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rpannier

(24,405 posts)
Mon May 2, 2016, 06:28 AM May 2016

A thread for DUers that are MIA

I got an e-mail requesting aid for 'torchthewitch' tonight and it got me thinking about those members of DU that haven't been seen or heard from in such a long while
I am fortunate to be able to help a bit
But, it got me thinking about Bobolink who I haven't seen in several years
So this thread is for those DUers who have disappeared, gone away, whatever, without letting us know they were gone (i.e. no I'm leaving thread)
I hope that Bobolink is okay.
I hope torch is as well, but at least I know she is still around
Please feel free to share a DUers who has gone away and you're uncertain what happened to them maybe there is someone who has kept in touch

I think about Bobolink from time-to-time.

as a request, if you feel the need to say something nasty or mean spirited about people that disappeared -- save it for your own post

161 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
A thread for DUers that are MIA (Original Post) rpannier May 2016 OP
Wish I could remember names. I can't. But I know exactly what you mean. silvershadow May 2016 #1
The OP is about totally different situations, brer cat May 2016 #23
Oh? If so I'm sorry- the OP wasn't clear on this subject. Since we have had several similar silvershadow May 2016 #29
I am very sorry about the loss of your brother. brer cat May 2016 #36
Thank you. nt silvershadow May 2016 #95
Sorry to hear that, welcome back! dreamnightwind May 2016 #59
Also: BTW, they might be found over at JPR if they know about it. That's where I fled to silvershadow May 2016 #2
I post over at JPR from-time-to time as well rpannier May 2016 #4
I was so wishing someone would try to find me. I bet they are too. :/ silvershadow May 2016 #6
The last I heard a couple years ago, she was making her way. seabeyond May 2016 #32
I hope she is doing well too rpannier May 2016 #63
I miss Crewleader. In_The_Wind May 2016 #3
Yeah. Though I didn't know about the illness rpannier May 2016 #5
Me too. Also antiquie. femmocrat May 2016 #83
I've shared a very few emails with antiquie. She'll be back In_The_Wind May 2016 #87
I miss The Magistrate. nt DLevine May 2016 #7
I do also miss him Duckhunter935 May 2016 #9
That's one I hadn't thought of rpannier May 2016 #12
Yes malaise May 2016 #15
Someone at some point said they were in touch with him Renew Deal May 2016 #28
last i heard he was dealing w a lot of family shit. mopinko May 2016 #42
That was Lithos who is in touch with him. greatauntoftriplets May 2016 #50
Me too. sinkingfeeling May 2016 #41
Oh, miss The Magistrate! nt ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #46
As One Who Actually Knew Him. . . ProfessorGAC May 2016 #65
Me too. spooky3 May 2016 #88
Very much. nt msanthrope May 2016 #100
Me, too! He was one of my first friends on DU. Rhiannon12866 May 2016 #113
When "I'm leaving" threads LiberalElite May 2016 #8
I would guess that that's about 40% of the posters' goal, to be honest Orrex May 2016 #10
? LiberalElite May 2016 #11
Well, I should clarify. Orrex May 2016 #17
#2 to paraphrase rpannier May 2016 #27
I understand that rpannier May 2016 #13
Ah. ok nt LiberalElite May 2016 #14
i think about bobolink too barbtries May 2016 #16
lol rpannier May 2016 #18
No, he doesn't owe YOU a beer. HE is due beer, travel money, and experiences. In the end... ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #48
He was tombstoned almost a year before you joined. pintobean May 2016 #58
Whoa! That's weeeird, huh? I do miss Random Thoughts, he was very entertaining. nt ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #68
Magic! If you think that's weird pintobean May 2016 #69
This message was self-deleted by its author ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #70
So, how do you suppose I know about bobolink and so much of the history of DU? nt ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #71
Years of lurking pintobean May 2016 #72
The usual excuse for what; as opposed to what? nt ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #73
Message auto-removed pintobean May 2016 #82
In response to Post #82: Try again, hot shot. nt ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #84
Also... ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #77
Interesting..nt Jesus Malverde May 2016 #153
Ain't it, though? That poster has followed me around this board for years. I'd really like... ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #154
Perhaps I should ask the board-at-large how you managed to reply to a post that was hidden... ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #78
Do you need a few more minutes? nt ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #79
Maybe the plug fell out pintobean May 2016 #86
i stand corrected. barbtries May 2016 #96
I also miss Bobolink, who fought tirelessly against poverty, and many others who are gone. Scuba May 2016 #19
I miss DrStrange. Orrex May 2016 #20
Thanks for the laugh rpannier May 2016 #21
I agree with you 100%, especially after some of the nasty, demeaning comments tossed at torch. marble falls May 2016 #22
The indivisual who started one of those threads can rot rpannier May 2016 #24
Good for you, I think I will do the same, thanks for showing me the right thing to do. marble falls May 2016 #25
Off the top of my head: proud2BlibKansan & EFerrari demmiblue May 2016 #26
I was thinking about proud2Blib too. countingbluecars May 2016 #34
I see her from time to time on FB hfojvt May 2016 #110
She is very active right now. MuseRider May 2016 #137
many cities are becoming like that hfojvt May 2016 #144
If your dogs get along with other dogs MuseRider May 2016 #149
If I recall, at EFarrari left for that reason. Can't remember why proud left. nt ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #49
Thanks for bringing up EFerrari dreamnightwind May 2016 #60
