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(114,904 posts)
Thu Jun 16, 2016, 10:42 AM Jun 2016

Bwhahaha. How to Cover Donald Trump Fairly: A Style Guide

This Style Guide to Covering Trump Honestly and Fairly is too late for me, since I work at The Post, which has had its credentials revoked by the Trump campaign.

But it may not be too late for you, other members of the media! Please read and implement!

The Pillars of Covering Trump:

1. Donald Trump is never wrong.

Donald Trump is infallible — like the pope but with more raw sexual charisma. If Donald Trump appears to be wrong in a story, either because of a statement or an action, or some combination of the two, it should be rewritten so that he is not wrong. A good baseline for what is fair and honest coverage is that fair and honest coverage depicts Donald Trump as the shining, golden god he is, envied of men and beloved of women. Unfair, dishonest coverage does not depict Donald Trump this way.

2. Style is as important as substance. A good post about Donald Trump includes at least one of the following words: “huge,” “great,” “manly,” “terrific,” “incredible,” “fantastic,” “remarkable,” “big”/”bigly,” “immense,” “girthy,” “magisterial,” “gargantuan,” “tumescent.” Ideally, this word would be in the headline. A bad post about Donald Trump includes the words or phrases “puny,” “dangerous,” “Godwin’s law,” “cocktail shrimp in a toupee,” “husk of dead skin and hyperbole,” “garbage fart,” “what results if you accidentally leave Guy Fieri in a microwave.”

3. Does Donald Trump contradict himself? Very well; he contradicts himself. Donald Trump is large. Donald Trump contains multitudes.

4. Who among us has not been in the position where what he means to say is something wise and temperate and what actually comes out of his mouth is a garbage fart? Equipped with this knowledge, it is often best to take into account what Donald Trump should have said and to report that instead of what he actually did say. (The great historian Thucydides used to do this, which is why Pericles’s Funeral Oration is so lovely.)



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Bwhahaha. How to Cover Donald Trump Fairly: A Style Guide (Original Post) cali Jun 2016 OP
LOL "garbage fart" cyberswede Jun 2016 #1
“what results if you accidentally leave Guy Fieri in a microwave.” TreasonousBastard Jun 2016 #2
The entire piece is a riot. cali Jun 2016 #5
It is. TreasonousBastard Jun 2016 #7
yeah, I spewed my smoothie on that one.... dhill926 Jun 2016 #6
Very well done underpants Jun 2016 #3
Pass on the comments for this article ( which was spot on) kimbutgar Jun 2016 #4
Not all of them... TreasonousBastard Jun 2016 #8
that is a phenomenal (or I guess I should say "tumescent") article n/t renate Jun 2016 #9
..... cali Jun 2016 #10


(26,117 posts)
1. LOL "garbage fart"
Thu Jun 16, 2016, 10:46 AM
Jun 2016

But seriously, I wish ALL media would just stop covering him all together (in solidarity with the Post). On second thought, I really wish the media had just decided not to take him seriously from the get-go, and declined to cover his "campaign."


(21,457 posts)
4. Pass on the comments for this article ( which was spot on)
Thu Jun 16, 2016, 11:11 AM
Jun 2016

Many insane deranged Don the con supporters did not like this article.

Like yahoo comments I need to take 2 showers after reading them.


(43,049 posts)
8. Not all of them...
Thu Jun 16, 2016, 12:40 PM
Jun 2016
7:11 AM EST
What's Orange, Fat, and gets carved up in the November?

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