAPIDS, MI - The Flint water crisis loomed large Wednesday night over a state public hearing where almost 500 people gathered to weigh in on whether Nestle should be able to draw more groundwater to bottle and sell.

"The injustice of this situation could not be starker," said Liz Kirkwood, executive director of For Love of Water (FLOW). "At the same time the people of Flint are forced to drink bottled water, the state is considering authorizing a water grab for a $200 fee."

Fifty-five people opposed the company's permit application during the public hearing, urging the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality to protect the state's water instead of kowtowing to Nestle.

But there is some good news on the Flint front – the Michigan House recently voted to send $100 million to Flint, but hopefully the Flint City Council will use it for its’ intended purpose and not funnel the money back to themselves!

LANSING, MI -- More than 100 activists gathered at the Capitol Wednesday in celebration of World Water Day, and the House of Representatives voted to send $100 million in federal funds to the city of Flint to help address its water crisis.

"This money is deeply needed for the city of Flint," said Rep. Phil Phelps, D-Flushing.

The Flint water crisis emerged when a water source switch lead to more corrosive water going through pipes, leaching lead out of the pipes and into the water supply. The neurotoxin is particularly dangerous to children. An unknown number of residents were exposed.

The state has dedicated $234 million at efforts to help the city recover. But the House of Representatives on Tuesday made an administrative move to send $100 million from the federal government over in House Bill 4329.

Read more: http://www.mlive.com/news/index.ssf/2017/03/michigan_house_votes_to_send_1.html

And yes that is indeed excellent. But the Flint water crisis isn’t the only problem plaguing Michigan – besides insane Tea Party representatives and leaders like Rick Snyder, who might be one of the worst governors in the country (thank you Koch Brothers! ), did you know that the former home of the Detroit Lions, the Pontiac Silverdome, is still standing? And that it has a major parking lot problem?

The long-empty Pontiac Silverdome is now facing an unlikely problem: A parking lot filled with Volkswagens.

The city of Pontiac has taken legal action against the owner of the derelict stadium, citing it for city code violations for storing hundreds of Volkswagen cars and crossovers on the property without the necessary permits.

The Volkswagens, which have been gathering outside the Silverdome since January, are the vehicles the German automaker has been forced to buy back back from customers following its diesel emissions scandal.

The city cited the Silverdome's owner -- Triple Investment Group -- last month for six separate citations generally related to the mass of Volkswagens and for failing failure to secure the property from trespassers. The city says the owner needs a site plan and business license to store so many cars there, even though the land in question is a parking lot.

Read more: http://www.freep.com/story/money/business/2017/03/22/silverdome-owner-denies-responsibility-parked-volkswagens/99506732/

That’s a strange story indeed. but when it comes to Michigan and spending… Michigan’s state senators and representatives are just as batshit crazy as they are in the rest of America.

Today a federal grand jury returned an indictment charging a state senator with conspiracy and theft crimes, announced Acting United States Attorney Daniel L. Lemisch.

Charged was Bertram Johnson, Jr., 43, of Highland Park, Michigan. The two-count indictment charges that from approximately March 2014 through January 2015, Johnson, Jr., a Senator for the State of Michigan, conspired to commit theft, and did commit theft, of monies under the care, custody, and control of the State of Michigan.

According to the indictment, Johnson borrowed thousands of dollars in cash from an unnamed co-conspirator, and later placed that co-conspirator on the public payroll as a member of his staff, knowing that the co-conspirator was a “ghost employee” who contributed no work on behalf of Johnson’s staff. The indictment alleges that Johnson placed this “ghost employee” on the public payroll solely to pay off Johnson’s personal loan debt, and that the ghost employee was paid over $23,000 in taxpayer money.

And in case you’re wondering if Michigan’s wealthiest residents are as greedy and corrupt as their representatives are, did you know that there’s a massive grift going on between multiple Michigan area doctors? There’s this:

A second Detroit-area physician pleaded guilty today for his role in a $17.1 million Medicare fraud scheme involving medically unnecessary physician visits and drug prescriptions.

Acting Assistant Attorney General Kenneth A. Blanco of the Justice Department’s Criminal Division, Acting U.S. Attorney Daniel L. Lemisch of the Eastern District of Michigan, Special Agent in Charge David P. Gelios of the FBI’s Detroit Division and Special Agent in Charge Lamont Pugh III of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office of Inspector General’s (HHS-OIG) Chicago Regional Office made the announcement.

Leonard Van Gelder, 69, of Caledonia, Michigan, pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit health care fraud before U.S. District Judge Avern Cohn of the Eastern District of Michigan. Sentencing will be set at a later date.

And this:

Detroit Podiatrist Charged for Role in $13.9 Million Medicare Fraud Scheme

A Detroit podiatrist was charged in an indictment unsealed today for his alleged participation in a $13.9 million health care fraud scheme involving fraudulent claims for unnecessary foot surgeries and other podiatric services that were never rendered.

Lawrence Young, D.P.M., of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, was charged with six counts of health care fraud in an indictment filed in the Eastern District of Michigan. Young was arrested this morning and made his initial appearance before U.S. Magistrate Judge Anthony P. Pattiof the Eastern District of Michigan.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Oh my god this was an incredibly solid matchup. Both teams gave each other a game. Which is what this competition really is about. But sadly only one state can move on to face Texas. Kansas is incredibly tough, and don’t discount them as favorites to win the whole thing. Michigan on the other hand puts up a good fight and they’re not going down easily. They came back and tied it with just 3.2 seconds left… OH MY GOD!!! Kansas sinks a 3 pointer!!! They will beat Michigan and advance to play Texas in the Layover League Championship! Final score – 74 – 71! I tell you anything can happen in this tournament, folks and we have just 4 rounds left before we crown our Stupidest State. Next week – the final piece of the puzzle remains. Missouri and Montana will be bringing their big guns out. The winner gets to face Tennessee for the Flyover League championship. The loser goes home.

[font size="8"]And now this:[/font]
[font size="8"]Iration[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you have some joints ready – playing their song “Midnight” from their album “Hotting Up”, please welcome Iration!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!
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