I am FB friends with EFerrari CoffeeCat May 2016 #102
Cool, nice to hear! dreamnightwind May 2016 #105
She's Elizabeth Ferrari on FB :) (nt) CoffeeCat May 2016 #106
thanks dreamnightwind May 2016 #107
I follow her on Twitter Rhiannon12866 May 2016 #115
Oh I am going to setup a Twitter account, so thanks dreamnightwind May 2016 #142
Yes, miss them both and SwampRat, too. suffragette May 2016 #75
I also miss SwampRat, so talented and he could do so much with the current lineup of RWers! Rhiannon12866 May 2016 #114
For those who are sick, or sick of the conflict, Agnosticsherbet May 2016 #30
I was in email contact with Bobolink brer cat May 2016 #31
+1. Nt seabeyond May 2016 #33
I really miss her posts, she cared so deeply for people. redstatebluegirl May 2016 #37
I miss her. Javaman May 2016 #39
What concerns me about her vanashing is that before she vanished, she always used... ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #52
And that's kind of my worry rpannier May 2016 #57
Me too, rpannier. I hope she is still with us, somewhere. nt ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #66
I sure hope she is OK. MuseRider May 2016 #138
DU is not a pleasant place Cary May 2016 #35
Really didn't used to be that way. AngryOldDem May 2016 #130
I fear the worst for bobolink. I last reached her by email 2 years ago Dragonfli May 2016 #38
K & R. nt ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #53
... In_The_Wind May 2016 #56
Hearing that from you makes me sad rpannier May 2016 #61
Thanks for that, heartbreaking dreamnightwind May 2016 #62
just fyi hfojvt May 2016 #111
I too think about Bobolink and others who are living in difficulty me b zola May 2016 #40
wonder what happened to swamp rat. mopinko May 2016 #43
Swamp Rat baran May 2016 #44
+1 n2doc May 2016 #47
Moved from Louisiana after Katrina, I think. Then I don't know, but I remember that artwork! thereismore May 2016 #76
I loved his artwork! U4ikLefty May 2016 #108
I think and worry about bobolink, too. I remember when a certain someone was banned... ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #45
newyawker99 greatauntoftriplets May 2016 #51
She never forgot any of us DUers. In_The_Wind May 2016 #55
She first welcomed me here G_j May 2016 #85
She was the first one I thought of in this thread, and for the same reason. Jim Lane May 2016 #103
She first welcomed a LOT of people Maeve May 2016 #135
She was my very first friend here, welcomed me to DU on my very first post. Rhiannon12866 May 2016 #116
TomInTib Kang Colby May 2016 #54
I hear from him ... NanceGreggs May 2016 #101
Wasn't Symbolman sort of in dire straits toward the end of his time here? Gidney N Cloyd May 2016 #64
I think life gets in the way Bayard May 2016 #67
This thread's bringing back memories nemo137 May 2016 #74
Swampy! G_j May 2016 #80
I often wonder about ReverendDeuce. femmocrat May 2016 #81
He's ok. Friends with him on FB. n/t bluesbassman May 2016 #118
He started posting there again and I was so happy to see him! MuseRider May 2016 #139
So happy to hear that! femmocrat May 2016 #141
You got an email requesting aid? Egnever May 2016 #89
Yea, I noticed that too. nt ChisolmTrailDem May 2016 #91
NewWaveChick1981 and Haole Girl. Aristus May 2016 #90
I've still got a photo of NWC1981 hanging around in my photobucket. In_The_Wind May 2016 #93
Her posts about annoying her right-wing neighbor were EPIC! Aristus May 2016 #94
ThomCat hasn't posted since Fri Dec 9, 2011. I miss him. In_The_Wind May 2016 #92
Yeah. Agree rpannier May 2016 #99
I met ThomCat IRL and still think of him often. Rhiannon12866 May 2016 #117
He is. bluesbassman May 2016 #120
Thank you so much for telling me! Rhiannon12866 May 2016 #121
You're welcome and I will. bluesbassman May 2016 #123
Thanks so much! Rhiannon12866 May 2016 #124
I met him 10 years ago. He is so sweet. I'm glad bluesbassman shared good news. In_The_Wind May 2016 #129
He really is and I was so glad to have met him. Rhiannon12866 May 2016 #131
This year I have the time to travel short trips. I do want to meet you irl. In_The_Wind May 2016 #132
If I recall, we planned this before... Rhiannon12866 May 2016 #133
Yes, we did. In_The_Wind May 2016 #143
I am friends with Thom on FB. He's good and just celebrated his birthday! bluesbassman May 2016 #119
I'll sleep better tonight knowing hat he is ok. In_The_Wind May 2016 #125
Glad to have helped set your mind at ease! bluesbassman May 2016 #126
+1. closeupready May 2016 #148
I think about Bobolink, too! Odin2005 May 2016 #97
Rowdyboy. He passed away, but I miss him still. He was a sweet and dear soul. Squinch May 2016 #98
Same here. greatauntoftriplets May 2016 #140
grantcart, where are ya? kentauros May 2016 #104
dang, I forgot about him hfojvt May 2016 #112
He's a fellow host for the Interfaith group. kentauros May 2016 #122
That's one thing I miss about the original DU - when it gave you a notice Laura PourMeADrink May 2016 #146
I am friends with Rev.Cheesehead on Facebook, and she is doing OK. CaliforniaPeggy May 2016 #145
woo me with science and De Swiss Pastiche423 May 2016 #109
Dude, whatever happened to SDuderstadt, Dude? nt Bonobo May 2016 #127
Volcano Jen. AngryOldDem May 2016 #128
Me and Matcom use to go at it... trumad May 2016 #134
Matcom might have been the funniest DUer ever. Arugula Latte May 2016 #158
Is he the kid who went off to college? Kingofalldems May 2016 #160
No, I think he was maybe in his early 30s about a decade ago. Arugula Latte May 2016 #161
And farewell, RushIsRot, who passed this week Maeve May 2016 #136
Message auto-removed Name removed May 2016 #150
Yes--a country gentleman Maeve May 2016 #151
Message auto-removed Name removed May 2016 #152
A ton (some of whom have passed) - bobolink, of course, BlondeAtLast, depakid, closeupready May 2016 #147
Pachamama shanti May 2016 #155
Peace Out to RainDog Jesus Malverde May 2016 #156
Tahitinut and EFerrari. Tierra_y_Libertad May 2016 #157
i sure do miss graywarrior and heidi fizzgig May 2016 #159
 

silvershadow

(10,336 posts)
1. Wish I could remember names. I can't. But I know exactly what you mean.
Mon May 2, 2016, 06:43 AM
May 2016

I started a thread similar to this several days ago. The missing DU'ers are probably in MIRT jail, or otherwise Brock-blocked. Probably caught a review after being trolled, or being otherwise alerted on and catching bad juries. I just went through this myself. Was MIA for 4 days. I was a lucky survivor.

brer cat

(24,844 posts)
23. The OP is about totally different situations,
Mon May 2, 2016, 07:50 AM
May 2016

which you are trivializing as well as making about you. We have lost touch with members who were having extreme personal difficulties and people are concerned about their well being and survival. If you think someone dropping off our radar when they are homeless and/or possibly suicidal is equivalent to your "MIA for 4 days", you need to rethink your connection to humanity.

 

silvershadow

(10,336 posts)
29. Oh? If so I'm sorry- the OP wasn't clear on this subject. Since we have had several similar
Mon May 2, 2016, 08:03 AM
May 2016

threads over the last many days and weeks-again, I apologize. How can I distinguish them? My brother died by his own hand on Jan 2, 2008- and ripped a hole in my soul. Please tell me how to distinguish a MIA thread relating to homeless an suicidal without prior reference- I am also organizing a Suicide Walk in the fall and might find it useful to watch for them more carefully.

brer cat

(24,844 posts)
36. I am very sorry about the loss of your brother.
Mon May 2, 2016, 08:54 AM
May 2016

Suicide of a loved one must be one of the hardest circumstances to deal with. "Ripped a hole in the soul" conveys the feeling well to those of us who have not experienced such a loss.

I thought it was obvious the OP was talking about people who disappeared without explanation, not those banned or on time-out. Maybe it is a difference in mind set...if you are thinking about friends who have been banned vs. knowing about those with real problems.

 

silvershadow

(10,336 posts)
2. Also: BTW, they might be found over at JPR if they know about it. That's where I fled to
Mon May 2, 2016, 06:45 AM
May 2016

during my hiatus.

rpannier

(24,405 posts)
4. I post over at JPR from-time-to time as well
Mon May 2, 2016, 06:55 AM
May 2016

I know that some people went there, but at least I can find some of them

I do worry about Bobolink a lot because I know she was really struggling and then she was gone
I wish I knew how to reach her because it bothers me a lot

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
32. The last I heard a couple years ago, she was making her way.
Mon May 2, 2016, 08:21 AM
May 2016

Of course there were issues, and many of us would be uncomfortable with, but there were people in real life reaching out to her. I haven't heard anything for a couple years.

I too, hope that she is doing ok.

rpannier

(24,405 posts)
63. I hope she is doing well too
Mon May 2, 2016, 10:32 AM
May 2016

I wonder if she thinks about DU at all or if it's even an interest
In really bad times, this place can be a great place and it can be a cruel, obnoxious place

rpannier

(24,405 posts)
12. That's one I hadn't thought of
Mon May 2, 2016, 07:07 AM
May 2016

I miss Magistrate as well

on edit: Even though Magistrate locked a few of my posts

Rhiannon12866

(210,080 posts)
113. Me, too! He was one of my first friends on DU.
Tue May 3, 2016, 04:21 AM
May 2016

We could use a little of his famous wisdom right about now.

Orrex

(63,457 posts)
17. Well, I should clarify.
Mon May 2, 2016, 07:30 AM
May 2016

In broad terms, there are two categories of GBCW posts:

1. Sincere farewells from people whose circumstances require them to leave, whether it be health- or family- or job-related. These DUers post to explain their subsequent absence so that people won't worry about them disappearing suddenly. Such messages are usually well-received, with words of encouragement and a standing invitation to return when conditions permit. Sarcastic responses in threads of this kind are rare and are often sharply criticized for their rudeness in that context.

2. Petulant door-slamming from someone with an axe to grind. GBCW messages of this kind are chock full of criticisms about DU, its structure, the membership in general, unnamed members in particular, the jury system, the culture, etc. They cite old grudges or complaints about how the atmosphere has gotten so toxic that it's not worth the effort, and so on. These often come across as solicitations for (and wind up becoming) ego-massaging love-fests from the GBCW DUer's fan club ("Don't go!" "You're better than that!" "Don't let the haters win!" "Don't give into the purge!" "DU will be worse without you!" and the like), and as such they also elicit a bunch of snarky "don't let the door hit you" responses. This is the popular format for serial GBCW-ers who soak up the praise upon exit and then soak up the praise again upon their return.

In short, a GBCW post garners exactly the kind of response that befits the post and the departing member's history. A positive member exiting on a positive note will typically receive a positive and supportive goodbye, while a polarizing DUer who uses the GBCW post for one (temporarily) final gripe-fest will receive a polarized response.

rpannier

(24,405 posts)
27. #2 to paraphrase
Mon May 2, 2016, 07:58 AM
May 2016

You all suck so I'm leaving
I see them periodically
and as I said, I'm concerned about people who just disappear and we don't know why or what happened to them

rpannier

(24,405 posts)
13. I understand that
Mon May 2, 2016, 07:10 AM
May 2016

but at least I know they left
with some it leaves me wondering whatever happened to them and if something awful occurred and...

barbtries

(28,886 posts)
16. i think about bobolink too
Mon May 2, 2016, 07:28 AM
May 2016

and hope she landed on her feet...and random thoughts, i believe he owes me a beer.

 

ChisolmTrailDem

(9,463 posts)
48. No, he doesn't owe YOU a beer. HE is due beer, travel money, and experiences. In the end...
Mon May 2, 2016, 09:31 AM
May 2016

...he didn't get those things. At least not at DU.

 

pintobean

(18,101 posts)
69. Magic! If you think that's weird
Mon May 2, 2016, 12:22 PM
May 2016

Last edited Mon May 2, 2016, 12:56 PM - Edit history (1)

try to figure out how I added another three minutes in the edit history for that post.

Eta - here's the post I replied to, before edits:

Response to pintobean (Reply #69)

Response to ChisolmTrailDem (Reply #73)

 

ChisolmTrailDem

(9,463 posts)
77. Also...
Mon May 2, 2016, 01:20 PM
May 2016

...how is it that you just responded to my post here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1251&pid=1881640

...which was locked months ago?

And why are you messing around with a post I made in January? What did you post there just moments ago that you then immediately deleted?

Are you investigating me, or what?

 

ChisolmTrailDem

(9,463 posts)
154. Ain't it, though? That poster has followed me around this board for years. I'd really like...
Wed May 11, 2016, 11:56 AM
May 2016

...to know how that poster was able to respond to a months-old hidden post of mine. And I'd really like to know why he was there looking at that post in the first place, so far removed in time and from this particular sub-thread.

But, alas, the poster is uncharacteristically mum on this particular question. Not even a snark. I suspect there's more to that poster than meets the eye.

 

ChisolmTrailDem

(9,463 posts)
78. Perhaps I should ask the board-at-large how you managed to reply to a post that was hidden...
Mon May 2, 2016, 01:28 PM
May 2016

...months ago?

Or will you offer me an explanation as to what it is you're doing?

Your call...

rpannier

(24,405 posts)
24. The indivisual who started one of those threads can rot
Mon May 2, 2016, 07:52 AM
May 2016

Though I am donating 25 bucks in their name (DU name that is) to her cause

demmiblue

(37,092 posts)
26. Off the top of my head: proud2BlibKansan & EFerrari
Mon May 2, 2016, 07:58 AM
May 2016

I think they both just had enough of the direction DU was/is heading.

hfojvt

(37,573 posts)
110. I see her from time to time on FB
Tue May 3, 2016, 03:54 AM
May 2016

even though we are not friends there, we have common friends, since we are both in Kansas, and I am friends (sort of) with many of the Kansas legislators. Not sure if she is still active with the progressive caucus as I stopped going to the conventions when Topeka became hostile to my dogs.

MuseRider

(34,228 posts)
137. She is very active right now.
Tue May 3, 2016, 08:05 AM
May 2016

She is involved in more things than I even know about.

I saw her a month ago? It was an early morning meeting so there was just time for a quick HI and a hug. She is well.

Topeka was hostile to your dogs? I don't need to know more, Topeka is hostile to everyone and everything. I am so glad that I was able to move far enough away to drop that part of my address, that and the 666 on the front of the zip code!

hfojvt

(37,573 posts)
144. many cities are becoming like that
Tue May 3, 2016, 11:12 AM
May 2016

and even ones that do not have laws have groups of busybodies. Topeka does not allow you to keep your dogs in your car which I think is a very hostile law. It basically means you cannot take your dog for a car ride in Topeka. Well, unless you just want to go driving around and not stop anywhere. If you cannot leave them in the car, that means you cannot take them when you go grocery shopping, or to the hardware store, or wherever. Well, I am not driving to Washington Days without taking my dogs.

Lawrence is worse though. It did not learn about their anti dog law until I went to the grand opening of the Douglas County Democratic headquarters and got a ticket. And to think I used to love that city.

MuseRider

(34,228 posts)
149. If your dogs get along with other dogs
Tue May 3, 2016, 02:28 PM
May 2016

there might be a way to get people together to find places for them. I would have to run this by my husband but we could certainly take your dogs in for a day or two if you do the overnight. I could send you references from people who know us and our animals. Our Standard poodles are about the sweetest dogs I have ever known, they just love every creature (even the ones they like to eat like moles ewww). I will bring this up to Tom W. He should be back here at my house when the legislature gets shoved back to finish the job. No budget? The schools? They will have to be back. I would imagine there are lots of people like you who would love to be there but can't because of pets. I have to say I agree with those laws but not because I think everyone is a moron who would leave their pets in the car to perish I just think there are so many of those morons these days who either don't know or don't care that the law had to be made. YMMV

dreamnightwind

(4,775 posts)
60. Thanks for bringing up EFerrari
Mon May 2, 2016, 10:20 AM
May 2016

I thought she was one of the best posters DU had, miss that one very much. Anyone have any light to shed on what happened there?

CoffeeCat

(24,411 posts)
102. I am FB friends with EFerrari
Mon May 2, 2016, 08:53 PM
May 2016

She is doing well and still speaks out frequently on a wide variety of issues.

dreamnightwind

(4,775 posts)
105. Cool, nice to hear!
Mon May 2, 2016, 09:47 PM
May 2016

I don't do Facebook (yet), a holdout, lol. If I join I will look her up, does she go by EFerrari?

Rhiannon12866

(210,080 posts)
115. I follow her on Twitter
Tue May 3, 2016, 04:26 AM
May 2016

We haven't communicated, though we were quite friendly here, but I tend to pass on all of her Tweets.

Rhiannon12866

(210,080 posts)
114. I also miss SwampRat, so talented and he could do so much with the current lineup of RWers!
Tue May 3, 2016, 04:24 AM
May 2016

We could use a little of his humor, too...

Agnosticsherbet

(11,619 posts)
30. For those who are sick, or sick of the conflict,
Mon May 2, 2016, 08:09 AM
May 2016

or busy with life,
or simply moved on.

Your absence is noticed,
Return when you can.

brer cat

(24,844 posts)
31. I was in email contact with Bobolink
Mon May 2, 2016, 08:15 AM
May 2016

when she dropped out here. Her situation was dire: she was living in her car and very low on money with little hope of improving her situation. She was losing the support of friends and groups that helped her in the past.

Bobolink was a passionate voice for the homeless and those in need of medical/mental health services. One of the most painful lessons I learned from her was of the total loss of dignity that came from being in her situation, and how some people chose to walk away from the "solutions" we as a society offer rather than give up the last shred of their control over their lives. The inadequacy of our society to deal with people requiring understanding and empathy along with meeting basic housing needs and health services is unacceptable, but solving it is very complex.

I pray that she found an acceptable safety net somewhere. We all needed the experience she brought to our discussions, because almost none of us will ever know that total devastation.

redstatebluegirl

(12,265 posts)
37. I really miss her posts, she cared so deeply for people.
Mon May 2, 2016, 08:59 AM
May 2016

I knew from her posts that there were issues I didn't know how dire they were. I'm not here every day so I miss some things. I had noticed she was missing from here and hoped she was ok.

The richest nation in the world and we can't even take care of our own, so sad.

Javaman

(62,609 posts)
39. I miss her.
Mon May 2, 2016, 09:03 AM
May 2016

we would PM from time to time.

then she just vanished.

I still think about her from time to time and hope she is okay.

 

ChisolmTrailDem

(9,463 posts)
52. What concerns me about her vanashing is that before she vanished, she always used...
Mon May 2, 2016, 09:36 AM
May 2016

...library internet access. No reason for that not to continue that I can imagine.

MuseRider

(34,228 posts)
138. I sure hope she is OK.
Tue May 3, 2016, 08:10 AM
May 2016

My brother has done the living in his car thing off and on. He is getting ready to do it again. He earned enough money before he was unemployable and saved enough to be able to come inside with a nasty apartment, with no furniture every winter. Then back out. He will not tell me where he is when he does that. He will take no more help even from me. It killed him to be treated the way most places treated him. I hope she is not in that last straw kind of place.

Cary

(11,746 posts)
35. DU is not a pleasant place
Mon May 2, 2016, 08:48 AM
May 2016

I don't blame anyone for not wanting to be here especially if they love the Democratic Party.

AngryOldDem

(14,065 posts)
130. Really didn't used to be that way.
Tue May 3, 2016, 06:50 AM
May 2016

But incivility in general on the Interwebs is SOP anymore, and DU is not immune.

Dragonfli

(10,622 posts)
38. I fear the worst for bobolink. I last reached her by email 2 years ago
Mon May 2, 2016, 09:02 AM
May 2016

At that time she had lost her car, some bullshit about illegal parking, but really about rousting the poor and homeless out of sight and mind IMO, and not being able to afford to bail it out. (for those that don't know she lived in her car).

I have not been able to reach her by email since, and as many know, she feared people here knowing her exact location because a DUer once gave her a hard time under the guise of helping her but wanting to know way to many personal details for bobbie's comfort zone. I will not name names, but suffice it to say, it was one of the types of liberals that drive expensive cars and look down on others. Long timers here will know who/what I mean.

Well, after she stopped posting, I had always been ale to reach Bobbie by email before I abruptly wasn't, I fear she is a nameless victim of poverty no longer with us. . I know her name but will not repeat it here in case (hopefully) I am wrong and she is OK. She would not be fine with my revealing such full detail about her identity.

I understand very few here understand some things that I do, perhaps a few social workers, and less likely a much smaller number like myself that have lived homeless for extended periods of time, I will tell you why she was not dealt with properly, none of us when homeless ever feel very safe, we feel vulnerable (and truly are) extremely vulnerable while homeless. One also dos not enjoy excessively micromanaged pretenses of help, or even real help excessively intrusive and/or micromanaged, it raises suspicions, we are, or I can at least say now say used to, be prey in a very lonely jungle full of scammers, joy bashers (physical bashing) and predators of all stripes, many pretending to be one's friend.

This encounter with a DUer was what drove her away from posting here. we communicated by email from time to time until she lost her car. Now i'd lay odds she's dead.

In future be careful to treat the homeless with respect and not as she was here.

It is more important that the comfortable know. Homeless human beings are vulnerable, often worried (for good reason) people and they prefer to be talked to as they are, equal and fully human fellow travelers.


rpannier

(24,405 posts)
61. Hearing that from you makes me sad
Mon May 2, 2016, 10:21 AM
May 2016

I have been afraid that she might not have made it
But, I still hold out hope
Hearing from someone she trusts/trusted enough to stay in contact with and then suddenly vanish makes my worst fears seem more probable

I'll be honest, our first encounter on DU is something I am not proud of and, I think and hope she does/did as well, I tried hard to make amends for writing something so stupid

She commented to something I wrote about how great the economy was in the 90's.
She said she didn't do well in the 90's
and I made some jack ass post like, "Well, you were in a small number then."

That was back when after 10 minutes your post was glued there unless a mod pulled it
She saw it and was offended and (I think) hurt by my dismissiveness

I apologized several times.
She explained how difficult the 90's were for her (no great detail, just enough so I'd have some understanding)
I felt so badly for everything
The closest I could come was being without electricity for 4 months in the summer and no heat in sub zero temperatures for three weeks in the winter because I couldn't pay the bill
But that was temporary and I had a roof over my head.
It wasn't the same as what she went through

I commented on a few of her posts trying to be supportive and then she was gone

I don't know why but there was an empty feeling like something bad had happened and I couldn't help
I hoped she'd come back

It may sound stupid or melodramatic, but she was one of the few truly genuine people I saw on the site and I grew a lot from my few interactions with her
I hope you're wrong and that she's out there and just decided DU wasn't worth it any more

hfojvt

(37,573 posts)
111. just fyi
Tue May 3, 2016, 04:02 AM
May 2016

if you google a person's name and city often you will find an obituary for a deceased person.

Although her situation is such that a) she could die as a Jane Doe or b) not have an obituary anyway.

me b zola

(19,053 posts)
40. I too think about Bobolink and others who are living in difficulty
Mon May 2, 2016, 09:08 AM
May 2016

...and then disappear from DU.

I can tell you from my experience, when my world fell apart and when so many people abandoned me I began to just walk away from the people who were still with me. The feeling of being detached feeds on itself.

Wishing our struggling members all the best

 

ChisolmTrailDem

(9,463 posts)
45. I think and worry about bobolink, too. I remember when a certain someone was banned...
Mon May 2, 2016, 09:27 AM
May 2016

...for their treatment of bobolink but she (and he, allowed to return from a ban) stuck around for awhile after that. And then she seemed to have dissappeared (though perhaps she announced her departure and I simply missed it).

I also often wonder about her and how she's getting along.

 

Jim Lane

(11,175 posts)
103. She was the first one I thought of in this thread, and for the same reason.
Mon May 2, 2016, 08:57 PM
May 2016

I guess she put a lot of effort into helping newbies feel welcome.

Maeve

(42,405 posts)
135. She first welcomed a LOT of people
Tue May 3, 2016, 07:53 AM
May 2016

We were moderating buds and she kept an eye out for any newbies to welcome them (and make sure they were legit!)

Rhiannon12866

(210,080 posts)
116. She was my very first friend here, welcomed me to DU on my very first post.
Tue May 3, 2016, 04:30 AM
May 2016

I'd never been on any sort of message board before and was a little freaked out at getting such a prompt reply, but her warm welcome is likely the main reason I stayed.

 

Kang Colby

(1,941 posts)
54. TomInTib
Mon May 2, 2016, 09:51 AM
May 2016

I can't say I appreciated his posts, but by golly they were entertaining.

Of course, Tangerine LaBamba (RIP) was fantastic.

NanceGreggs

(27,827 posts)
101. I hear from him ...
Mon May 2, 2016, 08:18 PM
May 2016

... from time to time. He seems to be well, and happy with his life.

And yes, he was entertaining.

Bayard

(22,645 posts)
67. I think life gets in the way
Mon May 2, 2016, 11:31 AM
May 2016

I'm not trying to make this about me, but I used to be on DU several years ago as Doodadem. Then ended up with major health problems, and while in intensive care in the hospital, my ex (married 30 years) took off with everything I owned. I lost my farm, filed bankruptcy, evicted, lost many friends. Lost my computer. That was all in Calif.

Now back in Kentucky, and relatively happy. I'll never forget, and will be eternally grateful to, the DU'er who bought me a plane ticket back then to come back for my Dad's funeral.

I'm just saying, people that disappear from here sometimes have a lot bigger fish to fry. I hope Bobolink comes back.

nemo137

(3,297 posts)
74. This thread's bringing back memories
Mon May 2, 2016, 12:54 PM
May 2016

I was gone for about 4-5 years, and it's good seeing these names, and knowing that DU means something to other folks, as well.

G_j

(40,373 posts)
80. Swampy!
Mon May 2, 2016, 01:38 PM
May 2016

Seems like forever we've been missing Swamp Rat!
Apoeared to be devastated by the experiences surrounding Katrina.

femmocrat

(28,394 posts)
81. I often wonder about ReverendDeuce.
Mon May 2, 2016, 01:39 PM
May 2016

We never heard from him after his illness and he did not answer my email. I hope he has recovered and is healthy now.

Also Thom Cat. Someone was looking for him awhile back and I don't remember if anyone knew what happened to him. He also had health problems.


MuseRider

(34,228 posts)
139. He started posting there again and I was so happy to see him!
Tue May 3, 2016, 08:20 AM
May 2016

He seemed to be doing better He is one of the handful of DUers I have met. What a great guy and smart as can be. **talking about ThomCat**

Aristus

(66,912 posts)
90. NewWaveChick1981 and Haole Girl.
Mon May 2, 2016, 02:04 PM
May 2016

They've been MIA for years. I'm sure there are a lot of long-time DU-ers who miss them. I sure do...

Rhiannon12866

(210,080 posts)
117. I met ThomCat IRL and still think of him often.
Tue May 3, 2016, 04:32 AM
May 2016

I know that he wasn't well, wish we could know that he's okay...

Rhiannon12866

(210,080 posts)
121. Thank you so much for telling me!
Tue May 3, 2016, 06:00 AM
May 2016

I think of him often and have checked to see if he's posted. Please tell him that Rhiannon was asking for him and hoping he's doing well. I met him in 2007 when he came north for Rachel's meetup...

Rhiannon12866

(210,080 posts)
124. Thanks so much!
Tue May 3, 2016, 06:35 AM
May 2016

He's one of the few DUers I've met in real life, not too many of us in NE NY, but I've really liked every single one of them. I got to spend a little more time with him the next day since I lived close enough to stop by Rachel's before he left. He really hit it off with Rachel's little dog. There was a thread on DU.2, with photos, mostly of Thom and the puppy.

Rhiannon12866

(210,080 posts)
131. He really is and I was so glad to have met him.
Tue May 3, 2016, 06:57 AM
May 2016

I've been to a few meetups around here, four, I think, LOL, not too many of us liberals in this neck-of-the-woods, which made it even more special. Thom was the guest of honor since he came all this way, and it was such a pleasure to meet him. Any chance you'll make it up this way in the future??

In_The_Wind

(72,300 posts)
143. Yes, we did.
Tue May 3, 2016, 10:08 AM
May 2016



This year I don't think there will be distractions. I'm staying close to home. Day trips only. As long as I don't drive up during Americade it should be an easy drive.

In_The_Wind

(72,300 posts)
125. I'll sleep better tonight knowing hat he is ok.
Tue May 3, 2016, 06:40 AM
May 2016
I've been wondering where you've been. Are the pancakes almost ready?

bluesbassman

(19,440 posts)
126. Glad to have helped set your mind at ease!
Tue May 3, 2016, 06:44 AM
May 2016

Needed a little breather and am easing back in. Pancakes will be hot off the griddle in a minute.

hfojvt

(37,573 posts)
112. dang, I forgot about him
Tue May 3, 2016, 04:08 AM
May 2016

and I think he is a distant cousin.

Also Time For Change, southlandshari, Forrest Gump, and Kleeb and Revolutionary Acts 04 (my sister (as I called her since we joined DU on the same date, that made us twins)) and Rev. Cheesehead.

kentauros

(29,414 posts)
122. He's a fellow host for the Interfaith group.
Tue May 3, 2016, 06:02 AM
May 2016

He disappeared not long after we started the group. No more posts, anywhere on DU. His last post was over two years ago: Thu Jan 30, 2014, 01:42 PM

grantcart profile

If you can contact him, let us know how he's doing. And if he's coming back. I always enjoyed chatting with him

 

Laura PourMeADrink

(42,770 posts)
146. That's one thing I miss about the original DU - when it gave you a notice
Tue May 3, 2016, 01:45 PM
May 2016

on personal email that you had replies? or was it that you had a message in inbox?

I always liked Grant Cart - could have sworn he had written not too long ago - guess not.

CaliforniaPeggy

(150,364 posts)
145. I am friends with Rev.Cheesehead on Facebook, and she is doing OK.
Tue May 3, 2016, 01:38 PM
May 2016

She regularly posts photos of her cats and her garden.

I am amazed at her energy!

AngryOldDem

(14,065 posts)
128. Volcano Jen.
Tue May 3, 2016, 06:47 AM
May 2016

She was here almost from the start. Funny, astute, and a spot-on poster. She is the main reason I'm here and is one of the best from the old days.

 

Arugula Latte

(50,566 posts)
161. No, I think he was maybe in his early 30s about a decade ago.
Wed May 11, 2016, 03:01 PM
May 2016

I remember he said he'd gotten a "real" job and didn't have time for DU anymore.

Response to Maeve (Reply #136)

Maeve

(42,405 posts)
151. Yes--a country gentleman
Tue May 3, 2016, 03:03 PM
May 2016

Who complained mightily about taking care of a feral "rotten cat", but worried when it didn't show for several days.

Response to Maeve (Reply #151)

 

closeupready

(29,503 posts)
147. A ton (some of whom have passed) - bobolink, of course, BlondeAtLast, depakid,
Tue May 3, 2016, 02:06 PM
May 2016

HelloKitty, Swamp Rat, Rowdyboy, ... this would take a while, but yes, too many.

And then there are those who persist here, with ZERO social skills. Funny how that works. Anyway...

fizzgig

(24,146 posts)
159. i sure do miss graywarrior and heidi
Wed May 11, 2016, 02:55 PM
May 2016

i see heidi once in a blue moon but can't remember the last time i saw gray. she was such a hoot.

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